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October 25th, 2006, 00:52
Top Ten Reasons Why the Main Characters in LOTR Aren't Women

10. Gollum would have realized that Bilbo wasn't talking about a riddle when he said, "What have I got in my pocket?"

9. Boromir wouldn't have been killed by Orcs. He would have dodged the arrows.

8. Bilbo wouldn't have given the ring to Frodo (a lady never leaves pretty jewelry behind).

7. Gandalf would have been smart enough to realize that Saruman had become evil.

5. Boromir wouldn't have fallen to the power of the ring. She would have more sense than that.

4. All the robes of the Wizards would be more exciting colors like pink, purple, blue, fuscia, perriwinkle…

3. We still wouldn't be able to tell Dwarf men from Dwarf women. ("It the beard!")

2. Aragorn would've had to turn from the path of being Queen of Gondor, which is much harder to do.

And the number one reason why the main characters of LOTR aren't women:

1. Isildur would've been smart enough to throw the ring into Mt. Doom in the first place.
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