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Default Return of the Daily Smile

February 4th, 2014, 11:14
When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'
[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]
Try this out:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favourite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that, in small print, there is a statement: ''Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is Personally Tested and then sanitized''.

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.

pibbur who doesn't work at said department, but is not necessarily happy because of that.

d++a58e++TU4567'!S'!89!A!WM!LuC++++u+++uF+++nR——nS ++++wC—-o++++wS——uLB++++
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February 4th, 2014, 11:15
Once again, you bring happy images to the Watch Pib!
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February 5th, 2014, 04:34
Best laugh I've had in a week and I AM retired!!

If God said it, then that settles it!!

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February 5th, 2014, 07:50
Originally Posted by pibbur who View Post

pibbur who doesn't work at said department, but is not necessarily happy because of that.
pibbur who IS happy that he doesn't have any 2nd hand thermometers from J&J.

d++a58e++TU4567'!S'!89!A!WM!LuC++++u+++uF+++nR——nS ++++wC—-o++++wS——uLB++++
Last edited by pibbur who; February 5th, 2014 at 11:53.
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February 5th, 2014, 09:23
Oh dear, hahaha!
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February 5th, 2014, 11:17
The image it brings to mind is problematic!
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February 8th, 2014, 15:53
Self-produced (came into my mind this morning) :

In earlier times, the very first program a programmer did was named "Hello World".
Nowadays, it is called "Hello NSA".

“ Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction.“ (E.F.Schumacher, Economist, Source)
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February 8th, 2014, 17:47
Originally Posted by Alrik Fassbauer View Post
In earlier times, the very first program a programmer did was named "Hello World".
Nowadays, it is called "Hello NSA".
That actually made me chuckle.

"Mystery is important. To know everything, to know the whole truth, is dull. There is no magic in that. Magic is not knowing, magic is wondering about what and how and where." ~ Cortez, from The Longest Journey
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February 8th, 2014, 21:51
Nice!
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March 7th, 2014, 17:13
Just a little food for thought.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.

Bart and Corwin should just admit that when it gets down to it, I will have the final say.
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March 7th, 2014, 20:50

“ Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction.“ (E.F.Schumacher, Economist, Source)
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March 13th, 2014, 08:36
I found this one somewhat amusing. Don't know if it's true, looks like something you could find in Reader's Digest (except for the swearing part, I assume):

A crowded United Airlines flight was cancelled.

A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk front. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I am sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: "May I have your attention, please," she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "F*** you!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that, too."

pibbur who thinks he knows who he is. And who he's not.

d++a58e++TU4567'!S'!89!A!WM!LuC++++u+++uF+++nR——nS ++++wC—-o++++wS——uLB++++
Last edited by pibbur who; March 13th, 2014 at 08:53.
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March 20th, 2014, 17:37
While hitting youtube, this ad popped up. Yes, it's a little juvenile, but the actress' delivery is just so perfect that it ends up being pretty darn funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY

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March 20th, 2014, 18:32
I agree - incredibly well made.

“ Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction.“ (E.F.Schumacher, Economist, Source)
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March 23rd, 2014, 14:12
From the SWTOR forums :

Rumor has it odd numbers are cannibalistic. No other way to explain why Seven eight Nine.

“ Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction.“ (E.F.Schumacher, Economist, Source)
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March 30th, 2014, 17:50
Today, sonny drew our family's Star Wars p&p roleplaying group with chalk on my mother's garden tool shed. It made ME smile, at least :

Can you guess which of the three characters belongs to son, dad and mom, respectively (and what type of character they are)?

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March 31st, 2014, 10:57
One has an antenna, so I guess he or she meant to be Boba Fett - but I've never seen a red one so far.

The rest - I have no clue at all.

Green one could be Leia, because of the long braid.

“ Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction.“ (E.F.Schumacher, Economist, Source)
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March 31st, 2014, 17:01
Haha, nice try, Alrik, but these are real pen & paper RPG characters (should I have said that? And that we play in the Clone Wars era?) and thus not characters from the movies.

'Red Boba Fett' is actually our rogue pilot Masumi (my husband's character). He wears his loot from one of our earlier missions - a set of Mandalorian armor he painted red, so it was a pretty good guess. Note the flamethrower …
Next in line is Chipper (my character, actually), an ARF trooper in a set of desert camo armor (just google 'Geonosis' and 'ARF' and you'll see the resemblance . )
Last in line is Lina, a Padawan student of the Force - she's my son's character. She holds her own lightsaber (green) and a Sith lightsaber she took from an enemy. Note her leg wound … yes, it's actually a leg wound an not a chalk smear .

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April 1st, 2014, 16:56
Too cute…we need a new pic of Sonny. It has been a while.

Bart and Corwin should just admit that when it gets down to it, I will have the final say.
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April 1st, 2014, 20:22
Well, there you go … Pork Trooper Carl .
Attached Images
File Type: jpg pork.jpg (81.6 KB, 29 views)

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