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January 23rd, 2013, 02:40
Originally Posted by xSamhainx View Post
Maybe youre right. If you cant beat 'em, join 'em. Maybe i could get him at least smoking cloves, something that smells at least semi-pleasant.
Well if you don't want your neighbor to hate you, you could buy them an electronic cigarette kit as a way of breaking the ice. Maybe give it to them giftwrapped and explain the issue when they open it. Also might want to avoid most of the valid and honest points you may have about why they shouldn't smoke at all outside. Not because they're wrong of course, but because they've almost certainly heard them before from people they like more than you and it hasn't done anything.

From my experience it helps to acknowledge that smokers are sick of people telling them not to smoke and that you understand they're doing it on their property. They are likely at least desensitized to being told it's bad for them and that second hand smoke is bad for you and stinks and is gross so there's almost no point using that as part of your argument. Also likely is that rather than merely being ineffective, they've developed reflexive negative reactions to these things including smoking more. What they haven't heard a thousand times already and may catch them off guard is that a non-smoker is aware of this and wants to make clear they have no interest in lecturing them. That's also part of the point of the e-cigs - normally when someone is annoyed by their smoking, they don't start off with a present.

Maybe say that "if you want to smoke outside, could you use something like these e-cigs instead of lighting up?" When you explain why, you might want to go farther than just talking about the smell. True or not, indirectly telling someone they smell like ass is a losing strategy for getting results you want. Hell, if you have to lie and say it's affecting your wife/girlfriend/child/pet ferret's allergies/asthma/willingness to have sex at your place then go for it.

Not saying you should be obligated to buy them something, smooth talk them, or lie in order not to have your house smell like ass, but if you want to be diplomatic about it and avoid the possibility of them smoking outside more just to spite you it might be a good way to go about it. "You don't like the smell and shouldn't have to deal with it pouring into your house" is a pretty good reason for them to at least take it inside. Realistically tough your choices are between doing nothing but be annoyed by it, have the self-satisfaction from being right while you tell someone off, or approaching it a bit sideways and maybe getting results.

Basically this is like arguing politics. Trying to win the argument as a debate and convincing the other person to change their mind or behavior are often mutually exclusive.
Last edited by jhwisner; January 23rd, 2013 at 02:54.
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