Return of the Daily Smile
- Thread starter Arma
- Start date
Cm
Sentinel of Light
@ Kayla, you are correct.
@ Bart, I know and as was posted, I have to repeat them all at least once, especially the ones that give instructional info
@ Bart, I know and as was posted, I have to repeat them all at least once, especially the ones that give instructional info
@Corwin. Soooo.... a girl pig then.
@Cm. I'm rght. Do you want to be reincarnated as a pig too?
The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2003 winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.
12. Decaflon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the fruit you're eating.
And the winner:
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ass
@Cm. I'm rght. Do you want to be reincarnated as a pig too?
The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2003 winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.
12. Decaflon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the fruit you're eating.
And the winner:
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ass
Maybe this was the WRONG end ?
What's about the other one ?
Edit : I made up this on own
:What's a Witch in a desert ?
A Sandwitch.
Bartacus
BartWatch
Ok, I know some jokes like that:
Q: What's white and flies up?
A: A nutty snow flock.
Q: What's purple, bounces against the wall and the light goes out.
A: Coincidence.
Q: It hangs on a tree and it yells: "I'm an apple! I'm an apple!". What is it?
A: A retarded pear.
Q: What's white and flies up?
A: A nutty snow flock.
Q: What's purple, bounces against the wall and the light goes out.
A: Coincidence.
Q: It hangs on a tree and it yells: "I'm an apple! I'm an apple!". What is it?
A: A retarded pear.
Oh my, this thread is about to reach an all-time low with bad jokes like that.
. . .
A man walks into a bakery and asks for three bread rolls.
The baker says: "Why don't you take four? Then you'll have one more."
. . .
A man walks into a bakery and asks for three bread rolls.
The baker says: "Why don't you take four? Then you'll have one more."
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2006
- Messages
- 3,486
We have an inside-joke in the German-language part of the Larian forum community ...
It's a bit like : Who can lower the measure for quality of jokes just a little bit more ... ?
It's called a "going down of Niveau".
Simple maths : Minus + Minus = Plus.
It's a bit like : Who can lower the measure for quality of jokes just a little bit more ... ?
It's called a "going down of Niveau".
Simple maths : Minus + Minus = Plus.
dteowner
Shoegazer
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=38499473
Jibjab is at it again. This one is bust-a-gut funny. There's probably a more direct way to there than MySpace, but that's where I saw it at. Feel free to post a better link ifn's y'all wants. I don't know if going to Jibjab.com directly will include the extra 20 seconds at the end.
edit- it loads a little slower, but here's the direct link for the MySpace haters:
http://sendables.jibjab.com/
Jibjab is at it again. This one is bust-a-gut funny. There's probably a more direct way to there than MySpace, but that's where I saw it at. Feel free to post a better link ifn's y'all wants. I don't know if going to Jibjab.com directly will include the extra 20 seconds at the end.
edit- it loads a little slower, but here's the direct link for the MySpace haters:
http://sendables.jibjab.com/
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Very entertaining! I loved the whole thing, and laughed a lot. My favourite bit was the Governator at the end and the Do it. Do it Noaugh... (or how ever they spelt it) You don't have to tell me, I've been told today as well.
@magerette. I was eating cashews. It's harder to get cashew bits out of your nose than coffee.
One of the worst jokes I've heard (but I still thought it was amusing):
The Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death.
They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.......
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon I ahm sure of eet."
"Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee".
So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture ... there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Eet EES a bacon tree!"
"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage?; We ees in the Desert don't forget."
"Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that ....Luis races toward the tree. He gets to within 5 meters, with Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden a machine gun opens up and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
"Pepe...go back man,you was right...ees not a bacon tree."
"Luis Luis, mi amigo...what ees it?
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree...
Ees..........
Eees a Ham Bush!"
@magerette. I was eating cashews. It's harder to get cashew bits out of your nose than coffee.
One of the worst jokes I've heard (but I still thought it was amusing):
The Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death.
They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.......
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon I ahm sure of eet."
"Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee".
So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture ... there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Eet EES a bacon tree!"
"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage?; We ees in the Desert don't forget."
"Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that ....Luis races toward the tree. He gets to within 5 meters, with Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden a machine gun opens up and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
"Pepe...go back man,you was right...ees not a bacon tree."
"Luis Luis, mi amigo...what ees it?
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree...
Ees..........
Eees a Ham Bush!"
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Bartacus
BartWatch
OMG, and I thought my jokes were the worst. It is clear to me that women can be far worse when it comes to humor. ( )
)That was sent to me by a male. I was just trying to make Alrik feel better as there are worse jokes out there than his joke.... marginally worse, but still worse.
My jokes are all funny.... just agree with me and we won't have a problem Bart.
My jokes are all funny.... just agree with me and we won't have a problem Bart.
It is even possible to make much, much worse jokes than this.
A few months ago I developed a tiny piece out of a word game.
It has become the "Favourite Saying of the Witch-Hunter".
It goes like this :
"Into the Oven
With the Coven !"
A few months ago I developed a tiny piece out of a word game.
It has become the "Favourite Saying of the Witch-Hunter".
It goes like this :
"Into the Oven
With the Coven !"
Bartacus
BartWatch
I'm Cm's loverboy, not yours Kayla
But you can make me agree with you if you describe yourself in the future as a blackhaired hottie :lol:
he is Cm's loverboy so his standards are lower than low
Bartacus
BartWatch
he is Cm's loverboy so his standards are lower than low
My thought was exactly the same and now I will run with you for shelter :lol:
don't you see my avatar? I am a fighter but not a physical one. I am going to stay, I'm too curiuous too see what Cm will do?
Is she so mighty to make it rains frogs, or will it be just a torture? hehehe
Is she so mighty to make it rains frogs, or will it be just a torture? hehehe