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Default Mass Effect IV - 10 Things BioWare Must Not Do

July 19th, 2014, 15:57
Games.on.net has writtern up a new list of ten things they think BioWare absolutely must not do in the next Mass Effect game.

Warning: The article comes across as a parody so read if for laughs. Seriouly guys it's pure satire, and not to be taken serious. You have been warned.
That One-Button Control Scheme

BioWare’s decision to bind everything that wasn’t “shoot” to the space bar led to more than its fair share of frustrated screaming, especially in Mass Effect 3’s multiplayer. It’s our fond hope that whatever BioWare decide to do next with Mass Effect, they figure out that not everybody enjoys taking vaulting repeatedly back and forth over a low wall instead of reviving their dying comrades.

So does every NPC that can’t be romanced

There’s a whole internet industry that thrives on imagining fictional pairings between BioWare characters, and it’s time to step that up a notch and just make every character a romance option. I’m not talking disrespectful Witcher-style seductions where you get a trading card for every woman you seduce, but real, meaningful relationships that takes months or even years to come to fruition — even with the most inconsequential NPC, human or not.

Adding seventeen more wheels to the Mako is just a bad idea

I’m one of the three people on earth who actually genuinely liked driving the Mako around, but look: seventeen more wheels? That is a preposterous idea. Where would they even go? You can’t have an odd number of wheels. Just leave the Mako alone.

Conversations: just say no

We’ve had three games of this now, and quite frankly I think that’s enough. If BioWare have even the slightest amount of courage, they’ll do away with this unnecessary clutter. Heck, don’t even bother modelling the mouths on the characters. This will have a number of other benefits too: A massively reduced download size for the game, thanks to the lack of audio, and no need to bother with translation and localisation costs.
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Last edited by Couchpotato; July 21st, 2014 at 00:30. Reason: Updated the Warning
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July 19th, 2014, 15:57
"The hard truths that BioWare don't want to hear"

The first hard truth: BioWare is a single company, not a set of them, so these are hard truths that BioWare DOESN'T want to hear. I've been seeing this mistake on a lot of gaming websites lately and this article has it all over the place. What's the deal??
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July 19th, 2014, 16:15
Again "10 things…" ME4.
Okay, I'll bite once more.

10. That One-Button Control Scheme
I don't care for multiplayer mentioned in the article. This thing should have been "remove multiplayer". Buttons on PC are done well.

9. The Reapers have to go
WTF? We, all of us, took the option to kill Reapers on ME3 ending. Including those who tried other two options. The article writer is retarded assuming the majority left them alive.

8. So does every NPC that can’t be romanced
Bah. There will be romances since it's the deal with that franchise, the point should be do them well or don't do them at all.

7. Adding seventeen more wheels to the Mako is just a bad idea
Man… Just bring Mako back and leave it at that.

6. Conversations: just say no
Reduced download size? Since when ME had a size issues? The article author thinks they're making 50Gb wolfenstein crap. Why am I reading more of this…

5. Jedi Knights
Never seen any in ME games, never will be seeing any. What drugs is this author using? I want some!

4. Combat needs to be reworked substantially
Again a fail of a suggestion. Combat needs to be less important than RPG elements. Simple as that.

3. A forced cameo from Mario and Sonic
For god's sakes… Forced cameos of superexpensive DLC NPCs has to be removed from the actual game. Who gives a damn about Sonic and Mario cameos?

2. Mounted combat
Again combat? Are we talking about RPG or FPS here?

1. Tony Abbott
Never heard of that person.


Guys, seriously, skip this article. I wasted too much time on it, please, don't repeat my mistake.

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July 19th, 2014, 16:22
Obviously you didn't read the following Joxer. It's a joke article meant for laughs as it starts out serious, and degrades in quality quickly.
Warning: The article comes across as a parody so read if for laughs.
Anyway as usual the weekends are terrible for news, I'll take anything of interest.

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July 19th, 2014, 16:27
I was not laughing. That's not parody. That's rubbish.

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July 19th, 2014, 16:29
Here is the site response.
Considering we don’t normally do Top 10 articles – plus the fact it’s by Tim – plus the fact its actually tagged Satire – I figured many people would have seen the signs.
So I warned you in the news-bit, and You read it at your own risk.

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July 19th, 2014, 16:56
It's like saying my family have or has.

It can refer to the people within the company or the company as an entity.

It's not an actual mistake.
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July 20th, 2014, 00:20
Originally Posted by Pladio View Post
It's like saying my family have or has.

It can refer to the people within the company or the company as an entity.

It's not an actual mistake.
Actually, it is in American English. Companies and other entities are singular, even if they have an S on the end of the name. (Example: American Motors is having an excellent quarter.) The Brits do it the otther way, thinking of a company or organization in the collective sense, using the plural to denote the people that it is comprised of. The British way is taking over in America of late. It's being used all over the place. Languages are fluid things. If Americans continue using it, as it appears they will, it will become an accepted usage, if it hasn't already.
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July 20th, 2014, 06:53
Originally Posted by joxer View Post
1. Tony Abbott
Never heard of that person.
Tony Abbott is Australian PM but I still don't get what he has to do with ME4… even as a joke.

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July 20th, 2014, 10:57
I think it's quite straight forward really, the article is merely attempting to be ironic whilst simultaneously illustrating its political bias.

@ Joxer, wow I just saw everything in the article fly over your head entirely. Way to not have a sense of humour mate.

As to whether its funny or not? I'm not the biggest fan of the trilogy to begin with, so I'm probably not one to ask (despite having played and finished them all) but for the most part, the article does seem to miss its target from a humour point of view for me, except maybe for the no-voiced dialogue part.

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July 21st, 2014, 00:25
Originally Posted by Capt. Huggy Face View Post
Actually, it is in American English. Companies and other entities are singular, even if they have an S on the end of the name. (Example: American Motors is having an excellent quarter.) The Brits do it the otther way, thinking of a company or organization in the collective sense, using the plural to denote the people that it is comprised of. The British way is taking over in America of late. It's being used all over the place. Languages are fluid things. If Americans continue using it, as it appears they will, it will become an accepted usage, if it hasn't already.
Another British invasion!? Oh bloody… <ahem> Oh buggar… <AHEM> Oh that sucks! Honestly, it really does grate on me pretty bad. I end up looking back at the subject to see if I read it wrong.

Joxer - there's four endings, aren't there? You can choose to not choose. Then the Reapers are allowed to just do what they've always done.
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