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Default Political and politically incorrect humor

June 30th, 2011, 11:08
getting bit old now but still funny in video form!

http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloo…e&fullscreen=1
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July 5th, 2011, 16:49
Two weeks from Time:






Bonus from Varvel:


And finally, in one near and dear to this site, I say "Huzzah!" for parents.

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July 5th, 2011, 19:05

Mankind must put an end to war or war will put an end to mankind. - John F Kennedy
An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind. - Mahatma Gandhi
The world is my country. To do good is my religion. My mind is my own church. This simple creed is all we need to enjoy peace on earth. - Thomas Paine
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July 8th, 2011, 20:30
Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman…

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one Day.

As they walk, they come across a sign:

"Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I am entering" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her,

"Well, how'd ya do?
" First Place ," said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign:

"Contest for the strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering," says Superman.
After half an hour he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
" First Place ," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a sign:

"Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"

Pinocchio enters.

After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.

"Who the hell is Obama?" asked Pinocchio.

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July 8th, 2011, 20:36
substitute Bush for Obama and it still isn't funny…
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July 8th, 2011, 21:07
Oh cmon! That's funny. And you're welcome to do that substitution if it makes you feel better.

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July 8th, 2011, 21:19
Having a hard time finding humor in a truly dismal situation. I need a vacation.
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July 8th, 2011, 23:42
Originally Posted by dteowner View Post
Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman…

After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.

"Who the hell is Obama?" asked Pinocchio.
Its not suprising at all that politician is the best lier. Might have worked better if the term itself was used instead of specific person belonging to it.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou
"Those who dont read history are destined to repeat it." Edmund Burke
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Talking Italian head of state

July 13th, 2011, 21:10
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File Type: jpg Italienische Staatschefs.jpg (112.8 KB, 141 views)

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. - HL Mencken
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July 15th, 2011, 14:21
Kinda "meh" week from Time.



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Default Religious Humour

July 17th, 2011, 06:24
I decided to post this here in case it offends anyone!!

A NEW BIBLE FOR A NEW AGE

By Lee Duigon
June 26, 2011 NewsWithViews.com
In conjunction with the New York State Legislature's passage of its new "gay marriage" law, a group of progressive churchmen has released a brand-new Bible to replace the old.

"By 'brand-new' we mean exactly that," said Rev. Caiaphas Legion, pastor of Squawking Idiot Episcopal Church in Sinkhole, Vermont. "All the old stuff has been thrown out, so that we can have a Bible tailored to today's needs.

"Replacing God's word isn't as difficult as you might think. You just get new words. We have an illustrious panel of theologians, ministers, seers, fortune-tellers, and yoga experts who have all been the recipients of continuing revelation for quite some time."

The theological brains behind this new Nowadays Bible is Dr. Al Crowley, the Simon Magus Professor of Theology at Grand Union Theological Seminary in Mordor, New York.

"'Continuing revelation' is just that-God has continued to reveal things to a select group of very with-it people," Dr. Crowley explained. "I mean, why should God stop talking to us 2,000 years ago? Did She run out of things to say? Heck, no! God knew we needed a new Bible, so now we've got one."

Although the Nowadays Bible won't go on sale until the first "gay marriages" are consummated at New York City Hall, we have been given a sneak preview of its contents by one of the panelists, Priestess Portia Gluesniffer of the Temple of the Glistening Slug Goddess in Drivel City, California.

The centerpiece of the New Old Testament, she says, is the New Ten Commandments, reproduced below.


One. Thou shalt have no other gods before me-unless, of course, you sincerely believe in them. Then thou canst have as many as you want.

Two. Never mind that business about graven images-thou shalt indeed worship the work of thine own hands. I've completely changed my mind about that.

Three. Thou shalt indeed take the name of the Lord in vain, whenever it serveth a good purpose. But watch out for what thou sayest about women, gays, minorities, or the fantastically wonderful people who ruleth thee! Otherwise thou couldst find thyself busted for hate speech.

Four. Forget the Sabbath day and don't bother to keep it holy. I mean, really, who careth about that anymore?

