Maybe it's wise to take an extra look at your (hidden) exclamation marks, because your labels, your perceptions appear to be gospel if you ask me. They may be true for you, but because you leave little room for different view, your labeling could be a reason why people take it personal instead of ignoring it. Perhaps you need to take more time replying.
I speak my mind - and if I'm wrong about something, that's always a possibility. You do the same constantly, or haven't you noticed?
You're just slightly more "polite" about it.
You tell yourself you've been neutral about me - and you claim to want to understand me.
That's blatantly false and you know it.
You set out to challenge me and show me the error of my ways. It literally beamed out of your words.
You've done nothing except to try and make me see how wrong I am - and how I remind you of yourself when you were young and naive. You haven't put forth the slightest effort to understand what I'm really saying - or you certainly haven't shown it.
Not one single time have you said: "Ah, I understand where you're coming from - but I don't agree."
You've turned everything into something it's not - because you don't have a clue what I'm really saying.
Instead of thinking about this rationally - you've formed a fantasy image of a man who enjoys inflicting pain and who is very self-centered. Because that's the only image your mind can manage that matches what you think of my behavior.
No, you haven't been neutral. I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider you to be a dishonest person. A dishonest person who is unwilling to challenge the views held within. You'd rather label me a self-centered and cruel individual - which is MUCH worse than what I've said about you.
You wouldn't be related to Thrasher, by any chance?
Let me rephrase what I was saying:
I couldn't imagine YOU'RE that restricted that your truth can be told in just one way. Isn't it the essence that counts rather than the form?
But apparently you ARE restricted, you can't think of any other way, but the blunt way, to say what you wish to say.
What makes you think I can't think any other way? I could say the same about you - but that's not rational either.
We've both considered all kinds of ways - and we've come to our own through experience and processing that experience.
You told me you:
- you inflict pain
- simply because YOU think it makes sense
- without even the wish to consider how to ease the pain ("If you believe you can always be fully honest and still ease the pain - then we simply disagree", and "I prefer not to manipulate information or try to imagine how it's received", 'it' being your bluntness.)
Another example of you not putting forth the slightest effort of listening. If you can't even read what I'm saying - I honestly don't think this is worth the effort.
I've specifically stated that I prefer people feel good - and that I want to avoid causing pain.
The only reason I cause pain is because I believe it can prevent a greater pain.
Before I started replying in this thread I was more or less neutral towards you, did not dislike you - still don't dislike you - but with every new post of yours in this thread there seems to be more and more distance between us.
I have no interest in your affection or your proximity. Try to appreciate that. Don't make it personal - I don't.
You don't know me - and you very likely never will. Why would I care about your perception when you have almost no tangible knowledge and you're not genuinely interested in understanding me?
You liking me is of seemingly no value.
For the record, I have no problem with you. But I also don't know you very well. But it seems you're a dishonest person - and I don't enjoy exchanging with dishonest people.
I'm sorry but for a moment your excuse ("I do what I do BECAUSE I don't want people to get hurt") made me think of men who beat the shit out of their son, because ' it's good for the boy, that'll turn the softy into man'. They mean to do well? That makes all well?
I'm not sure how that applies to me and I don't need an excuse.
If the man beats his sons because he truly believes it's for their benefit - then I can understand why he's doing it. I don't agree with him - but at least I can understand it.
That said, I don't believe a lot of fathers beat "the shit out of their sons" because they mean well - but because they're mentally unstable. Even so, they may actually mean well.
But they'll have a hard time rationalising it - where as I have a very easy time rationalising my approach.
I think your behavior is self-centered, to say the least.
Yes, that follows.
I think it's safe to assume that we're done here.
