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RPGWatch Forums » General Forums » Politics, Religion & other Controversies » Should there be love and marriage for all people (over legal age)?

Default Should there be love and marriage for all people (over legal age)?

September 6th, 2007, 10:46
Marriage is an artificial bond (not natural) and the tradition is quite outdated. Old values does not really hold up in the modern everchanging culture. To many, marriage a faery tale, a fragile dream. They get married for the wrong reasons. When reality shatter their illusions they divorce.

The only way to keep a marriage is to marry for the right reasons and that's love that endured the first years and developed into a long lasting friendship. Marriage based on sex, babies, fresh new love, faerytales and illusions about the perfect mate will probably not last.

With the amount of people who marry for the wrong reasons, state laws should not take marriage seriously.
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September 6th, 2007, 10:48
How many of those change their mind about the marriage and just want out as opposed to those that drift and don't relate anymore, opposed to infidelity, abuse or fundamental life goal differences (eg. one person desperately wants to have kids and the other doesn't). The divorce rate may be high but I would prefer to live in a society where I have an out if the relationship turns bad and is not able to be fixed than to suffer in silence and just tolerate my lot in life. I stay with my partner because he makes me happy and we work well together, if that changed we would talk, if that failed we'd do councilling, if that failed we would need to look at other options. I do not take divorce lightly at all, but sometimes it is better to leave while you still have a change of rebuilding your life and move on, whether you are married or de facto.

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

When I have had a bad day, I only have to think of chicken cat and I can put my problems in perspective
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September 6th, 2007, 10:54
Prime Junta wrote:

41 percent of first marriages end in divorce.
60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.
So the verdict is—don't get married! Stay happily 'unofficially related' (Yes, I know—no statistics on those who just stop living together—still, it's a sobering group of figures and indicates saying so doesn't necessarily make it so…)

Those are some scary statistics. It's really strange—my first marriage(young and foolish) lasted 4 years—2nd(older and more stubborn)—8 years, 3rd(current )—16 years going on eternity—so I would have assumed the figures to be the exact opposite.

I guess practice doesn't help with this one.

Where there's smoke, there's mirrors.
Last edited by magerette; September 6th, 2007 at 10:57. Reason: add quoted post
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September 6th, 2007, 11:02
I guess the problem with the statistics is a lot of people who divorce don't marry again because they don't want to get hurt again or they feel free and want to spend time as a single person to recapture who they re and spend their life doing what they want, and not what their life was with their partner. People are even less likely to do it again after going through divorce twice, and the people who open themselve up to love and marriage three times would be a rare species indeed. To not become bitter, afraid of rejection or pain, and to go into a new relationship, develop the relationship and agree the marry again would be something few people would have the courage to do.

It's like if you get hammered and projectile vomit and wake up with the mother of all hang overs the next morning when you go out drinking for the first time. You would be less likely to go on a bender again. If the second time you went drinking the same thing happened I could understand never touching alcohol again.

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

When I have had a bad day, I only have to think of chicken cat and I can put my problems in perspective
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September 6th, 2007, 11:19
Originally Posted by JemyM View Post
Marriage is an artificial bond (not natural) and the tradition is quite outdated.
LOL! Here's someone else coming up with the "it's… not… NATURAL!" argument. Seriously, JemyM — I'm sure you can do better.

(As an aside, having been in a quite a few different types of relationships, I can assure you that marriage works very well for me — and feels quite "natural" as well. Of course, this doesn't mean that it will necessarily work for *everyone* — but dissing it as "artificial" and "outdated" is just as silly as declaring it the one, universal, unshakeable ideal of human companionship.)

Old values does not really hold up in the modern everchanging culture. To many, marriage a faery tale, a fragile dream. They get married for the wrong reasons. When reality shatter their illusions they divorce.
Which, of course, does not mean that marriage in itself is a bad idea. It just means that getting married to the wrong person for the wrong reasons is a bad idea, which is pretty solidly in Captain Obvious territory.

The only way to keep a marriage is to marry for the right reasons and that's love that endured the first years and developed into a long lasting friendship.
JemyM, you sure seem to know a lot about the "only" way to personal fulfilment.

