Before I lay bare the sordid nature of my experiments, let me give you a brief flyby of the basics. The mission kicked off in a canal outside the mansion, heavily patrolled by both guards and Tallboys – long, spindly legs atwitter with excitement over the fact that they finally found a home after Gabe Newell left them cold and alone in a box by the roadside. My initial goal was to get into the mansion by any means necessary (for example, possess a rat, blink up the side of a building, battle a bunch of deranged plague victims, valiantly attempt to kill everyone, etc) and figure out which of three similarly dressed women all named “Lady Boyle” was secretly plotting with the corrupt Lord Regent. And then, of course, I’d need to find a way to make her not do that anymore ever again.
