I guess the biggest problem with being dead is that one really doesn't know what to do next. Once burnt twice shy, I'm sure some ancient dickwad once wrote. Alas, it appears that in order to raise oneself like a pheonix and become not-shy once again one has to stand oneself infront of a flamethrower on a daily basis. So, from the initial assessment, we have two polar opposites from which to choose - that of the silent lurker or that of the perpetual fireball. And, to be honest, I'm not really sure that either option would be conducive to something I would call an enjoyable internet experience. What I tend to like, you see, is an environment of balance and logic. Insane, I know. I mean, even in the deep silence and solitude of death one still gets affronted by maggots slowly nibbling away at all your best bits like an overly-obsessive troll and you still feel the piss of a passing drunkard trickle down your forehead, but it all, at least, has the merit of making some kind of sense.
I suppose another option would be to make some loud and clumpy noises whenever I hear the whisping trail of a necromancer's robe pass by overhead, encouraging them to start with something that already has some semblance of life left in it. Everyone likes things to be a bit easier, I don't see why a necromancer should be any different. I could then rise like the pheonix, reborn and rejuvenated, permanently numb to the pain of living tissue and free to write "euuurghhhhgggnnnnnnnn" on any thread I wanted, whenever I wanted. Then I remembered, zombies don't tend to react that well to fire based attacks, double damage if I remember correctly. So, while it's a very nice thought for me while I slowly rot down here, you know pass a few more seconds of infinity, it probably wouldn't be the most sensible course of action in practice. The first flame-war would see me straight back down, nose to the turf. And I wouldn't even get the pleasure of slowly and politely rotting somewhere, I'd likely be fully cremated. I couldn't think of anything more boring than floating around the atmosphere with not even enough combined cells to even have any consciousness that I was floating around the atmosphere.
But I digress. Or do I? I'm not sure about that. Let's just say that I am digested. Or rather, am being digested. I think I would like a forum where it would 'nice' (not that nice is the right word, nice is a really appalling word really, but I'm tired and my ankle itches and I can't reach it) if there was a forum which offered some form of balance between freedom of speech and nazi totalitarianism. Again, those appalling extremes. I'm not really faffed if someone thinks all Jews are this that or the other or all liberals are this that or the other. I think if someone is faffing about politics and religion too much on an RPG forum then it's highly likely that's the kind of person I can't be faffed reading. Not because I am either Jewish or liberal, because I'm not anything, what with being dead and all. Being dead makes one highly dubious of anyone's protestations about what is the best way to lead ones life. Not that I don't deny someone's freedom to wax obvious troll (or even genuine retardation) but that, from my perspective, politics and religion are quite possibly the furthest subject imaginable from the concept of RPGs.
For me, you see, the RPG has no relation to the here and now and that if the RPG does have a relation to the here and now, it's highly likely that I will have no interest in playing it. One of the key elements for the RPG concept, for me, you see, is that wonderful word fantasy. What makes an RPG truly great for me is to be transported to, quite literally, a different 'existence'. On arrival I am greeted by everything familiar. I can make sense of the world because the world provides me with everything I am accustomed to - beer, chairs, humanoids, pointy sticks of pain, blunt sticks of even greater pain, gravestones, treasure chests (though I must admit to have never yet seeing a treasure chest in my regular reality, but am for some reason entirely comfortable with their familiarity), grassy knolls, people who stand in the exact same spot all day every day, people who pay you to do mundane and demeaning tasks, blah blah blah, and all the etcetera. But there's none of the bullshit. The first NPC you meet doesn't immediately say "fuck off you paki communist" and neither does the first NPC say "You said WHAT! Game over mate and don't ever come back you bastard". And, oddly enough, throughout the entirety of the game, no matter who you meet or what communications occur between you and others, you don't tend to get bogged down in horseshit. I have no doubt someone could make an RPG where you get bogged down in horseshit, but I certainly wouldn't play it. Even if it had Dragons and everything.
You have a word count limit? Oh well, two posts it is…