Seriously (again): you're being exactly as narrow-minded as someone who says that the only way to have a happy marriage is to abstain from sex until then, and let your parents pick your spouse. People are different; some things work for some people, other things work for other people. Some people are pretty much congenitally incapable of staying faithful, which means that a monogamous marriage won't work for them at all; others are congenitally loyal, have a hard time letting people close to them, and have a deep need for trust and belonging, which means that they'd be unhappy in anything other than a monogamous marriage. How hard is this for you to accept?

Marriage based on sex, babies, fresh new love, faerytales and illusions about the perfect mate will probably not last.

With the amount of people who marry for the wrong reasons, state laws should not take marriage seriously.
From the state's point of view, marriage is a contract that can be entered into or dissolved at will. Why should that mean that state laws should not take such contracts "seriously?"

I'm developing a serious dislike for you, Jemy. You have a very nasty way of wanting to impose your personal lifestyle choices and values on everyone else. That's despicable.
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September 6th, 2007, 11:24
Originally Posted by Kayla View Post
It's like if you get hammered and projectile vomit and wake up with the mother of all hang overs the next morning when you go out drinking for the first time. You would be less likely to go on a bender again. If the second time you went drinking the same thing happened I could understand never touching alcohol again.
If that were true, there would be no alcoholics. Sadly, it isn't and there are.
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September 6th, 2007, 11:34
Same as there are people who marry multiple times, and people who have a bad experience and decide that's enough.

Come to think of it, I don't think getting drunk is the best analogy for this situation.

Prime Junta please make another post, you are logical and I agree with what you have said throughout the thread. I am also certain you make more sense than me (no need to do a poll…. I concede) so I'll just sit here, clean my whiskers and nod occasionally when reading your responses. You are now the spokesperson for chickencat (unless you are anti-chicken or anti-cat, and then I will strip you of the power I have just bestowed upon you). You may now act as my brain and my voice from…… now.

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

When I have had a bad day, I only have to think of chicken cat and I can put my problems in perspective
.
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September 6th, 2007, 11:47
Originally Posted by Kayla View Post
Same as there are people who marry multiple times, and people who have a bad experience and decide that's enough.
Same thing with domestic abuse. It's amazingly hard for many people to get out of an abusive relationship, and people who manage it often end up in a new one with the same problems.

Prime Junta please make another post, you are logical and I agree with what you have said throughout the thread. I am also certain you make more sense than me (no need to do a poll…. I concede) so I'll just sit here, clean my whiskers and nod occasionally when reading your responses. You are now the spokesperson for chickencat (unless you are anti-chicken or anti-cat, and then I will strip you of the power I have just bestowed upon you). You may now act as my brain and my voice from…… now.
Can I put that in my .sig?

I don't have any chickens, but here's the cat:
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September 6th, 2007, 12:07
Yes. You can immortalise me.
I knew I would say something worthwhile one day.

Your cat is absolutely gorgeous, and looks very dignified. What's his/her name? My girl likes to sit on top of the front door. It must be a "surveying my kingdom" thing. Good thing I don't try it. I'd probably break the door and/or scare the crap out of my other half or the unfortunate Avon/phone company/door to door salesperson that came near the door. I also know I would not look as majestic as your cat. I won' t try it… my mind is made up now.

Originally Posted by Myrthos View Post
…after reading Kayla's post I'll just go stand beside her and say: "What she said".
If only people said I was right more regularly. *Gives Myrthos some sunblock and puts a muzzle on the chicken part of chicken cat so there is no chance of an "incident".* Can you said "Kayla, I agree with you 100%" into a tape recorder for me?

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

When I have had a bad day, I only have to think of chicken cat and I can put my problems in perspective
.
Last edited by Kayla; September 6th, 2007 at 12:40.
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September 6th, 2007, 14:12
Her name is Missy. She does like high places. (I guess a part of it is that we also have a dog, and if she wants to be left alone, going up on something is the way to go. They're great friends though.)

