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Default Return of the Daily Smile

October 10th, 2008, 02:01
Originally Posted by Cm View Post
News Flash………..

Bart may be missing for a while. He was last seen being forcefully dragged down several threads into the Barn..

Updates on his condition are not available at this time….

More to come……
Then Cm doesn't remember what she was doing an just set me free. That's what old age does to you: you forget to take revenge

so very, very tired (Star Trek XI quote according to the Simpsons)
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October 14th, 2008, 15:50
Thoughts for the day. (Did you notice? No Bart?)

1. If you are too open minded, your brains fall out.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to a church doesn't make you religious any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. It isn't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Bart and Corwin should just admit that when it gets down to it, I will have the final say.
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October 15th, 2008, 04:03
Some more (and random) thoughts:


Always remember you're unique…just like everyone else.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

In theory, practise and theory are the same. In practise, they're not.

Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement.

Don’t believe everything you think.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

And my favourite: Eschew obfuscation!
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October 15th, 2008, 05:47
The second last one describes Cm perfectly, and probably Magerette too!!

If God said it, then that settles it!!

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October 16th, 2008, 03:30
I know this has been posted before but I always get a smile from it.

The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this!
Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

Comments are listed in the following order:
DANGEROUS
SAFER
SAFEST
ULTRA SAFE


What's for dinner?
Can I help you with dinner?
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Here, have some wine.


Are you wearing that?
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
WOW! Look at you!
Here, have some wine


What are you so worked up about?
Could we be overreacting?
Here's my paycheck.
Here, have some wine.


Should you be eating that?
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Here, have some wine.


What did you DO all day?
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
I've always loved you in that robe!
Here, have some wine.

Bart and Corwin should just admit that when it gets down to it, I will have the final say.
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October 16th, 2008, 07:16
I'll drink to that!! So long as it's Red.

If God said it, then that settles it!!

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October 16th, 2008, 14:30
List of signs: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/pi…e-week-20.html

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction. (E.F.Schumacher, Economist, Source)
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October 27th, 2008, 15:21
The Zipper

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she
reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would
give her enough slack to raise her leg She tried to take the step, only
To discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to
unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the
Step.

Once again, much to her surprise, she could not raise her leg With a
little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little
More and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Kentuckian who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, 'How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!'

The Kentuckian smiled and drawled, 'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends.

Bart and Corwin should just admit that when it gets down to it, I will have the final say.
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October 27th, 2008, 21:59
Name of a Mr. Hitler sought:

http://www.900r.de/werwirdmillionaer.jpg

I actually can't say whether this is real or not.

But it looks quite weird. I mean option D.

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction. (E.F.Schumacher, Economist, Source)
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October 28th, 2008, 15:35
GOTTA LOVE LITTLE BOYS

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?'
'Eight,' the boy replied.
The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'
The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me.
They're for him. He's my brother. He's four.
We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one.'

Bart and Corwin should just admit that when it gets down to it, I will have the final say.
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October 28th, 2008, 16:39
Pac Man - what the game really was about

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October 28th, 2008, 18:06
Originally Posted by Alrik Fassbauer View Post
Name of a Mr. Hitler sought:

http://www.900r.de/werwirdmillionaer.jpg

I actually can't say whether this is real or not.

But it looks quite weird. I mean option D.
It's a fake: first of all that program doesn't exist anymore in Belgium and secondly, Leterme is actually quite smart -> He followed 2 courses at university at the same time. I don't see many people do that.
Some people just try to ridicule him because he made a bad joke (He says he just made an unintentional mistake, but I don't believe that) with the so called national anthem of Belgium in French (singing the French one)

Still for me it's now, screw Leterme -> When you made a clear promise not to form a government without splitting B-H-V and a big step towards federalisation, you just can't do that without being ridiculed. I hope he doesn't get one vote anymore, that filty liar.

so very, very tired (Star Trek XI quote according to the Simpsons)
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October 28th, 2008, 18:36
I agree with you Bartacus. He haslos my vote too. The only one who kept his word was NVA .
At least they had the nerve too split it up when hey saw that this was going to lead nowhere

This is my way of the Ninja: I never take back my word
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October 29th, 2008, 14:09
This thread is about the 'daily smile' guys, not politics.

Computer n. A machine which flawlessly performs the instructions it is given, no matter how flawed those instructions may be.
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October 29th, 2008, 14:47
Here I was, all a-drool to see what a joke from Myrthos would look like, and he's just delivering some smackdown.
——————-
A hypnotist agrees to do a show at a nursing home. All the residents come to the cafeteria, and he begins.
"I have here a mystical watch that has been in my family for 6 generations. With it, I can hypnotize every one of you without fail and you will do as I command."
He begins to swing his watch and gently talk to his audience. Within moments, every one of them are completely under.
"Raise your right hand." 103 hands and 1 stump (Stinky Joe had an unfortunate accident with a knife) fly into the air.
"Keep looking at the swinging watch and bark like a dog." It sounds like the city animal shelter.
"Keep looking at the swinging watch."
Suddenly, the watch slipped out of his hand, fell to the ground, and broke into a million pieces.
"AW, SHIT!"
—————————
Is it sexual harassment if a dwarf tells you your hair smells nice?

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October 29th, 2008, 15:04
sorry got slipped away :$
Funny thing:
try to beat your right foot:

if you are sitting behind your desk, lift your right foot and draw circles with it clockwise.

after that also try to draw a 6 with your finger.

Your reight foot turns the other way

Tried it myself. Couldn't beat it

This is my way of the Ninja: I never take back my word
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October 29th, 2008, 15:06
@dte It's a good thing for those people with constipation problems.

so very, very tired (Star Trek XI quote according to the Simpsons)
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November 1st, 2008, 19:33
This is Creepy!!

Think of a letter between A and W.

Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.

Keep going . . .
Don't stop .. ..

Think of an Animal That begins With that letter.

Repeat it out loud as you Scroll down.

Think of either a
man's/woman's name that begins
With the last letter
In the animals name.

Almost There……..

Now count out The letters in that name On the fingers of the hand You are not using to Scroll down.

Take the hand you counted with And hold it out In front of you At face level.

Look at your Palm very closely
And notice the Lines in your Hand.

Do the lines Take the form of the
First letter in the person's name?!










Of course not……

Now TAKE THAT HAND AND smack the **** out of yourself, stop crying, and quit playing stupid computer games like this one!

Bart and Corwin should just admit that when it gets down to it, I will have the final say.
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November 4th, 2008, 09:54


From www.engrish.com.
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November 5th, 2008, 22:58
Oh, BEEP.

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction. (E.F.Schumacher, Economist, Source)
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