Return of the Daily Smile

Who says he DOES remember anything? And FYI, Corwin was the one who settled the area where the porch finally ended up. His problem is he can't find his way back to it without falling off a cliff. :rotfl:
 
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THE HYPNOTIST

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Centre.

Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize
each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.
It's a very special watch.
It's been in my family for six generations"

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,
"Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. ... ."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, the the chain broke, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"SHIT!" said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior Citizens Center.
Claude was never invited back to entertain.


 
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Well, I'm used to some weird screenshots and artworks from games (Oddworld comes to my mind), but this one is new to me :

She's an archer of the upcoming MMO called "Eligium", by Frogster Interactive.
What she's holduing is an embellished bow … The only problem is, how the "top" of the bow is positioned …

Here is the (seemingly later) version of the same picture, where you can actually SEE that it was/is meant to be a bow : http://www.eligium.com/uploads/media/110811_Eligium_Artworks_TrailerAnnounement_Archer-blackBGx.jpg
 

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A song about compulsive gamers … :)

http://youtu.be/wBzqOa9y02I

Hm, strange, but I didn't found it amusing in any way.

I found it rather thought-provoking : "Where do we live ? In our minds ? Where are our minds, then ? In what we imagine, or what is "Reality" ? And - how real is "Reality", actually ?"

On a meta-level, I found it very moving.
 
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I found it amusing because it's so ... true. The melancholy after finishing a game ... those days when you can hardly keep your eyes open at work ... true, at least for me.
 
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OKay, if seen from that angle ... Yes.
 
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Emma%2BWatson%2BPhoto.jpg

trollface-jpg.482

iJPcw.jpg
 
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[FONT=&quot]RETIRED HUSBAND
[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Sedgman[/FONT][FONT=&quot],

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Sedgman[/FONT][FONT=&quot], are
listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were
called.

9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a
[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]fetal position and screamed 'OH[/FONT][FONT=&quot]NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN![/FONT][FONT=&quot]'
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]15. Took a box of condoms to the check out clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

And last, but not least:
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]16.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

One of the clerks passed out.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
 
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TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL YOU'RE GETTING OLDER!!

10. You think Libido is and Italian pasta.

9. You wake up with that awful "morning after" feeling but you didn't do anything the night before.

8. You start complaining that "They're building car seats too darn low!"

7. Your pharmacist calls you by your first name......and you were not at the pharmacy.

6. You're sitting on a park bench and a Scout come up to help you cross your legs.

5. Conversations with people your age often turn into "Dueling Ailments."

4. You think a "Quickie" is catching a nap at a traffic light.

3. You play Bingo and you LIKE it.

2. You can remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST!

1. You find lists like this to be tasteless and insensitive!
 
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As usual, Cm keeps telling us all about her life!! That must be number 11 on the list!!!! :)
 
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