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September 6th, 2007, 14:36
Originally Posted by Prime Junta View Post
Same thing with domestic abuse. It's amazingly hard for many people to get out of an abusive relationship, and people who manage it often end up in a new one with the same problems.
True - and that is why so many of these numbers don't correlate. And why I used addictive behaviors as an analogy (admittedly not a strong one) - so long as people don't get at the root cause of why there is a problem they can never fix it.

And JemyM, I disagree with your assessment that marriage is an outmoded fad like the pet rock and hula hoop. The artifice is the 'contract', religious or civil, not the ability of two people to enter into a lifelong relationship. It is largely the rise of the world society based around instant gratification and easy disposal that causes these issues - sure there is some based around the empowerment of women not to take so much crap, but I think that is actually relatively minor. If people accepted that life required hard work, sacrifice and patience then it wouldn't be such an issue.

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September 6th, 2007, 15:10
I have a small and scary analogy for you (you might not agree with it, but here it goes…). Except maybe for the people on this forum, a lot of people buy new things and a month later they see something else they want, so they stop playing the old game and buy new one. After that it goes on like that until they find a game they like playing a lot and play it for a whole 6 months, but even then they can find something new and 'better' so they throw their old game on the shelf and buy the new one, etcetera. Maybe a bad analogy too, but that is what has become of marriage in very basic terms.
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September 6th, 2007, 15:30
Originally Posted by txa1265 View Post
It is largely the rise of the world society based around instant gratification and easy disposal that causes these issues - sure there is some based around the empowerment of women not to take so much crap, but I think that is actually relatively minor. If people accepted that life required hard work, sacrifice and patience then it wouldn't be such an issue.
I have to disagree with you. It wasn't until the mid 1980's in Australia a man could be charged with raping his wife. Domestic violence was seen as a woman stepped out of line and her husband had to put her back in her place. When women in the Australian Public Service married they were forced to resign. In 1916 the Tax Office annual report declared its delight that ‘the employment of females on the less important work of the department has been a success’. 1928 women were fighting for 8 hour work days, like the men.

Women are not objects, are not possessions, there is still discrimination (I appreciate racism, sex discrimination and other forms of discrimination are still major issues, but I think that is for another thread), unequal pay and many other things women have to fight for. Women are not to be so easily dismissed and are not content to live their lives in their man's shadow, at his beck and call, to comply and jump to his every whim and need.

Women (and men) in abusive relationships sometimes are able to recognise they do not need to accept it anymore, infidelity does not need to be accepted anymore (obviously depending on the individual relationship and circumstances), a woman should not be forced to have sex against her will, husband or not. This isn't just empowerment, it is about the right to live your life without fear, prejudice or being seen as an unimportant and disposable. Dowry burnings, "female circumcision", killing female children because they are seen as less than male children, domestic abuse (physical and mental) continue and if someone is brave enough to fight their way out of a cycle like that and start again with nothing and no one to help them, I think it very insulting to categorise this as not taking as much crap.

There are some people (eg. Britney Spears) who do get a quickie wedding and then have it annulled. However, this would not be possible if the chuch did not offer quickie weddings. Lodge an application, wait 6 months and you will receive your licence. It should not be as easy as driving through McDonalds and getting a burger.

Generally though I think people do take marriage/relationships seriously, particularly if they have assets like a house. I just think people are less willing to be violated, demeaned and made to feel worthless by someone that is suppose to care for them. People are less willing to just do with their lot. There are a lot more people going to marriage counselling and trying to work things out, sometimes things are broken and cannot be fixed, and in that case it is best to go and start fresh and pick up the pieces and create a new life for yourself where you can be content with your life and have a little bit of self esteem.

