Guy in Santa Barbara who killed a bunch of people because he could not find a girl

ManWhoJaped · May 25, 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFI9RXgm4zE

What a crazed lunatic. I grew up in a similar environment, and it gives me a laugh - guys like this has no chance on earth with these top of the line blonde beach girls.

Even guys like me who were fit and tall and handsome did not get whatever girl they wanted, far from it. Maybe one or two guys got all the girls fairly easily, the rest had to work and date a lot to find a girlfriend. Elsewise I'd be married to Michelle Pfeiffer now, who lived a couple blocks away :lol:

How could someone really have such delusional expectations? And how could you blame THEM about it? There's 3-4 billion women on the planet. You can find one who wants you, but you have to work at it. People seem to think they should just get things in life "just because", and this guy is just one of a million lonely nutjobs I see whining on the internet. Next up we will have sexual communism if this idiocy keeps up.

greywolf00 · May 25, 2014

My wife showed me that video earlier. Don't get me wrong, what he did is fucked up, but I couldn't help but laugh watching that video. That guy needed help, bad. Most people don't realize a lot of mental issues don't really popup till people hit their 20s. I'm sure we'll see more "gun control debate" instead of "mental healthcare debate" as always following these tragedies.

ManWhoJaped · May 25, 2014

greywolf00 said:
My wife showed me that video earlier. Don't get me wrong, what he did is fucked up, but I couldn't help but laugh watching that video. That guy needed help, bad. Most people don't realize a lot of mental issues don't really popup till people hit their 20s. I'm sure we'll see more "gun control debate" instead of "mental healthcare debate" as always following these tragedies.

I could probably read a LOT into this guy, he kind of sums up everything wrong with the country today, especially california.

1. He's the son of some hollywood producer, so no big surprise that he is a psycho who thinks he is entitled to everything under the sun.

2. The epitome of the lonely whining guy of today. Basically younger guys today by and large are whiny whimps who don't DO anything, then they wonder why they never get anything in return.

3. Another 'minority' in california beach city with a major complex about not measuring up to the perfect beauty ideal, hatefully jealous of everyone around them. Usually it's the girls who whine about 'impossible standards' but guys have this sort of reverse feeling of failure if they don't manage to grab the attention of the beautiful girls around them, but if you are typical skinny mexican guy or something like that you really have no hope.

4. And of course, the internet. I think this fuels people's delusions and self indulgence to an astronomical degree. Not only does porn give these guys crazy expectations but let's them wander into a fantasy world and skip by normal social interactions completely, which is just a recipe for disaster.

DArtagnan · May 25, 2014

Well, that, or maybe he's just an anomaly that's convenient as support for an exaggerated fantasy about how all young people are spoiled psychos.

zahratustra · May 25, 2014

JDR13 · May 25, 2014

So this guy went on a killing spree because he couldn't get laid? That's no excuse. After all, I don't see DArtagnan or Thrasher rampaging about.

DArtagnan · May 25, 2014

I prefer to take it out on Watch members

Drithius · May 25, 2014

I saw his video of proposed "retribution" yesterday - or at least 10-15 seconds of it; The guy was a delusional loser and I couldn't stand listening to his whiny babble. He should have offed himself long before he took out his misplaced angst on others.

Alrik Fassbauer · May 25, 2014

Aggression -> Outside
Depression = Aggression towards the inside

In the late 90s, during my late university time, I grew into aere depression.
I hated my body, I hated my self, because I thought that both my body and my self were the reason why I had no luck with girls, from school time to university time.

At one point my depression grew so strong that i couldn't do anything else but for months think about and making plans how to mot effectively end my life.

I surcvived because of different reasons, yet I never found relief. i found my first girlfriend when I in the thirties. And I still have my problems there.

A part of me grew bitter during school time, seeing how much girls were focused so much on a certain kind of boys. I was most certainly none of them. Plus, being bullied isn't a very appealing to girls anyway.

At one point during my teenage time I read the book "Why men are the way they are" by one Warren Farrell. I still consider this a "classic", even although it might be outdated by now. It explained SO MANY things I saw as a teenager but couldn't explain.

