View Single Post

Default 

July 29th, 2012, 17:31
Originally Posted by Damian View Post
I dont think that it leads to less divorce, all i see from my limited looks into peoples lives is that a lack of a leader in the marriage resulats in divorce(be it male or female). In our society it is assumed that it is almost wrogn for the man to take the lead, but in most cultures tahat let the man lead they are happier to stay together.
I think you're putting the cart before the horse here. It's not that the divorce rate is low because men boss around with their wives, it's that men boss around with their wives because the divorce rate is so low. Or, rather, the explanation for why men get to boss around with their wives is also the explanation for why divorce rate is so low.

Another factor of those conservative, partriarchal cultures is that women don't work. Which means they need to rely on men for food and housing. What do you think that does to the power balance between the man and the wife in the marriage? Well, what happens is that the wife stands a lot more to lose on the man being unhappy than the man stand to lose on the wife being unhappy. Which means that when the man bosses around with his wife, all that's going to lead to is that the wife suffers in silence.

In a more equal society where women work, however, that just doesn't fly. Treat your spouse poorly here and it's just a question of time before she figures she's better off on her own. Because here the wife has an income, which means she can stay single and still have food and housing.

(Which, I believe, is why, in the west, the more equal the marriage, the more stable they are.)

In other words, in the divorce-free countries the men call the shots because the women have no option but to accept the situation as it is. The marriages doesn't lead to divorce for the same reason.

(Well, among other things, anyway.)

Originally Posted by Damian View Post
Top 10 reasons:

5.Inability to manage or resolve conflict

Lack of maturity disables one to manage conflicts and handle personality differences or ‘irreconcilable differences’
Even if what you're saying is true, that's only the fifth most common reason among ten. In other words, there are four bigger factors than the factor you claim is The Factor.

And that's besides the factor that the reasons are trying to differentiate between marriages that does and doesn't lead to divorce within our culture, rather than comparing marriages within ours and other cultures. The difference comes down to far more than "the man is in charge".

Originally Posted by Damian View Post
I dont think that social suicide is enough justification for divorce rates to be less than 5000% of the western cultures.
Maybe not. But I think you underestimate just how powerful social pressure is, and just how heavy the pressure is in some of these cultures. There are cultures where a woman risks being killed by her own family to restore the family honor if she divorces - how badly does her husband need to treat her before risking that is worth it?

(That's not the reason in all places, but certanly in some, and some are too many.)

Divorce rates as low as you report them speaks of a culture where divorce is unthinkable (just the fact that hardly anyone ever encounters it is going to ensure it takes a lot for pepole to even think of it, let alone consider it).

Übereil

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.

H. L. Mencken

The Chaos Cascade
Ubereil is offline

Ubereil

Ubereil's Avatar
Keeper of the Watch

#56

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,263