A lot of women (including women I know very well, and multiple women not just a couple) take a lot of abuse that I would not take. Their partners cut them off from their family and friends so there is no one to rely on except their partner, and then they get broken down with insults and mental abuse that makes them think they deserve no better than to be a servant, their opinion is worth nothing and they are worth nothing. It is really hard to see, and when it ends in divorce and you get a phone call or visit from someone you have not seen for a long time because they have been under the thumb for so long, it is difficult to make them see their true value, to get them to trust again and to get them to have "normal" human interactions. It is always easier to remember the negative things said to you than the positive things said to you. Mental abuse does not leave bruises, cuts or damage that can be captured in a photograph, and as it cannot be seen it cannot easily be proven or circumvented. If someone turns up at work or a family member shows up with bruises, you know something is going on. If someone is losing themselves and slipping into depression you sometimes really need to be watching to see something is wrong, and sometimes it is too late to get through without professional assistance from a caring, qualified doctor who will be patience and persistent with the rebuilding process.

My head is full of a lot of thoughts, and I think I may have read more into your comment than you intended, but I am very passionate about equality (not just sex equality, all forms of equality), even if I am not articulate.

Women are not content with being in the 1950's and 1960's anymore where the advice from womens magazines was basically the man is king and the woman is there to serve him. eg.

The Good Wife's Guide
From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity.

Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

Prima Junta. Very cute 2nd photo. And there is a cycle of abuse. It is incredibly difficult to get out of an abusive relationship and even harder not to fall into the same trap again. It is incredibly hard to break the cycle and if you are abused as a child to not do the same to your own children. I believe we are all creations of our life experiences, and the longer the behaviour and the more impactful the behaviour, the harder it is to change.

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

When I have had a bad day, I only have to think of chicken cat and I can put my problems in perspective
.
Last edited by Kayla; September 6th, 2007 at 16:04.
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September 6th, 2007, 16:00
I actually largely agree with you Kayla, which is why I singled it out. But if I look at the overall landscape of change in society, anti-social behavior and other stuff related to the instant-gratification world and lack of social interaction have pervasive impacts in just about everything, including marriage and other relationships.

That is not to minimize the impact of gaining equality in relationships, but I think that the change in relationships based on women gaining more equality has been gradual and happening for several decades - I was raised in a household where the parents were partners in the true sense of the word, and they were married at the start of the 60's - and I found that the majority of my friends had parents that reflected some sort of continuum between 'traditional' and 'enlightened'.

I believe that the causes come from all over the place, but I see too many people who think that '50-50' means every day, every dollar, every piece of laundry … it doesn't and never will. Putting life under that sort of microscope is a perfect recipe for failure. I also see too many women under the delusion that they can 'have it all' … as if men ever did … you *cannot* simultaneously be a full-time employee, full-time mom, and keep the same close circle of friends and extra activities all at once. Can't happen. That doesn't mean that I believe for a second that women belong 'barefoot and pregnant', but that reality requires you to be realistic.

— Mike
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September 6th, 2007, 16:18
I think the main issue today with anti-social behviour is a lack of manners. Parents think teachers should be instilling values, morals and manners in their children, and yes they should, but the parents also have a role to play and sometimes this does not happen.

I regularly see no respect for elders, for authority figures and no restraint. We used to respect the police, they just get told to "f*** off" now. When I am driving at night I see kids as young as 11 (at a guess) walking the streets or in car parks like McDonalds that are open 24 hours. I can't help but think this is a result of the parents. How can you not know where your kids are at 2am in the morning? How can you let you child disrespect people in front of you and not pull them up? I had a kid sitting on the train with his mother and the kid kept kicking my leg. I said "would you please stop doing that. You're kicking me and it hurts. Thanks". I said it as politely as I could and the mother went into a very loud speach about how she had paid for her train ticket and her kid could do whatever she wanted (with many rude words and comments like "who the f*** do you think you are to limit my child's freedom of speech?" Hello, not freedom of speech, it's called kicking a complete stranger, multiple times, very hard.) I said "ok, I see your point. I paid for a train ticket too" and I kicked the mum and she went off her nana! Funny that.

