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April 13th, 2012, 19:17
I think that the Kickstarter proposal of Tortured Hearts is handled the wrong way.

When you look at the videos of Double Fine and Wasteland 2, they are very clear and to the point and you immediately get the answers to the following questions:

- Who are they
- What is their background
- What type of game do they want to make
- What is the target audience
- Why use Kickstarter
- why should we want to care

Of course, they are big names in he industry and that gives them a large advantage but they still need to convey the right message and convince us why we should care about their intended project.

The way I see it, such approach is entirely missing with TH. In priniciple, the information is there if you read all the text but the way it is presented is done ineffectively. It seems to me that they rely on the assumption that people will read everything carefully, process the information, and decode accordling. Instead, the video should be a summary where the most important points are highlighted and most importantly it should show the team or at least one person showing clear signs of motivation. The written description of the project is simply step 2 that should serve to provide more details. One cannot expect people to read the text if no interest is generated through the video.

Clearly, the goal of the video is to give us a reason why we should care about the project and to show us what sets the game apart when compared to the mainstream offerings.

Another thing that may backfire is the use of the term "lighthearted". If I understood correctly, the idea is to have a satirical humerous parody on RPGs and a light hearted tone is chosen. But a quick look at the text seems to put more emphasis on the term "lighthearted" and that might put many people off. I think it would be more effective if more emphasis were to be put on satirical and parody to give it a more adult feel. At first glance, it is not clear what game you will get and whether you belong to the actual target audience. I am myself not particularly fond of lighthearted themes but if the core of the tone is the satire, parody and intelligent writing then I would be very much into it.

Another strategy that I think is ineffective is that a lot of emphasis is put on what is already done. So we have the areas, so we have the dialogues, so we have the NPCs….so? My main question would not be "Do you have the dialogues?" but rather, "what type of dialogues can I expect?" I think that more effort should be put in explaining to us what sets this game apart and what type of experience we can get with this game that we shall not get with other games. It is OK to show that a lot of work is done but that should be secondary and not the main selling point.

A new video is made and we can now see a face of a key team member but I don't think that the video is good enough. In fact, I am convinced that the video does not work at all. In summary, the video says: We are almost done but we need the money to make the graphics. The game gets you 100+ of game hours, has non-linear exploration, has many party members. But the question remains: Why should I back this project?
OK, I'll get 100 hours of gameplay in one playthrough. But how do I know if I will enjoy those 100 hours? Nowhere in the video is being said what type of game we will get and whether I am the intended target audience. An RPG is a very broad concept so it is crucial to specify which areas (i.e. story, dialogues, C&C, combat, exploration, NPC interaction, etc.) are being well developed. Describing these things in a lengthy description won't help at all if you lose people after the video.

Regardless of whether I am right or wrong, the fact remains that this project is not getting sufficient funding so something is indeed being done wrongly, especially considering the fact that other RPG projects do get their funding in little time. This project might be promising if it is indeed an intelligently written satirical parody. According to the current progress, it is likely that the required funding won't be pledged but I would certainly think that it would deserve a new Kickstart attempt but with a different strategy in presentation.
Last edited by Asdraguuhl; April 14th, 2012 at 00:01.
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