Divinity 2 Divine Divinity 2 Ending

mojokabobo said:

This isn't my text, taken from somewhere else… but I agree with it completely so here it is:

Divinity 2's Ending is stupid and (something that rhymes with Hull Quit).

There, I said it. I don't know who on here has played through the game, but boy howdy, did that ending completely vaporize the replay value.

I've been looking around online, thinking maybe I was had - that this was the "bad" ending out of a pair, but no. It's the only one. And it is completely, mind-blowingly, pants-on-head retarded.

And people still defend it! "Well," they say, "at least it's not a predictable ending, like all those other good games."

An ending with closure, you mean? Or just one that makes a lick of sense? It's not that I don't like twist endings, and it's not that I hate any ending that isn't happy and flowery. I'm particularly fond of bittersweet endings, actually. But one thing that I do demand from them is that we don't abruptly segue from J.R.R. Tolkien to Samuel Beckett in the final act.

So now I should probably provide something to back up my assertion, huh? Well, here's some things we can infer from the conclusion of the game:

1. Everyone in the world is wrong. Everyone. Dumbledore Zandalore, Commander Rhode, You, Marius, everyone at Farglow, the entire population of the Orobas Fjords, Sassan, Zandalore, Damian (and by extension, the entire Black Ring, including all those generals you kill at the flying forts), Ba'al, Laikan, Zandalore, Razakael, Commaner what's-his-face, the island spirit, Zandalore, General Augustus, Deodotus, the Patriarch, Zandalore, zombie-Sassan, and Zandalore for good measure. Did I mention Zandalore? Some of these people are supposed to be the sharpest tools in the shed, the wisest people on the planet (like Zandalore). Damian was in on this plan from the beginning, but still spent 99% of the game trying to kill you. And then at the end of the game The Divine chews you out for screwing everything up, conveniently forgetting that there was NO WAY for you to know better and that this is all his fault for not tossing Damian down a well when he was still in diapers. What. The. Heck?

2. Ygerna has power like the world has never known, power that exceeds that of everyone in the game combined, with the possible exception of the Patriarch. Maybe. In order for the ending of the game to be remotely feasable, she has to be able to:

A) Reach out across space, time, and planes of existence through a barrier that the most powerful mage the world has ever known (Maxos, remember him?) could barely get through while he was alive, without any of the four artifacts of awesome that you needed to cross the barrier, and imitate a dragon. And when I say imitate a dragon, I mean BE a dragon, complete with being able to turn into a dragon, grant dragon-powers to someone else, conjure a magical axe through sheer force of will so that she can drop it a short distance from what's-his-face's tower, spoof your mindreading abilities, register as a dragon on Commander Rhode's dragon-radar, fool the patriarch (Remember him? The guy so powerful that thinking about his name causes mutations in the local flora?) and presumably have little dragon babies.

B) While doing all of that, she has to maintain the personality and affectations of a dragon perfectly, lest you see through her disguise. Of course, it helps that everyone in the world is unknowingly helping her maintain the illusion, but you still would think that she'd have slipped up sooner or later. I mean, if it were me, the knowledge that the wisest man on the planet is going around telling everyone that the key to the world's salvation is resurrecting me so that my bald lover and I can destroy the world would eventually wear down my psyche to the point that I would have to laugh maniacally or explode.

C) She has to do all of that while dead. Yes, dead. Not undead, not sorta-dead, but dead and wasting away in the Hall of Echoes.

D) At the end of all of that, she's so strong that reality is rewritten and she's resurrected because, essentially, she forgot that she had been executed.

So we can clearly see that Ygerna has power that could best be described as 'godlike.' So knowing that, we must also infer that…

3. Ygerna is just not that bright. Yeah, I know that she's supposed to have that Magnificant Bastard vibe going at the end, but all I could think was, "What a senseless waste of time and resources."

Knowing as we do that Ygerna has godlike abilities even while dead, why didn't she just reach out and give Damian a huge power boost, and let him rock face on the world until he forced his way into the Hall of Echoes to do the job himself? "But Jade," you say, "the Divine said she was looking for a weak mind." Humbug! With Damian she would have had a willing mind. Surely that would have been easier. She would have been starting with an epic level warlord instead of my scrawny level 7 punk. What's that, you say? The patriarch wouldn't have opened the portal? Big deal! Ygerna can disguise herself as whatever she wants and take mortal form wherever she wants. She could just disguise herself as Zandalore and ask the patriarch then.

Or if that isn't possible for some reason (Damian allergic to dragon spit, maybe?) she could have just given her boyfriend a call and taken 90 seconds to explain her plan to him so he could maybe not lose so many troops trying to stop her. For frak's sake, I killed all his generals! The Black Ring corporate ladder looked like a pair of chopsticks by the time I was done with them, with Talana Ygerna cracking Bond One-Liners the whole way. The real twist ending was that he had anything to attack the world with during the game's ending face-slap of a cutscene.

Come to think of it, how the heck did the Divine manage to kill her in the first place? Why didn't she just mind control him then and there and take over the world? Why not reach out of the video game into our world to stop this crappy ending from being written? It. Makes. No. Sense.

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