Teacher ridicules kid saying creationism, loses court case.

Nobody I know finds it easy to read stuff that doesn't interest them. I read ridiculously quickly -- easily a thousand pages a day, assuming I don't have anything else to do -- but I remember exam books that felt like forty years in the wilderness.

I don't think your problem is an inability to read, Damian. It's a lack of motivation to read. You're not really, genuinely motivated to explore information about, say, the origins of the universe, and therefore you find any text about it so tedious that you give up after a screenful or so. That's not schizophrenia, it's entirely normal -- people don't like to read about stuff that doesn't interest them.

It's up to you to decide what you want to do about this. You could either give up on the topic altogether and get into something that does genuinely interest and motivate you (and, consequently, give up these futile attempts to defend creationism), you could attempt to somehow discover a genuine interest in science, or you could muddle on as you do and keep hitting this same wall. Hiding behind your diagnosis every time the going gets tough isn't really your best option, IMO -- you *are* trying to deal with your schizophrenia, not use it as an excuse. Right?

Prime Junta said:

Nobody I know finds it easy to read stuff that doesn't interest them. I read ridiculously quickly -- easily a thousand pages a day, assuming I don't have anything else to do -- but I remember exam books that felt like forty years in the wilderness.

I don't think your problem is an inability to read, Damian. It's a lack of motivation to read. You're not really, genuinely motivated to explore information about, say, the origins of the universe, and therefore you find any text about it so tedious that you give up after a screenful or so. That's not schizophrenia, it's entirely normal -- people don't like to read about stuff that doesn't interest them.

It's up to you to decide what you want to do about this. You could either give up on the topic altogether and get into something that does genuinely interest and motivate you (and, consequently, give up these futile attempts to defend creationism), you could attempt to somehow discover a genuine interest in science, or you could muddle on as you do and keep hitting this same wall. Hiding behind your diagnosis every time the going gets tough isn't really your best option, IMO -- you *are* trying to deal with your schizophrenia, not use it as an excuse. Right?

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Yes, as i said it is a habit that formed that i find difficult to break. Schizophrenia does have something to do with it though. My type makes me lazy, i have to fight that. Arguing with you guys help me with that as i do read some of what you give me and do my own research. For example i normally wouldnt read much of the bible but because people like to say that the bible contradicts itself and give out a list, i am forced to read those particular texts and make my own conclusions.

Before i started arguing with you guys i couldnt even read half a page, now i can read a full page. I was hoping to use that to better myself and control my illness.

Right. Im going to be a bit more open than what's good for me, but here goes;

When I got my diagnosis I decided to not allow it to control me. I did a lot of research on it, and decided to find ways to work around it. I did my best to understand myself, like reading psychology. In general I have been able to cope so much by using a variation of strategies that I today function very much as a normal person, at least officially. People cannot even guess how much work it have taken to learn and train myself in abilities that other people get for free by nature. An important thing is to remember that one is not alone. People tend to spend more time looking up at those who they consider flawless than working to solve their own problems. In hindsight I can tell you that praying to solve problems is the same as not doing anything.

I still have huge problems reading long bits of information and getting through books I am not genuinely interested in. I even find it difficult to read stuff like roleplaying games or novels I actually like. One of my strategies was to begin to watch documentaries and listen to audiotapes instead. Instead of spending time in bed with a book, I put the earphones in and take long walks, listening through various topics like philosophy, psychology, anthropology, history, natural sciences, all sorts of subjects. Having listened or seen a subject first, it's easier to read it.

I also have a "you have no options" discipline that came from the realization that life is limited (my fathers death) and the only way I could make my life meaningful and valuable was through using my brain. My IQ is way above the Swedish average, and if I have no other qualities, I can at least use that one as much as I can. The sideeffect is that I often push myself over the edge. You do get motivated when you remember that life itself is at stake, but pushing yourself too much have consequences.

Having said that; I do not believe your major problem is related to reading, but interest. You are more than eager to search and deliver information as long as it allows you to preserve your position, or rather; your family's position as well as your social situation that depends on you preserving, keeping and defending what your social community hold as unquestionable. Had you instead been concerned with what's true, you would had taken a very different approach.

When I knew nothing I used to spend a lot of energy debating positions in topics I knew nothing about. Looking back at it, I think I argued more with myself than those who were listening, trying to convince myself that my position was sound and true. I also tried to convince myself that I had value and meaning in what I did, despite the fact that I knew nothing and was in fact, completely useless. The only thing I succeeded at was to sound like a fool and be treated as a fool.

My approach to information today is very different today than what it was 15 years ago. It's very important for me that my current position is true. I do not allow myself to be wrong, so if facts defeat my current position, I update that position at once. If I get a reputation of having no credibility, or relying on bad sources, I have given up my only real chance in life. This new approach have made me into something of an authority on knowledge in school. When a teacher is not available, people comes to me to ask questions. I even get nicknames like Einstein and Wikipedia these days and I have noticed that old time friends treat me with far more respect now than they used to do. I even end up as a natural leader over and over again when I hadn't asked about it. And when I speak now, people listen to what I have to say. I am kind of worried about that position though, as I do not like to be an authority on knowledge. If I teach people the wrong things, I have given up my responsibility, thus I have begun taking on the role as an educator, urging people to seek information, rather than simply giving it to them.

I respect how you can be honest about yourself without pretentiousness, Damian. And I'm glad to hear you're making progress.

I have a friend who we all believe, my circle of friends, that he suffers from schizophrenia. He moved away in his middle 20's and a few years ago he returned here due to the death of his father. We were all stunned, our group, in the changes that had taken place in his mental health. While always sort of odd, most of my group are, he was now clearly mentally disturbed. His basic belief was that he was some sort of secret agent for some black ops sort of organization. Some evidence of the progression of his illness was this belief and also that he could dematerialize, teleport objects, polymorph other beings..etc. It was all rather frightening, and very sad. Bottom line I suppose is that if you are not under the care of a doctor you should seek help. My friend has since gone again and I believe he was never under medical care, though to a cursory observer he seems as normal as anyone else.

Thanks for the advice guys and girls.

I'd like to echo what everyone said here. I'd also recommend to try and stay on any medications if your doctor has prescribed any. Constant management and care are important to coping with and beating these things. I have to admit, however, I am a COMPLETE hypocrite in that regard - I should be (heavily) medicated for my bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders but I decided to stop taking my meds a few years ago. The side effects for me were so bad that I couldn't live anything approaching a normal life while on them.