It is said that in old times being accepted in the Soviet Communist Party was no easy matter, and it required passing hard exams and tests. There was one of these tests which was especially demanding and it was reserved to those young people who showed the promise to form the true cream of the party. It is said that, however, this special test was discontinued after it was passed by a young candidate named Iosef Dzugashvili. The test consisted in giving to the candidate a gun loaded with blanks (and, of course, the candidate did not know this, and believed the gun to fire real bullets). Then the candidate was told: Look, in that room there is an enemy of the people. Ask no questions, go in there and kill him or her?. As a further element of the test the examiners had placed in the room the candidates mother.
Of course, the majority of candidates refused to shoot their own mother and so did not pass the test. A few did manage to shoot the old lady, perhaps because they were truly ruthless or perhaps because they were smart enough to imagine that the gun would only fire blanks. But with the young Stalin things went a different way. The examiners heard several shots, then a tremendous noise.
Then Stalin came out of the room holding the gun and sayng: Why the hell did you give me a gun that doesn?t work? I had to kill her using a
In a Soviet pre-school, the teacher describes the Soviet Union to the children: "In the Soviet Union all kids are happy. In the Soviet Union all kids have lots of beautiful toys and live in great apartments…" Suddenly one child starts to cry and scream: "I want to go to the Soviet Union!"
A Georgian gets on a plane flight to Moscow. In the middle of the flight, another passenger pulls out a gun and demands the pilot fly to Paris. The Georgian jumps him, beats him silly, and announces "This plane flies to Moscow, as planned." When he lands, he is awarded a Hero of the Soviet Union medal. After the ceremony, the KGB interrogates him. "Tell us the truth, why did you really stop the hijacking?" The Georgian replies "There was no way I could have sold the oranges I was smuggling in Paris!"
There was an international competition for the best book about elephants.
France submitted a lavishly illustrated volume titled "Love triangles in the elephants' families."
England presented a treatise "Elephants and the World Trade."
Germany submitted 24 volume set under the title "Introduction into elephantology."
The USA furnished one million copies of a leaflet announcing a sweepstakes, "Win an Elephant. No purchase necessary."
The USSR sent three volumes, with the following titles:
Vol. 1. Role of elephants in the Great October Socialist Revolution.
Vol. 2. The happy life of elephants under the sun of the most progressive in the world Soviet Constitution.
Vol. 3. Russia - the Motherland of elephants.