I think teachers play a role (and I think 94.786% (yes I made the %age up) of teachers do a fantastic job and are very dedicated to their jobs and the children in their care) but parents play a more important role as it doesn't matter what a teacher says, the parent't behaviour will have a more lasting and imbedded impact on the child, their thoughts and their behaviour. This will be a bad example, but if I raised my kid telling them the KKK was right in their views and they are persecuted, and in history class my kid studies Martin Luthur King, Ms Parkes (on the bus) and other great civil rights activists, do you think my kid will dispose of their previous information provided by me as their parent and see the teacher as correct, or think the teacher is an idiot and just being politically correct?
I personally think that is the major cause behind the changing attitude of youth and increase of anti-social behaviour.

I think you are right when you say a relationship cannot ever be exactly 50/50. Sometimes my partner does more than me around the house, sometimes he does nothing (I don't mean he's useless) depending on the hours we have been working, how we are feeling and when our next day off is. He gets home late on Monday nights due to tech, so I make sure the wasking up is done, rubbish out etc. every Monday. I don't say to him on Tuesday "I did it last night, your turn". Relationships are about compromise. Do I want to wash up every night, no, does he, no. We all do things we would prefer not to do. He cooks most of the time, I do the washing. He does the vacuuming and keeps the kitchen clean, I do the rest of the place. It's 50/50, not exactly, I am sure, but we both contribute, and we both do things the other does not like to do so they don't have to do it. I hate cleaning the toilet, but it isn't his idea of a great night in either.

I did have a point… I just have to remember what it is. The change in society I think is due to parents not setting the example they should for their kids. There will always be great parents who have children with issues through nothing they have done, but these are (again in my opinion) few and far between when you look at the youth of today, their school and their parents, I think I know where I am more likely to look the hardest for answers on unacceptable behaviour.

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

When I have had a bad day, I only have to think of chicken cat and I can put my problems in perspective
.
Last edited by Kayla; September 6th, 2007 at 16:46.
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September 6th, 2007, 16:20
Originally Posted by Prime Junta View Post
LOL! Here's someone else coming up with the "it's… not… NATURAL!" argument. Seriously, JemyM — I'm sure you can do better.
Marriage is a human construct. What you feel is natural is your habit. Creating habits is natural. This is rather simple psychology.

Originally Posted by Prime Junta View Post
JemyM, you sure seem to know a lot about the "only" way to personal fulfilment.
Seriously (again): you're being exactly as narrow-minded as someone who says that the only way to have a happy marriage is to abstain from sex until then, and let your parents pick your spouse. People are different; some things work for some people, other things work for other people. Some people are pretty much congenitally incapable of staying faithful, which means that a monogamous marriage won't work for them at all; others are congenitally loyal, have a hard time letting people close to them, and have a deep need for trust and belonging, which means that they'd be unhappy in anything other than a monogamous marriage. How hard is this for you to accept?
What is difficult for me to accept is that you misunderstood my position.

The first problem is simple biology and I apologize if it sounds callous to reduce romances down to simple chemistry.
When you fall in love your body releases oxytocine in your system which will create a bond to that person. Oxytocine will force your brain to see the other person as a near godlike being, perfect in every sense. You will trust them 100% and you will automaticly ignore all disadvantages or even love the disadvantages of that person. You will also feel a complete rush and strong happiness to even be near that person. Getting married on oxytocine is not a good idea because it eventually gets out of your system and thats when people either break up (sometimes very badly) or decide that there's enough reasons to keep the relationship. This is why most marriages that takes place soon after two people meet rarely last for long no matter how happy the couple seemed to be.

The second problem is when people marry not because they feel for eachother but because of tradition or expectations. Such marriages might last entirely depending on the circumstances but is less than likely to be good.

Originally Posted by Prime Junta View Post
From the state's point of view, marriage is a contract that can be entered into or dissolved at will. Why should that mean that state laws should not take such contracts "seriously?"
I see a waste of money in creating easy to sign, easy to dissolve contracts with a costly aftermath.