Psychology has improved in the recent years as well. It's a proven fact that girls & women prefer other kinds of guys when they are in their fertility period than outside of it.

I've been reading a LOT about the "nice guy" syndrome, I've been reading about that "seduction community".

And, there are expectations built up. What do you see in the media ? Only good-looking girls. Never not-so-good looking girls.
Lookism at it's best.
But : 90 % of all people dio not look that great. That's a fact. Time to let go ANY expectations.

Things have changed by now. I've basically given up hope, and I'm trying to make my life so comfortable now that I can live alone. which might or might not happen until the rest of my life.

A part of me will remain bitter until the end of my life. The feeling of being neglected, being pushed aside, being bullied, being socially expelled is a personal trauma of mine.
I will somewhat cope with it.

From what IO've been living through, my inner cynical part is somewhat able to understand that man. ( I didn't watch his video through, though.) But, I've always been depressive, never aggressive. That's the fundamental difference between him and me. I will always assume the reason for getting a brush-off with me, I never assume that there's a reason on the outside.

My best friends say wha<t a good man I am, and they really hope that I'll find a girl-friend one day. Well, that's great. having that kind of support, that is. But it is of no practical use for me.

Once I made this "proverb" : "If they don't like me unconfident, then they don't deserve me being confident." If woman wants me - well, it's their decision, not mine. They might not know what they are missing (if there actually is anything to miss).

Nowdays, I'm in an "occdupational rehabilitation". Best thing is : Everyone there knows that "we" are all freaks. Everyone there got there because of some illness, be it mentally or of the body. there is nothing to hide anymore.
For me, that's ideal. I do not need to pretend that I have never had depressions or sociophobia. There, I'm free to admit it. and, best thing is : I will be accepted. As I am now. As a freak.
Maybe I might find a girl-friend there. Freaks + freaks.

joxer · May 25, 2014

Alrik, why did you post that publically?
Because we don't know you in RL? But thanks, it's hard to see someone opens up like that.
Usually it happens you're looking for that someone in the wrong place(s). Change your daily routine. Go for a coffee somewhere you've never been before for example. Just one thing I'll say: you're not a freak.

On the topic, oh another murderer breaks the news? Sorry guys, I'll skip it. Just not interested.
Any word on cure for cancer?

HiddenX · May 25, 2014

@Alrik: the most important person that should accept you, ... is:
You - Yes, Mr. Alrik himself. You are not a freak, no men is.
If you are able to accept yourself, at this moment you get the self-assurance and grow in confidence back to step by step appeal to others again, get friends etc.
Life will be fun again (at least sometimes)

ManWhoJaped · May 25, 2014

DArtagnan said:
I prefer to take it out on Watch members

No kidding.

zahratustra · May 25, 2014

joxer said:
Usually it happens you're looking for that someone in the wrong place(s). Change your daily routine. Go for a coffee somewhere you've never been before for example.

That's an excellent advise Alric. You have to start frequenting places where your chances of meeting somebody will be increased. Join a debating society, amateur dramatics or a line dancing class - I'm half joking here but it should give you an idea what I'm talking about.

ManWhoJaped · May 25, 2014

Alrik Fassbauer said:
Aggression -> Outside
Depression = Aggression towards the inside

In the late 90s, during my late university time, I grew into aere depression.
I hated my body, I hated my self, because I thought that both my body and my self were the reason why I had no luck with girls, from school time to university time.

At one point my depression grew so strong that i couldn't do anything else but for months think about and making plans how to mot effectively end my life.

I surcvived because of different reasons, yet I never found relief. i found my first girlfriend when I in the thirties. And I still have my problems there.

A part of me grew bitter during school time, seeing how much girls were focused so much on a certain kind of boys. I was most certainly none of them. Plus, being bullied isn't a very appealing to girls anyway.

At one point during my teenage time I read the book "Why men are the way they are" by one Warren Farrell. I still consider this a "classic", even although it might be outdated by now. It explained SO MANY things I saw as a teenager but couldn't explain.

