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July 26th, 2009, 13:38
I respond when spoken to, as that's what I consider reasonable and fair.

I don't initiate dialogue when I feel nothing good can come of it, and that's what I mean by behaving like an adult.

Obviously, this is something you feel unable to do - so I'll have to place you on ignore once again. This time, I'll make sure it's permanent. You have absolutely no clue how unreasonably you're behaving and you're letting your fragile ego decide what's good behaviour. Not something I'd recommend, but there it is.
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July 26th, 2009, 15:38
I've clearly hurt your feelings far more deeply than I ever intended. I apologize, and I'll do my best to be gentler with you in the future — whether you're reading my messages or not.
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July 26th, 2009, 16:30
I don't how you figure this stuff, D'Artagnan … you enter a thread very strongly and very authoritatively making declarations about it while simultaneously declaring you don't care, yet have needed to keep piling on post after post strenuously.

I look at what folks said about the Bioware DS Sonic game or the upcoming DS Might & Magic game … pretty much "no interest to me, wish they spent efforts on a core PC RPG instead" and left it there. If someone *was* interested, they didn't feel the need to keep coming back to tell them they were wrong.

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July 26th, 2009, 16:56
Originally Posted by txa1265 View Post
I don't how you figure this stuff, D'Artagnan … you enter a thread very strongly and very authoritatively making declarations about it while simultaneously declaring you don't care, yet have needed to keep piling on post after post strenuously.

I look at what folks said about the Bioware DS Sonic game or the upcoming DS Might & Magic game … pretty much "no interest to me, wish they spent efforts on a core PC RPG instead" and left it there. If someone *was* interested, they didn't feel the need to keep coming back to tell them they were wrong.
I'm afraid I fail to see how I entered strongly and authoritatively. I simply said my piece and made it clear that I wasn't invested in AP. Then people started saying we were being negative, and I clarified my position.

Then PJ goes on about why I'm even here if I don't care about AP and has to make his little jab based on the "negative thing", and then I make it clear why it's not about AP - but about the direction the industry is taking, and Obsidian being one of the houses that I still like.

Basically, I did absolutely nothing out of order - and if it's not ok to respond to posts, then I'm going to have to disagree with you on that.

Be specific or let it go.

You gotta be prepared to realise when something is not what it seems, even if the source is a poster you don't really appreciate.
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July 26th, 2009, 17:22
Thanks for clarifying - I think the thing that hung people up is the apparent cognitive dissonance between passion and apathy. In other words, you simultaneously said you didn't care yet had an awful lot to say that seemed negative about the game and developer and so on.

Of course, anyone can reply to anything, so long as the forum rules are maintained. The question is always whether or not you want to … or should.

I - as are a few others - are trying to help you out: I'm sure you have noticed that you tend to end up in this same discussion with a relatively high frequency.

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July 26th, 2009, 17:33
Originally Posted by txa1265 View Post
Thanks for clarifying - I think the thing that hung people up is the apparent cognitive dissonance between passion and apathy. In other words, you simultaneously said you didn't care yet had an awful lot to say that seemed negative about the game and developer and so on.

Of course, anyone can reply to anything, so long as the forum rules are maintained. The question is always whether or not you want to … or should.

I - as are a few others - are trying to help you out: I'm sure you have noticed that you tend to end up in this same discussion with a relatively high frequency.
As unbelievable as it may sound to you, I'm very happy to be the person I am - and believe fully in the way I speak my mind and remain true to myself.

I've noted, as you point out, that many here don't respond well to how I word my posts or how I "behave" - but you should realise that from my perspective they are the ones with a problem, not me. It's a price I pay with my eyes open, and you can never be as direct and blunt as I am, without getting some grief in the process. As long as my way makes sense to me, and people can do nothing to make their reactions rational and reasonable - I'm quite ok with being "disliked" or similar reactions.

It probably has a lot to do with lacking body language and the elusive humor aspect, which is hard to convey on a forum. Suffice it to say that I'm pretty sure I'm generally "in the right" and people who react strongly are basically not able to set aside emotional responses in favor of rational and objective reasoning.

That must sound incredibly conceited to those who don't appreciate my ways, but I feel I must be honest.

Thanks for trying to help me out, but your efforts should be spent somewhere else. I can only advise you to ignore my posts, if you don't like me or what I have to say. If you don't actually mind, then please give me the benefit of the doubt and at least attempt to see this from my perspective. If you have, and you can't see where I'm coming from and that maybe I'm not really a bad guy - then I'm afraid option one (ignoring me) is the best way.
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July 27th, 2009, 01:18
I have a t-shirt that sums up Dart's position: Everyone is entitled to My Opinion!! When a person says the problem lies with everyone else, I think it's time they looked in the mirror!!

