Skills and Talents we really don't need

[Alrik Fassbauer]

Hello, everyone,

I came up with this idea after I had a serious mis-reading from a screenshot from the RPGWatch games database.

So, now, I thought, why not make up a complete (or uncomplete, depending in how much we'll find) collection of these "skills and talents we really don't need" ?

I think this could be fun. :)

And excuse my grammar : my brain isn't working to 100 % today … :p

Okay, I begin with :

- Disuse : The skill of NOT using things. Highly appreciated depending of the mastery of the following skill :

- Misreading - the skill of not only wrongly interpreting, but outright … well, misreading things like cooking recipes, alchemy receipes, spell scrolls, "Wanted" posters, treaties between kingdoms, treasure maps etc. …

Any more ideas ? ;)

Alrik

[dteowner]

- break item: the ability to break a perfectly usable item for no apparent reason

And how about a real-world one?
-critical failure: you try to check for secret doors in a wall with your dagger, somehow swing wildly, and cut off your own head. Roll a new character.

[Dwagginz]

Instant level gain. Why would I want to gimp my own character? WHY?!

[Icefire]

Map destroying - The ability to take a perfectly good map and thoroughly trash it.

Locking doors - The ability to lock all doors so it is impossible for you to proceed through them.

Weapon ineptness - The ability of not being able to use any type of weapon with any kind of skill whatsoever.

[Ovenall]

Misplace Key: The greater this skill, the more likely the character will lose a key needed for a door or chest necessary to complete a quest.

[coaster]

Resurrect enemy: it took you 5 minutes to kill this guy. Why not bring him back to try to kill you all over again?

Skinskin: this spell covers your skin with a second soft, fleshy layer, ideal for protecting you from…well, nothing really.

True berserk: your character goes mental and gains +2 to self-harming, shouting at strangers and pissing your pants.

[Cm]

Allergic reaction! You have a severe reaction to your own health potions, causing you to become weak, slowed, taking a fire damage hit every 30 sec from the fever, and you can only be cured by a cleric.

[crpgnut]

Lame Brain-the inability to learn any skill or spell whatsoever.

[Alrik Fassbauer]

Lame Brain II - results in a lesser amount of experience points through slower learning !

[Dez]

Laziness: You have the potential to learn, but you are just too damn lazy to accomplish anything. Thus you gain no experience.

Hangover: You have drank too much booze and thus suffer -10 penalty to all skill checks and -15 penalty to dexterity checks.

Prodigal: You have no idea about the value of money and you're unable to controll your consumption. This perk results constant and irremediable need to buy random and useless items from vendors. You also suffer -5 penalty to appraise skill checks.

:)

[metamorphium]

Funny enough, I might have a twisted mind, but most of those anti-skills I find useful. Take misreading for starters (or illiteracy).

Typical situation: the game starts with our hero recieving a letter with some important notice. Now our hero (unlike us) is stupid and unexperienced and doesn't know he would soon embark on the perilous journey of saving other people's hides. The journey filled with treachery and betrayal.

Let's look at the same situation through the optics of illiteracy trait. Our hero would receive the very same letter. He stares blankly at the weird symbols on the paper. Then he tosses the paper in the fireplace picks up his rake and goes to attend to his garden.

The bottom line - neat garden and someone else saving the world. Pretty useful skill if you ask me. :D

[Alrik Fassbauer]

Well, the magicians of the Unseen University always teach that the REAL power is NOT to use magic ...

[Konjad]

reading Alrik Fassbauer's posts

[Alrik Fassbauer]

Replying to them ;)

[human_male]

- Repel female: I don't know how I aquired this skill but I'm the absolute master at it. I could do without it to tell the truth.

[zadokAllen]

Ah, that reminds me...

`streamline` - ability to make Less out of More and convince everyone (but the Watch) that Less is Better ;)

[Alrik Fassbauer]

- Mishearing : The ability to understand the wrong word when being taught a new spell. ;)

[TheMadGamer]

I vote for a blue-screen-of-death skill. And the skill would go from zero to max in 3 seconds of gameplay resulting in blue-screen-of-death upon launching the game.

[Lemonhead]

Disorganized - Your characters' inventory is always messy no matter how hard you try to arrange, stack and organize it. Got it all in perfect order? BAM! Next time you open it, it's a mess.

[Oldboy]

Clumsy: -10 Dexterity
Alcoholic: -10 Intelligence
Poor bathing habits: +10 Intimidation, -15 at vendors.

[Alrik Fassbauer]

- bad voice : You always sound as if you either had a frog in your throat, or were a chain smoker.

Adds to +5 mishearing by all NPCs you talk to ...

