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Default Dark Messiah - Scathing Review @ The Game Chair

December 14th, 2006, 06:05
The Game Chair, a site dedicated to playing games in depth and writing 'progressive' reviews (usually three parts), has called a halt to the review process after a single part and scored Dark Messiah of Might & Magic a paltry 2/4:
Oh, Dark Messiah, how do I hate thee; let me count the ways. First letís talk about storyline. Iíve played some misogynist lite games in my day; however, Dark Messiah features a storyline which may even cause certain Custerís Revenge developers to blush with envy. I play as the apprentice of a completely mad sorcerer bent on world domination. Neither of us appears to have any motivations whatsoever. Oh yea, did I mention that Iím also possessed by a shape-shifting soft-core dominatrix? Donít ask; I have no idea. All I know is that she wants me to learn to enjoy the pain. My soul sharing porn-fairy also makes continuous unCortana like comments in her hornster drawl. Iím sure the actress involved had to take several showers after that recording session. Combine this poor acting with cutscenes that somehow manage to look worse than the game engine and you have a recipe for disaster.
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