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June 19th, 2012, 02:36
I think I've been able to dig up one of the strangest games ever.

Let me explain how it starts:
You fly around in a blimp, when suddenly some naked balds dwarfs are starting to launch themselves as firework towards you, and explode in "fun". Unfortunately they make your blimp crash.
So you land on a strange island, where there are more naked bald dwarfs running around, and the gods tell you that they need a plumber and the cargo that you were supposed to deliver, but of course the cargo is currently sinking, and they won't sell you a sail until you have extracted more "fun" out of the naked bald dwarfs. So you run around and kick the dwarfs, until they all have exploded, and then dump metal into a swirling thing in the water, to make a volcano erupt, which will throw out all the naked bald dwarfs you have previously made explode, so that you can kick them again. As soon as you have bought a sail from the gods and gathered enough cargo, the gods tell you that the naked bald dwarfs have found a turbine which they throw themselves into, and which kills them (permanently), so now you need to build a motor boat to get to the turbine, in order to kick the dwarfs away from it.
But some of the dwarfs have built a ship/balloon which sinks, so now you need to attach a ring buoy to your motorboat, which in turn will let you save the naked bald dwarfs from drowning. The dwarfs enjoy going fast, so as long as you control the boat, they will hold on to the ring buoy, in a long naked bald dwarf chain, and this is also how you lure them away from the turbine. And by going fast, the dwarfs have fun, which will allow you to call down a glacier from the sky, filled with evil penguins who like to squash naked bald dwarfs. So now I need to stop the penguins. And that was the first level of Cargo: Quest for Gravity.
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