If God said it, then that settles it!!

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July 27th, 2009, 03:36
Decline of the Watch.
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July 27th, 2009, 04:45
Originally Posted by Corwin View Post
When a person says the problem lies with everyone else, I think it's time they looked in the mirror!!
That is what I was thinking - but everyone has the choice of their own perceptions.

The bigger issue I had was with the 'generally think I am right' thing. The problems are multifold - first, because assuming you are generally right means assuming everyone else is generally wrong. Second, a general assumption of your own rightness and everyone else's wrongness leads to an assumption that you are smarter / superior to everyone else, which manifests itself in a sense of impatience / frustration when having to 'correct' those with the wrong thoughts / feelings / ideas.

Of course, that general 'I am better than everyone' sentiment is pretty much the textbook definition of arrogance and immaturity.

There are many smart people here, it is one of the reasons I spend what little 'net time I have here. I believe that DArtagnan is smart and has loads to offer … but while he is under no obligation to do so, I hope he takes a look around and realizes that there are millions of people smarter than him in the world, some of them right here, and that he is not on average any 'more right' than most folks here.

But again, that is all his own choice in terms of things - he can continue to do things how he chooses.

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July 27th, 2009, 09:34
Well, actually I said "in the right" and maybe that was bad wording. I meant to say that I was right in terms of behaving within the decency level by stating my opinion bluntly - and when people react strongly because I have "weird" or "inconsiderate" opinions, then THEY are in the wrong and are, in fact, behaving irrationally. It has nothing to do with me being right - because we're talking about opinions here - it simply has to do with me being emotionally detached when having a debate. There's a long story behind why I'm like that, but it really has resulted in a lot of emotionally charged "grief". I guess I could try emulating a different way of talking, but it would fail - because I have already tried that.

I really DO think the problem is that people tend to react emotionally, because no one likes to hear someone put down what they like or look forward to. The difference between me and "most people" is that I don't get that emotional response because I'm used to controlling my emotions - for good or ill.

I'm the kind of person who looks himself in the mirror every second of every day, and though I don't consider myself special or better than anyone else (I really don't - and try to accept that) - I DO like what I see, and I do feel comfortable in my ways. The thing is that most people don't feel the same way, and I really wish I could change that, but that's been my experience.

I understand your need to perceive me as arrogant, narcissistic, and I get what you're saying about looking in the mirror. I mean, how can a group of people be wrong about their reactions - and how I can I behave "ok" when I get such reactions? I really wish I could see things your way and "correct" myself - but I'm afraid I'm totally and fully confident that I'm not doing anything wrong - and IN FACT it's your way of reacting that might be unhealthy. Maybe that's insane or whatever, but that's really how I feel.
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July 27th, 2009, 10:37
Originally Posted by txa1265 View Post
The bigger issue I had was with the 'generally think I am right' thing. The problems are multifold - first, because assuming you are generally right means assuming everyone else is generally wrong. Second, a general assumption of your own rightness and everyone else's wrongness leads to an assumption that you are smarter / superior to everyone else, which manifests itself in a sense of impatience / frustration when having to 'correct' those with the wrong thoughts / feelings / ideas.
Assuming that you're generally right isn't much of a problem. Everybody assumes that they're right when they state an opinion; that's what opinions are. It only becomes conceited (and counterproductive) if you're not open to the possibility that you might be wrong.
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July 27th, 2009, 13:49
Originally Posted by Prime Junta View Post
Assuming that you're generally right isn't much of a problem. Everybody assumes that they're right when they state an opinion; that's what opinions are. It only becomes conceited (and counterproductive) if you're not open to the possibility that you might be wrong.
When you're right, you're right … and you're right! But you already knew that!

And D'Artagnan - thanks for clarifying!

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July 27th, 2009, 14:04
Originally Posted by txa1265 View Post
When you're right, you're right … and you're right! But you already knew that!

And D'Artagnan - thanks for clarifying!
Welcome

Let's play a game and pretend we're all open to the possibility of being wrong, and then see what happens

It's certainly not productive when you consider those who don't agree with you as being closed-minded. In this world, we want everything to be black and white - because it makes it tangible to deal with. Sadly, sometimes no one is right and no one is wrong - we're just different and see the world through different eyes. It's not a competition, and that's why I don't take opposing opinions personally. I'm used to not being appreciated on forums, and it's no big deal, really.

Like my favorite quote:

Above all else, to thine own self be true

If we all stick to that, I think we'll do ok - even when we disagree.
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