Return of the Daily Smile

I'd ask Cm to comment on those, but I understand that she can't remember back that far!!

Cm grabs a very wrinkled Corwin and drags him down a few threads to the Barn to be dealt with later…………as he is now FIRST on that list she was making…….

Good ones Dte….and the shooting part is true…..as we age we find the fastest resolution to any argument is just eliminate the opposition as quickly as possible. Life is too short to waste on "small talk".

Read this yesterday :

"What are Vegetarians ?"
"They are pople who buy their sausage at the greengrocery's".

Fable of the porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions even though they gave off heat to each other.

After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. This way they learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the best is when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.

The Moral of the story:
LEARN TO LOVE THE PRICKS IN YOUR LIFE.

Since I've already lost all credibility due to my tastes in MMOs, I might as well show you this MS Office commercial.

I found it funny, the part about the death of a not particularly dear friend. The other parts are perhaps not that funny.

Maybe this should be posted under the politically incorrect thread?

That was great. I did like Clippy until he kept popping up all the time asking me if I wanted to do something else…

A long time ago, when I my oldest used search in WinXp for the first time, she discovered the nice (NOT!) little doggie in the search app. Her immediate reaction was: "That on has to go!". Then I knew she REALLY was my daughter!

Digging to a depth of 1,000 meters last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1,000 years. The French came to the conclusion that their ancestors had a telephone network centuries ago.
Not to be outdone by the French, English scientists dug to a depth of 2,000 meters. Shortly thereafter headlines in the UK newspapers read: 'English archaeologists have found traces of a 2,000-year-old fiber-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the French.

One week later, Israeli newspapers reported the following: 'After digging as deep as 5,000 meters in a Jerusalem marketplace, they found absolutely nothing. They thus concluded that 5,000 years ago Jews were using wireless!

My reply to that would be that fiber optic is more advanced compared to wireless (much higher troughput), but that's to technical for a joke :-)

I'll save the politics and we'll focus on the fun.

GREAT !

Joke of the day:
Thrasher and DTE agree on something

Originally Posted by dteowner
I'll save the politics and we'll focus on the fun.

That was funny.

(Put any country names in you like.)

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs.
She didn't know how to put forward her request,
so, in desperation, she clucked like a chicken
and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.
Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts,
again she didn't know how to say it,
so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned
her blouse to show the butcher her breasts.
The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day,
the poor lady needed to buy sausages.
Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store…






(Please scroll down.)











What were you Thinking?





Her husband speaks English!

I worry about you Sometimes!

I ran into a group of men trying to take an old lady's purse and decided it was my duty to help out. She was a tough old broad, but in the end we got her purse.

Three elderly are sitting on a bench. One 70, one 80 and one 90 year old.
The youngest says: "Every morning I wake up at 8 and I need to pee, but it takes me 20 or even 30 minutes for the whole ordeal".
The 80-year old then replies: "You think that's bad? Every morning I wake up at 9 and need to pee and shit. It takes me a whole hour and sometimes even more".
Then the 90-year old laughs and says: "I pee at 8, shit at 9, but wake up at 10!"

No comment necessary…

Really weird plumage on that bird.

A social worker from N.Y. recently transferred to the northern part of the Appalasian Mountains.
A small community was on the first tour of her new territory
when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life..

Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. 'Anybody home?' she asked.
'Yep,' came a kid's voice through the door.
'Is your father there?' asked the social worker..
'Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,' said the kid.
'Well, is your mother there?' persisted the social worker.
'Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,' said the kid.



'But,' protested the social worker, 'are you never together as a family?'





'Sure, but not here,' said the kid through the door……. 'This is the Outhouse!'

Ah, more tales from Cm's past!!