[Lemonhead]

Flat chested(female player characters) - none of the bikini armour in the game will fit you. You'll have to stick to the peasant clothing you have at the beginning of the game.

Flatulent - None of your NPC companions stick around for obvious reasons...

Sorry, these last two were a bit below the belt. I'm tired.

[GothicGothicness]

Haha, what a funny thread, missed this the first time around.

Oblivification - Remove all challenges, mainstream all the writing, randomize the world to take out anything interesting it it. Plus make every face the ugliest you have ever seen.

EA:nize - Exploit the name of your character brand to the maximum until he implode ruining the long legacy of great history. Finally put him into a browser game or MMO.

[Alrik Fassbauer]

@GothicGothicness : This is rather about character's skills they don't need, you know … ;)
Come on, be creative ! ;)

[dteowner]

Flatulent - None of your NPC companions stick around for obvious reasons…Wasn't it Tropico that actually had that as a selectable skill?

[DeepO]

Disorganized - Your characters' inventory is always messy no matter how hard you try to arrange, stack and organize it. Got it all in perfect order? BAM! Next time you open it, it's a mess.
This was implemented in Ultima 7. I had it maxed, iirc.

[Alrik Fassbauer]

Wasn't it Tropico that actually had that as a selectable skill?

Yes, it has ! ;)

Plus "notorious liar", "skirt chaser", "bad placed toupee" and "loud-mouth" ! ;)

[Lemonhead]

Bad sense of direction - your minimap makes no sense and your quest compass points in the wrong direction and at the wrong NPC's! (This skill/trait should not be picked by casual players as it may force them to become TOO involved in the game)

Two left hands - Your handwriting is terrible which makes your journal unreadable. You are also the opposite of ambidextrous, -5 to weapon skills for both hands.

[Jogurt]

(first post, yay !)

Memento - you start the game halfway through the final combat, with a shiny +5 armor, a diary full of accomplished quests, a beautiful princess looking at you from the other side of the dungeon, and no idea what is this horrible thing you are trying to stick your awesome fiery magical sword into.

[Dean]

................and just as your about to strike the final blow..........your +5 CTD skill kicks in. When you restart the game, you find yourself in a burned out village, your girl friend is gone, you are wearing ripped clothes and holding a pitch fork.



Welcome to the Watch Jogurt.

[Alrik Fassbauer]

- complete inability : You must be rescued by the Princess instead … -20 to all skills ...

[JDR13]

(first post, yay !)

Welcome to the Watch.

Btw: Love the username. I recognized it immediately, even though it's been a lot of years since I played Shining Force. You never forget the classics. ;)

http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/5312/542063-jogurt_face_thumb.gif

[Jogurt]

Thanks JDR13, for the welcome and my avatar:)

In a pre-internet era, I spent *months* looking at every inch of the game, looking for the inexistent secret to make that hamster (?) useful in any way.

Back to the subject, on a kinda related note :

Bad memory I : you have a hard time remembering names. Half the names are not displayed ingame, and the diary list most characters and places only with vague physical or geographical traits ('that fair lady in a green dress', 'this guard in the town with the big statue').

Bad memory II : There's a 40% percent chance that the names appearing ingame or in your diary are actually wrong ('The hobbit Sauron told me that I must be careful of that poor twisted creature, Legolas, on my way to the enchanted wood of Moria').

Bad memory III : every character ingame is replaced by the same bland, expressionless character model.

[zadokAllen]

Bad memory

Had this maxed out playing Daggerfall ;)

(Jogurt = Yoghurt in Polish)

[Maylander]

- complete inability : You must be rescued by the Princess instead … -20 to all skills …

Heheh, that would be a pretty funny twist! Not sure how to implement it, but it would fit nicely in something of an RPG parody.

[Alrik Fassbauer]

Look at the trailer of Monkey Island 3 (I think it was), and then you get what I meant. ;)

(Although originally , Guybrush Threepwood wasn't meant to be *that* inept …)

[bkrueger]

Heheh, that would be a pretty funny twist! Not sure how to implement it, but it would fit nicely in something of an RPG parody.
At least similar:
In Spellforce 2 (Shadow Wars) you have to rescue a dragon, who was caught by a princess. It was no parody, however, (though there are some ironic remarks about this situation in game).

[greathunger]

I vote for a blue-screen-of-death skill. And the skill would go from zero to max in 3 seconds of gameplay resulting in blue-screen-of-death upon launching the game.

whahahaha you haven't experienced the black-screen -of-death.

I say

-sleep wherever skill

skill that makes you sleepy whenever you lean on anything. whahahaha