Originally Posted by Prime Junta View Post
I'm developing a serious dislike for you, Jemy. You have a very nasty way of wanting to impose your personal lifestyle choices and values on everyone else. That's despicable.
I believe your statement is unjustified but if thats how you feel I hope it wont stop you from debating the topic rationally.
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September 6th, 2007, 16:37
Originally Posted by JemyM View Post
Marriage is a human construct. What you feel is natural is your habit. Creating habits is natural. This is rather simple psychology.
It's also has nothing to do with the value (or lack thereof) of marriage as an institution. Some human constructs are worthwhile and valuable. Others aren't. Simply pointing out that marriage is "not natural" (or "a human construct," if you will) says absolutely nothing about its usefulness or value. If your claim is that marriage is an outdated and useless institution, you should be able to defend that claim through observation, experience, and argument.

What is difficult for me to accept is that you misunderstood my position.
I think I understood your position quite well. If not, please set me straight.

The first problem is simple biology and I apologize if it sounds callous to reduce romances down to simple chemistry.
Which, again, has nothing to do with the value (or lack thereof) of marriage as an institution. In fact, it's rather in Captain Obvious territory again — "getting married for the wrong reasons is a bad idea." Really, you don't say?

I see a waste of money in creating easy to sign, easy to dissolve contracts with a costly aftermath.
So, do you believe it's the government's business to restrict people's freedom to form contracts because they may choose to dissolve the contracts afterwards, at a cost to themselves?

I believe your statement is unjustified but if thats how you feel I hope it wont stop you from debating the topic rationally.
I don't particularly enjoy debate with you either. You rarely present a good or challenging argument; instead, you throw around non sequiturs, bald assertions, or sweeping generalizations. Addressing them is just tedious, not enlightening or interesting.
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September 6th, 2007, 16:37
A contract is not necessarily easy to sign and easy to dissolve. Drive in Australia and there are multiple stages and requirements to be able to drive on the roads (ok, not a written contract, but a verbal contract that by going through the stages you will abide by the laws of Australia when on the road). Business contracts or a home loan are not easy to sign and easy to dissolve.

Union should be an application for permission for the legal contract, a contract signed and then if you want a religious ceremony you can. One of the guys I work with had a Hindu wedding in India after a legal Australian wedding because his religion and family would not recognise the union until they had the traditional ceremony. Excellent, legally they are married, and to his family they are married.

There are already pre-nups which are just legal contracts, not romanticised, not based on love, based on if I do this you get this, if you do this you will only get this.

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September 6th, 2007, 16:43
Originally Posted by JemyM View Post
The first problem is simple biology and I apologize if it sounds callous to reduce romances down to simple chemistry.
When you fall in love your body releases oxytocine in your system which will create a bond to that person. Oxytocine will force your brain to see the other person as a near godlike being, perfect in every sense. You will trust them 100% and you will automaticly ignore all disadvantages or even love the disadvantages of that person. You will also feel a complete rush and strong happiness to even be near that person.
OK, perhaps you need to go back to Chemistry … yes there are hormones related to attractionm and the one you cite occurs during orgasm and supposedly might be related to relationships and trust. But saying "When you fall in love your body releases oxytocine" is … um … just wrong. Falling in love, feeling lust and having sex are all different things.
Originally Posted by JemyM View Post
This is why most marriages that takes place soon after two people meet rarely last for long no matter how happy the couple seemed to be.
There I agree - people ride that early wave of euphoria of attraction into a marriage are often doomed in one way or another.

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September 6th, 2007, 17:33
Originally Posted by Prime Junta View Post
So, do you believe it's the government's business to restrict people's freedom to form contracts because they may choose to dissolve the contracts afterwards, at a cost to themselves?
Hmm. "Restrict people's freedom" to "form contracts". Restricting your freedom is the whole point with a contract. You sign certain agreements which you cannot break as long as the contract is valid, and there are agreements that are automaticly invalid. For example, you are not allowed to write a contract that agree that someone else own you.

Having said that, the issue I have with a marriage contract is not the contract in itself. Anyone can make a contract. The issue I have with a marriage contract is the things that the government need to pay if you break it. This is different depending on which country you live in but over here it offers things like free councelling and help with sorting things out after a divorce. I think that marriage/divorce is too simple for so much support afterwards.
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RPGWatch Forums » General Forums » Politics, Religion & other Controversies » Should there be love and marriage for all people (over legal age)?
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