Games for monkeys and the scourge

Sorry to pop your bubble, but I know better!!

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I really am Bubbles.

Korplem said:

But if we didn't have the divine controllers, how would we navigate up and down our gloriously linear LISTS? You've clearly been brainwashed by republicans and farm animals of various uses and sizes, because it has been known for ages that lists are how the gods speak to us.

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The gods do speak to use through lists, and here are their demands-

1) Controllers are for monkey idiots.
2) Anyone who plugs a controller in to a PC will burn in eternal hellfire because they hate science and equality and space age polymers.
3) No list is ever to be used as an inventory in a game on the pc. All pc games will have a civilized GUI. We gods use lists because we predate science and civilization and the future and space age polymers so we have no choice but to communicate like monkey cavemen savages using lists or, when we feel like it we can be a burning bush or a ray of light from the sky.
4) Though shalt anger all the stupids, since the hippy gods won't get on board killing them all outright.
5) Women are only allowed to ask one question per person per day. Unless that person is her get in which case she has no question limit.
6) Go forth and copulate.
7) Unless you join the Navy which is a tacit admission of liking it real good in the bum. We guess that is copulation too, but we gods just wanted to point that out.

est deus uult

1. I suppose you never saw a man who doesn't have all fingers. Or a man who can't move out of their bed. Or you believe those are monkey idiots.

2. We have a political (and religious) nonsense section on this forum. This is not it.
So next time, try here:
http://www.rpgwatch.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=9

3. Again, post that on official game boards. Not here. I believe I already suggested starting with Dragon Age Inquisition:
http://forum.bioware.com/forum/385-feedback-suggestions/
You scared to do it? Yea, I knew you are. I wasn't.

4. Point #2.

5. Point #2.

6. Point #2.

7. Point #2.

Unrestigered said:

I really am Bubbles.

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Hello Mr Bubbles!

Unrestigered said:

I really am Bubbles.



The gods do speak to use through lists, and here are their demands-

1) Controllers are for monkey idiots.
2) Anyone who plugs a controller in to a PC will burn in eternal hellfire because they hate science and equality and space age polymers.
3) No list is ever to be used as an inventory in a game on the pc. All pc games will have a civilized GUI. We gods use lists because we predate science and civilization and the future and space age polymers so we have no choice but to communicate like monkey cavemen savages using lists or, when we feel like it we can be a burning bush or a ray of light from the sky.
4) Though shalt anger all the stupids, since the hippy gods won't get on board killing them all outright.
5) Women are only allowed to ask one question per person per day. Unless that person is her get in which case she has no question limit.
6) Go forth and copulate.
7) Unless you join the Navy which is a tacit admission of liking it real good in the bum. We guess that is copulation too, but we gods just wanted to point that out.

est deus uult

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Your list has been edited. The original list sent to us from on high is as follows:

1) Controllers are for monkey idiots as well, because the gods love all gamers.
2) Anyone who plugs a controller in to a PC with malice in their heart will burn in eternal hellfire because they hate science and equality and space age polymers. Controllers are the result of much science.
3) No list is ever to be used in vain as an inventory in a game on the pc. All pc games will have a civilized list-based GUI. We gods use lists to communicate, even to the poor monkey cavemen savages or, when we feel like it we can be a burning bush or a ray of light from the sky.
4) Though shalt anger all the stupids, since the hippy gods won't get on board killing them all outright.
5) Women are only allowed to ask one question per person per day. Unless that person is her get in which case she has no question limit.
6) Go forth and copulate.
7) Unless you join the Navy which is a tacit admission of liking it real good in the bum. We guess that is copulation too, but we gods just wanted to point that out.

4 through 7 actually check out. Those are legit from the gods.

Moriendor said:

Alrik…. I know it's currently almost 40°C all over Germany but…. seriously?

Maybe wear a hat tomorrow?

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Sounds like a good idea, yes.

1. I suppose you never saw a man who doesn't have all fingers. Or a man who can't move out of their bed. Or you believe those are monkey idiots.

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I can’t think of a scenario where someone is missing fingers and a controller would be easier to use than a keyboard and mouse. I’m missing most of one digit and a good chunk of another on my left hand, and I roll over fully fingered stupids all the time in mmos. Do you know why they do not allow cross-platform in most games that have pvp? Because it isn’t even closs. Kbm just fucking destroys because it is civilization versus savagery. Kbm is like a 240b going up against savages using spears with stone heads. Science always wins.

Why can’t the person get out of bed? Are they too stupid to get out of bed? I can see if they are one of those super obese bedridden people why they would want (and I stress want) to use a controller, but as usual their intelligence, belief in science and equality, and how civilized they are would dictate if they use a controller like a fucking lazy-monkey savage idiot, or keyboard and mouse.

2. We have a political (and religious) nonsense section on this forum. This is not it.
So next time, try here:
http://www.rpgwatch.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=9

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No? But while we are talking about bullet 4 I’d like to share some advice with you. Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

3. Again, post that on official game boards. Not here. I believe I already suggested starting with Dragon Age Inquisition:
http://forum.bioware.com/forum/385-feedback-suggestions/
You scared to do it? Yea, I knew you are. I wasn't.

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I was going to and then I peed my pants in fright. It is just too scary. One would have to be exceptionally brave to post on the bioware forums; more brave than I. You, sir, are exceptionally brave and I'm so proud of you. So damn proud.

Unrestigered said:

No? But while we are talking about bullet 4 I’d like to share some advice with you. Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

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Sorry honey, most of the time I don't think about myself. Don't plan to change it, the earth doesn't move around me. But who knows, maybe it does around you.

Unrestigered said:

I was going to and then I peed my pants in fright. It is just too scary. One would have to be exceptionally brave to post on the bioware forums; more brave than I. You, sir, are exceptionally brave and I'm so proud of you. So damn proud.

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I guess that means you won't copypaste your own starting post from this thread onto Bioware forums.
Under your actual Origin nick. The one EA games are registered on.
Chicken.

Sorry honey, most of the time I don't think about myself. Don't plan to change it, the earth doesn't move around me. But who knows, maybe it does around you.

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Ah, yes, the Earth is a fickle beast.

I guess that means you won't copypaste your own starting post from this thread onto Bioware forums.
Under your actual Origin nick. The one EA games are registered on.
Chicken.

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I've never posted on the EA forums. I do not like EA or Bioware games. I liked Mass Effect despite it being a Bioware game. I liked Red Jenny despite her being in a Bioware game.

Bioware is a console developer that makes awful console games. I am not going to try and get them to change for me at the expense of their fans. I don't post on the Square Enix forums asking them to make games with comprehensible cut scenes that make sense and don't include blinking, or clothe the children in their games. I don't ask why the fuck Asian developers love riding chickens. Who the fuck wants to ride a chicken? Asians, they love that shit. Why would I try and ruin it for them by asking for a horse or a pony option?

I don't give two shits about the console games EA, Bioware, and Square Enix make because I like PC games, specifically crpgs. Real games made for real people who have intelligence and believe in science and equality. The only thing post related I want to do with EA and Bioware is send anthrax through the post office to them and all their fans so they die and are no more. That is it.

Post Script: I will not send anthrax through the mail to anybody. I would just like to. I don't know how to get anthrax and being a man of science and technology I do not mail things. I haven't mailed anything since 1982 when my school made me mail something. So even if I had anthrax, unless I could send it through the computer like my level of civilization dictates, I would not even bother mailing it through the real mail.

Unrestigered said:

I've never posted on the EA forums.

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Well, expect me to join the trolling there when you do.
Here… I'll just excuse myself from this thread and use the frontdoor.
Good luck.