Return of the Daily Smile

crpgnut said:

What type of cocktails did they serve? Molotav?

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Well, "cocktails" is written in red…

What is the problem with truth in advertising???

Good one, Aubrielle.

pibbur who is the son of parents initially living far apart, who married a woman initially living far from him, and who got 2 daughters which were born far apart (geographically, not temporarily). But who still may be considered a freak by some people.

Rabbits brew their beer with extra hops.

pibbur who said:

But who still may be considered a freak by some people.

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Oh, I'm fairly sure most people consider me a freak in some way, so you're in good company. xD

A naughty picture from North Korea:


pibbur who assumes many of you have seen it already. And who wonders if the arrangement is intentional (not by mr. Kim) or not.

That smile says it all!!

The lady on the right smiles in a similar way.

When the snail lost his shell, he felt sluggish.

That's 2/3 of a Pun; PU!!

My favourites : 10, 11, 15, 25
Especially 25 ! Since I'm almost deaf on one ear.

dteowner said:

When the snail lost his shell, he felt sluggish.

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'cause when the slug left the shell, he was nailed.

(groan)

pibbur who said:

A naughty picture from North Korea:

Click to expand...

I wonder what they're writing on those notebooks

Little old lady is sitting by her husband of 50 years hospital bed.
Doctor comes in and tells her it could only be a matter of minutes but the end will come very soon.

Little old lady looks up at the doctor and says" Can you hurry up and give him a dose of Viagra?"

"Ummm..............why would you want him to have that?"

"Because for the last forty years he kept saying the only time he was happy was when he had an erection. I want him to go out smiling at least."

What makes a dead crab float?

Two scoops of ice cream, two scoops of dead crab...

Peter Marshall's
Favorite Hollywood Squares Answers

Peter Marshall
According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait a while. Why?

Paul Lynde
He’s out of town.


Peter Marshall
Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie “What’s The Matter With Helen?” Who plays Helen?

Charley Weaver
Dennis Weaver; that’s why they asked the question.


Peter Marshall
What are “dual-purpose cattle” good for that other cattle aren’t?

Paul Lynde
They give milk and cookies — but I don’t recommend the cookies.


Peter Marshall
When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

Charley Weaver
I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.


Peter Marshall
Robert Young recently stated, “I never, never give...” something to his fans who ask for it. What?

Paul Lynde
A hysterectomy.


Peter Marshall
James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was “one of the best things I ever did.” What was it?

Marty Allen
Rhonda Fleming.


Peter Marshall
Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

Charley Weaver
His feet.


Peter Marshall
Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very important. What?

Paul Lynde
An engagement ring.


Peter Marshall
According to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than drinking. What?

Charley Weaver
Not drinking.


Peter Marshall
When the Lone Ranger finished with a case, he left something behind. What?

Paul Lynde
A masked baby.


Peter Marshall
True or false: Some African Watusi tribesmen greet guests by running toward them at full speed, then high-jumping over them.

Charley Weaver
This is sometimes terribly embarrassing to tall guests.


Peter Marshall
You’re on your first visit to Japan and you head right for the Kabuki. Why?

Paul Lynde
It was a long plane ride.


Peter Marshall
If you’re going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?

Charley Weaver
Three days of steady drinking should do it.


Peter Marshall
Do female frogs croak?

Paul Lynde
If you hold their little heads under water.


Peter Marshall
You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

Don Knotts
That’s what’s been keeping me awake.


Peter Marshall
Is there any such thing as an F cup in bra sizes?

Paul Lynde
Yes, it sleeps four.


Peter Marshall
True or false: Many people sleep better in their street clothes than they do in their pajamas.

Paul Lynde
Yes. We call them winos.


Peter Marshall
According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?

Paul Lynde
No. You should dress warmly.


Peter Marshall
According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy?

Paul Lynde
Where can I get some?


Peter Marshall
Your baby has a certain object that he loves to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit?

Joan Rivers
Yes. It’s daddy’s turn.


Peter Marshall
Do we get heat from stars?

Paul Lynde
You will if I have to share my dressing room again.


Peter Marshall
In what state was Abraham Lincoln born?

Paul Lynde
Naked and screaming like the rest of us.


Peter Marshall
Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?

Paul Lynde
Yes, but he still won't go up your apartment.


Peter Marshall
According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married?

Rose Marie
No, wait until morning.


Peter Marshall
Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

Charley Weaver
My sense of decency.


Peter Marshall
In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?

Vincent Price
No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.


Peter Marshall
Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man. What did he give us?

Paul Lynde
I don't know what you got, but I got a sports shirt.


Peter Marshall
What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "Can't Get Enough"?

George Gobel
I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.


Peter Marshall
As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?

Rose Marie
You ask me one more "growing older" question Peter and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!


Peter Marshall
According to Zsa Zsa, does black look sexy on a woman?

Redd Foxx
I wouldn't have it any other way.


Peter Marshall
If you find someone lying unconscious in the street, should you do anything?

George Goebel
I'd probably crawl around him I guess.


Peter Marshall
Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

Paul Lynde
Because chiffon wrinkles too easily?


Peter Marshall
Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?

Charley Weaver
Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!


Peter Marshall
In bowling, what's a perfect score?

Rose Marie
Ralph, the pin boy.


Peter Marshall
Eddie, according to the Institute of Motivational Research, a wife should beware if another woman takes an interest in a certain item of her husband's clothing. What item?

Ed Asner
Well, shorts immediately springs to my mind.


Peter Marshall
True or false: A pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

George Gobel
Sometimes it sure seems that way...


Peter Marshall
Is there a weight limit for bags on airline flights in this country?

Charley Weaver
If she can fit under the seat, she can fly.


Peter Marshall
During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

Rose Marie
Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.


Peter Marshall
Can boys join the campfire girls?

Marty Allen
Only after lights out.


Peter Marshall
When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?

Paul Lynde
Make him bark.


Peter Marshall
True or false: George, experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant.

George Gobel
Yes, and I think I voted for six of 'em.


Peter Marshall
If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

Paul Lynde
Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.


Peter Marshall
According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

Charley Weaver
It got me out of the army!


Peter Marshall
Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy?

Paul Lynde
Why, that bitch!


Peter Marshall
While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting, "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean?

George Goebel
Cattle crossing.


Peter Marshall
It is the most abused and neglected part of your body-what is it?

Paul Lynde
Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!


Peter Marshall
Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?

Charley Weaver
A divorcee.


Peter Marshall
Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

George Gobel
Get it in his mouth.


Peter Marshall
Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

Paul Lynde
Who told you about my elephant?


Peter Marshall Why do sheep sleep huddled together?
Paul Lynde Because Little Boy Blue's a wierdo!

Peter Marshall
Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb, can you detect light?

Paul Lynde
Only during ballet practice.




Peter Marshall
It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?

Paul Lynde
Tape measures.




Peter Marshall
Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

Marty Allen
Only after lights out.

Microsoft's PA for the Windows 8.1 phone is called Cortana? Seriously?

Now I know about Microsoft and HALO and all, but I like my video game references a little more oscure, a little rougher around the edges, and a little more retro. So please, could the next corp that makes a phone PA call it eiter GLaDOS (for the young) or SHODAN (for us old geezers and geezerettes)?

Or, if you want to do me a personal favor, give it a male voice and call it CABAL or EVR.

Personally, I'd love a SHODAN!!