Five. Honor thy two fathers or thy two mothers, or thy sperm donor, or whatever. After all, a family is whatever anyone sincerely saith it is.

Six. Thou shalt not kill, unless authorized to do so by an official government death panel. Abortions also are a good work.

Seven. Thou shalt indeed commit adultery whenever it pleaseth thee. In fact, since all imaginable sexual connections are now permitted, it hath become impossible to commit adultery. Enjoy the party!

Eight. Thou shalt not steal, unless thou hast a majority in the legislature or a friendly judge on the bench. Then thou canst steal anything from anybody.

Nine. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor, unless he standeth in the way of social justice. Then thou mayest slander him right into the nearest re-education camp.

Ten. Thou shalt indeed covet anything and everything that is thy neighbor's. Goodness gracious-how canst thou run any kind of political campaign without whipping people into a frenzy of covetousness?

"You'll notice," adds Priestess Portia, "that God still likes to use a lot of the old Bibly-kind of language. We think it adds dignity. We're very much into dignity."

We asked if there would be any surprises in the Nowadays Bible version of the New Testament. The priestess answered with a twinkle in her eye.

"I might as well tell you," she said, "because we do want people to be ready for it. What's new about our New New Testament is-no Jesus!"

No Jesus?

"We had to write him out," said Portia. "He just isn't inclusive enough. And if you read the old New Testament carefully, you'll find that Jesus says and does some pretty hurtful and divisive things. Always telling people they're going to go to Hell if they don't behave in a certain way-that's just not Christian, is it? Jesus really isn't a very good example, and besides which, the whole Jesus thing is just too male, not to mention heterosexist. So God told us to scrap the old New Testament and put in a new one."

But who will take Jesus' place as Savior?

"In today's diverse world," Portia said, "there's a savior for everybody. So the New New Testament has woman and gay and Muslim and non-believing saviors in it, something for everybody. The point is, ultimately, that each of us is her or his own Christ. It has been revealed to me and several others that that's the direction Christianity has gotta go."

As a last tidbit, we were given a peek at the rewritten Golden Rule:

Do unto others, period.

"God knows that one's a lot easier to live by than the old one," Priestess Portia said. "And isn't 'easy' what Christianity's all about?"
2011 Lee Duigon - All Rights Reserved

If God said it, then that settles it!!

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July 18th, 2011, 18:56

Sorry. No pearls of wisdom in this oyster.
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July 22nd, 2011, 14:19
Very slow week for Time.


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July 26th, 2011, 23:31


Dance on the grave
-"Popular/nationalist finns are nazies"
-"Freedom of speech must be limited"
-"More government control is needed"
-"Christians are murderers"
-"New gun law is needed"

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou
"Those who dont read history are destined to repeat it." Edmund Burke
Last edited by zakhal; July 26th, 2011 at 23:43.
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August 3rd, 2011, 17:41
Problem solving, Air Force style:
Attached Images
File Type: jpg AF1.jpg (77.0 KB, 28 views)

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August 3rd, 2011, 17:48
Much better week for Time:



Ummm, how bout them Cowboys!





I thought Thrasher would appreciate this one:

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August 4th, 2011, 03:37
Those ARE pretty good.
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August 5th, 2011, 11:59
That picture with the tea party cup :

That could be Athens of Greece as well …
Another twist to the story …
The Euro Zone Crisis might make life miserable in Washington, D.C. as well …

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction. (E.F.Schumacher, Economist, Source)
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August 10th, 2011, 15:23
They sent my Census form back! AGAIN!!!

In response to the question: "Do you have any dependents?"
I replied …….

12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 42 million unemployable lazy bastards; the entire cast of the Jerry Springer Show; 2 million people in over 243 prisons; 300,000 leftovers from Katrina; half of Mexico; and hundreds more in the U.S. House and Senate.

Apparently, this wasn't an acceptable answer…

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August 11th, 2011, 01:16
Sounds like a fair and reasonable response to me; ask to speak to the person who queeried it's supervisor. Perhaps you'll be adding to that list!!

If God said it, then that settles it!!

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