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July 21st, 2008, 19:01
I've said it before and I'll say it again, these young lads just don't understand the pillar of evil that is "woman". They'll learn…

Sorry. No pearls of wisdom in this oyster.
Dallas Cowboys: Still afraid to hope / / Detroit Red Wings: Another rollercoaster season?
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July 21st, 2008, 20:22
Originally Posted by titus View Post
don't you see my avatar? I am a fighter but not a physical one. I am going to stay, I'm too curiuous too see what Cm will do?
Is she so mighty to make it rains frogs, or will it be just a torture? hehehe
Unfortunately when you see my avatar, it doesn't reflect my character -> I'm a fighter and a physical one. I feel like destroying something beautifull (From which movie does this quote come from)

so very, very tired (Star Trek XI quote according to the Simpsons)
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July 21st, 2008, 21:00
I have no idea of wich movie your qoute comes from.

I have to admit too, I am not a big guy or anything but I can handle a fight if I have too

This is my way of the Ninja: I never take back my word
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July 21st, 2008, 21:28
From Fight Club, yes?
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July 22nd, 2008, 13:03
Originally Posted by Toaster View Post
From Fight Club, yes?
Indeed! I don't really like that movie, but that scene left an impression on me.

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence—a life sentence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring

so very, very tired (Star Trek XI quote according to the Simpsons)
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July 22nd, 2008, 15:41
@Bart- Fight Club is a brilliant movie!

Dear NapiSan

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have!
I've used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mum told me it was the best.

Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stopped and got a tub of Napisan OxyAction with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well, that some detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and then my lawyer said that I would no longer be considered a suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Glad Wrap people…

Signed,
Relieved Menopausal Wife

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

When I have had a bad day, I only have to think of chicken cat and I can put my problems in perspective
.
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July 22nd, 2008, 18:10
A rather old joke and unlikely to happen in your family Kayla. From other posts it's just to clear that you absolutely love your man. It's more of a Cm joke. I never heard her talking about a lovely husband.

so very, very tired (Star Trek XI quote according to the Simpsons)
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July 23rd, 2008, 11:34
It's just a cover so if something does happen I'm not a suspect.

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

When I have had a bad day, I only have to think of chicken cat and I can put my problems in perspective
.
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July 23rd, 2008, 18:06
Originally Posted by Kayla View Post
It's just a cover so if something does happen I'm not a suspect.
Always good to cover your rear, my dear—it took me a bit to figure out Napisan was a detergent and not a Japanese man in diapers, but then I got it.

On the aging theme:
  • I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
  • Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
  • Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?
  • I've sure gotten old.! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license
  • An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
  • My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
  • Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
  • I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.
  • It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker
  • These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
  • Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

Where there's smoke, there's mirrors.
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July 23rd, 2008, 20:01
I think Cm wrote most of those!!

If God said it, then that settles it!!

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July 23rd, 2008, 20:29
We know she's lived them at least. Not to mention the two of us.

Where there's smoke, there's mirrors.
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July 24th, 2008, 10:55
Originally Posted by magerette View Post
Always good to cover your rear, my dear
How much cover is needed for that?

so very, very tired (Star Trek XI quote according to the Simpsons)
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July 24th, 2008, 12:25
I always say "tarpaulin" whenever anyone says cover you ass.

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

When I have had a bad day, I only have to think of chicken cat and I can put my problems in perspective
.
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July 24th, 2008, 13:15
Originally Posted by Kayla View Post
I always say "tarpaulin" whenever anyone says cover you ass.
How many other people can sleep under it?

so very, very tired (Star Trek XI quote according to the Simpsons)
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July 26th, 2008, 01:12
Bart, you never try to sleep under someones………oh you meant the tarp.

As to the above joke about aging, my only addition is to say that I got short changed when God was doing his job. All my parts were used when I got them and it has been down hill from there.

Bart and Corwin should just admit that when it gets down to it, I will have the final say.
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July 26th, 2008, 08:54
@Cm- I know what you mean, I look at my two older sisters and think "so they got the good genes and I got the faulty ones that were left when it came time for me". Pretty crappy how someone can get ripped off.

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

When I have had a bad day, I only have to think of chicken cat and I can put my problems in perspective
.
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July 26th, 2008, 11:40
Hey, hey, cheer up ladies. I'm sure you two look alright. Perhaps not like Jaz, but we men are not all Brad Pitts neither.

so very, very tired (Star Trek XI quote according to the Simpsons)
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July 26th, 2008, 15:03
I know, I'm not like circus freak weird looking or anything like that, but I think if I was in a room with 200 women and a group of men rated the group I wouldn't be feeling great about myself. Lucky I'm an antisocial cow who believes a bit of brains and loyalty are more important than looks… and I know all men aren't Brad Pitt, because if my man was Brad I'd be Angelina and I would be looking in the mirror and thinking happy thoughts…. or if I wasn't Angelina and still looked like me I would probably be destined to be the strange cat lady of the neighbourhood.

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

When I have had a bad day, I only have to think of chicken cat and I can put my problems in perspective
.
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July 26th, 2008, 20:34
Here are a few words of wisdom from Larry the Cable Guy:
1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember — if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound.. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.



I like #21 myself.

Bart and Corwin should just admit that when it gets down to it, I will have the final say.
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July 26th, 2008, 23:10
Yes, and we know why!!

If God said it, then that settles it!!

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