Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung?

A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

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Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

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Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?

A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.

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Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?

A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

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Q: What is the difference between men and women?

A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"