Psychology has improved in the recent years as well. It's a proven fact that girls & women prefer other kinds of guys when they are in their fertility period than outside of it.

I've been reading a LOT about the "nice guy" syndrome, I've been reading about that "seduction community".

And, there are expectations built up. What do you see in the media ? Only good-looking girls. Never not-so-good looking girls.
Lookism at it's best.
But : 90 % of all people dio not look that great. That's a fact. Time to let go ANY expectations.

Things have changed by now. I've basically given up hope, and I'm trying to make my life so comfortable now that I can live alone. which might or might not happen until the rest of my life.

A part of me will remain bitter until the end of my life. The feeling of being neglected, being pushed aside, being bullied, being socially expelled is a personal trauma of mine.
I will somewhat cope with it.

From what IO've been living through, my inner cynical part is somewhat able to understand that man. ( I didn't watch his video through, though.) But, I've always been depressive, never aggressive. That's the fundamental difference between him and me. I will always assume the reason for getting a brush-off with me, I never assume that there's a reason on the outside.

My best friends say wha<t a good man I am, and they really hope that I'll find a girl-friend one day. Well, that's great. having that kind of support, that is. But it is of no practical use for me.

Once I made this "proverb" : "If they don't like me unconfident, then they don't deserve me being confident." If woman wants me - well, it's their decision, not mine. They might not know what they are missing (if there actually is anything to miss).

Nowdays, I'm in an "occdupational rehabilitation". Best thing is : Everyone there knows that "we" are all freaks. Everyone there got there because of some illness, be it mentally or of the body. there is nothing to hide anymore.
For me, that's ideal. I do not need to pretend that I have never had depressions or sociophobia. There, I'm free to admit it. and, best thing is : I will be accepted. As I am now. As a freak.
Maybe I might find a girl-friend there. Freaks + freaks.

Well, emotions are not really your friend but your enemy. I don't mean this to be insulting because it's not just you, but I think all the plastics and other endocrine disruptors are mixing up men's brains to make them think in a more female kind of way.

The 'nice guy' crap is incredibly annoying because I don't think that's anything to do with it. Being needy is not being nice! Many or even most guys who claim this nonsense have very obvious flaws that are the real problem. Such as being entitled like the guy in the video, or like him he's just too skinny and wimpy and not white enough to attract the women he is unrealistically expecting. It's pure fantasy!

Emotions are not how men operate that's how women operate. You have to be practical and thick skinned. If you don't have these qualities not only will you be unable to succeed with women from the standpoint of putting the effort into it and solving the issues involved, those qualities in and of themselves are what women look for on an unconscious level.

So say the guy was right and the women he was talking about preferred some other guy who is 'less' than him. Say they are not as handsome, don't have as much nice stuff, aren't as witty, don't treat them as well as he (allegedly) would. Being feminine and weak is just not attractive.

It's not what a man needs to make it in the world! If you can't handle dangerous situation and remain calm, be rational when things are tense and all that, you are not what women are looking for.

Which is nothing to do with confidence or "meeting people" (probably dumbest advice possible). Basically that's female strategy, being sociable and trying to establish a 'relationship' is very female thinking. That does not work on the core issue though, that basic attraction. Which is part physical but also that you have the right attributes to survive and protect her.

ManWhoJaped · May 25, 2014

Just think of disaster/horror movies. Are you the guy who has a plan? The guy who argues every second? The guy who goes along with the flow? The one who whines and is slightly panicked?

Which one do you think women are going to be attracted to?!

Obviously the guy in the video has some of all the bad attributes and would be the guy who you have to kill at some point because he does something incredibly stupid when he doesn't get his way.

xep624 · May 26, 2014

@ Alrik Fassbauer

Very intimate post, I admire your courage to be so open about your life your feelings. I hope that things will get better and that in the meantime you will look for the girl/woman with hope and that you won't end up as a grumpy old man. And I also admire those who can accept their fate as it is - maybe because I know that I will end up as an old single guy - instead of wasting their energy to chase something that is not meant for them (i.e. creating a sad family and divorcing later on). If you had some issues with accepting your body maybe try some sports - I was the least fit guy in my highschool but then in my thirties started to run, box and swim and I even did a marathon (3:53 for 42.2 km).
Life is always full of possibilities and challenges and I hope that you will enjoy yours more!
All the best in Real Life!

JemyM · May 26, 2014

DArtagnan said:
Well, that, or maybe he's just an anomaly that's convenient as support for an exaggerated fantasy about how all young people are spoiled psychos.

This.

I should have something interesting to say about him. After all, I study the psychology of extremism for a living. Yet my conclusion mirror the same conclusion I draw from Breivik.

A statistical anomaly.

There's no pattern. No signs. No explanations. Because it's so exceptional that we cannot learn anything from it.

DArtagnan · May 26, 2014

As far as I can tell from this case - and from what I know of Breivik - they were both quite isolated for extended periods, which can be a dangerous breeding ground for skewed perceptions of reality.

If you prefer the (false) feeling of security you'll get by twisting reality until it supports your emotionally charged view of the world - then I'd say being isolated is a very unfortunate conduit for such a corrupt process.

While I'm not one to blame the parents as the kind of crutch some people like to use, I do think that a skewed and delusional perception of reality on this level - almost has to be shared - at whatever stage - by the people responsible for raising these poor human beings.

Difference being that most people get "enough" reality throughout their younger years, that the delusional state of mind becomes more of a personal choice, where the subconscious is fully aware that it's bullshit, at least on some level.

I've never understood people who can live with that kind of approach to life - but I've seen it more times than I care to remember.

It's one thing to make a personal choice to prefer bullshit to reality - but to deliver it unfiltered to those you're supposed to take care of crosses a line, in my opinion.

That said, this is all speculation and I have no idea what's been going on in the lives of these people.

ManWhoJaped · May 26, 2014

DArtagnan said:
As far as I can tell from this case - and from what I know of Breivik - they were both quite isolated for extended periods, which can be a dangerous breeding ground for skewed perceptions of reality.

Like some clown who posts on the internet all day? I ignored you bashing me once already, but it seems you support what I say at the same time.

DArtagnan said:
If you prefer the (false) feeling of security you'll get by twisting reality until it supports your emotionally charged view of the world - then I'd say being isolated is a very unfortunate conduit for such a corrupt process.

I actually thought of you specifically, then you try to turn it around on me like I am the crazy one :lol: I was not going to mention anyone specific because I see people who are worrying on EVERY SITE ON THE INTERNET. But it's a huge strawman to say I accused a whole generation of being crazy. That's not true in the least.

However, this guy is not some anomaly, either. He seems a lot less ridiculous in the video than people I see every single day whining about girls or about society or fascism/communism/obamacare/multiculturalism every day. If that video is proof of craziness then millions need to be locked up.

And also yes, obviously some posts even in this thread are worrying sign of how the way life has changed is not having a good effect on people.

DArtagnan said:
While I'm not one to blame the parents as the kind of crutch some people like to use, I do think that a skewed and delusional perception of reality on this level - almost has to be shared by the people responsible for raising these poor human beings.

Difference being that most people get "enough" reality throughout their younger years, that the delusional state of mind becomes more of a personal choice, where the subconscious is fully aware that it's bullshit, at least one some level.

I've never understood people who can live with that kind of approach to life - but I've seen it more times than I care to remember.

It's one thing to make a personal choice to prefer bullshit to reality - but to deliver it unfiltered to those you're supposed to take care of crosses a line, in my opinion.

That said, this is all speculation and I have no idea what's been going on in the lives of these people.

Life is not tv or a video game, but the issues I mentioned earlier makes it easy for people to become isolated and live in a dream world.

Jaz · May 26, 2014

Play nice, kids. No pinching and kicking each other, or I'll dump the thread in the P&R playground.

Guy in Santa Barbara who killed a bunch of people because he could not find a girl

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