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January 27th, 2008, 10:12
Good Lord of the Tigers, it's been a cinematic rollercoaster for me the last couple days. I started out watching Black Sheep and Slither w/ friends, then today I burned a few thousand brain cells watching Lady Snowblood, Zardoz, and Dracula's Fiancee by myself because nobody else was brave enough.

Or foolish enough, depending on your vantage point of the whole mess.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++
Black Sheep was a crowd favorite yet I found it pretty lame, purrsonally. Damn hippies let loose a horrible mutagen on one of their ill-fated eco-missions, and mutant sheep run amok. They in turn chow down on humans who become were-sheep (theres a stupid D&D monster for ya) and much hilarity ensures. At least that was the plan.

Unlike the cute-animals-go-berserk antics of Night of the Lepus (Lepus means bunny in latin-ese) which was played with a straight face, this one is out for comedy yucks from the get go. Unfortunately, the gags arent all that good, and I'm more a fan of unintentional humor anyway than I am something thats aiming square for my funny bone. Had some suprisingly nasty gore at times tho, it was like watching an old Andrew Dice Clay routine - doesnt really succeed at being funny most of the time, but definitely succeeds at being gross. While I wouldnt say it was a truly bad horror-comedy, this certainly was no Sean of the Dead.

Slither, on the other paw… kicked total ass! Loved it. Worthy of a spot in my vaunted collection.

Youve seen the story before: meteorite lands on the outskirts of some one-horse midwest town, cracks open like an egg, and someone getting high/taking a leak/making out gets too close. All hell breaks loose.

I'm not the kind of person who cares about overall originality, really. In movies, in games, music, women, etc. I like what I like, and I like nothing more than MORE of what I like. Does that like, make sense? It's not that I'm not open to new things, I just dont turn my nose up and get all bent or bored when I get more of the same w/ new accoutrements. So someone slapped some interesting tattoos and piercings on this 80's dame, yet left her ultra-feathered Heather Locklear hairdo alone. I'm cool w/ that.

Slither is basically every small-town alien infestation horror film concept youve seen before, yet updated for the New Era. It's really funny, gory, and has awesome special effects that dont solely rely on CGI. Slither is bred of the classics, and that aint bein copy-cat in my book if it's done well- it's being old school horror.


Lady Snowblood is a 70's Japanese revenge flick, supposedly the inspiration behind Tarantino's Kill Bill. Supposedly a lot of nice swordplay. I did think of Kill Bill while watching this, but more for a few crazy arterial sprays than for the rest of the film. Yes, she's totally out for revenge, and yes she goes thru a ridiculous amount of training for decades to prepare for said vengeance, but there's actually a very meager amount of swordplay in the film. The way I see it, she could have taken lessons at the YMCA on weekends for a year or so to prepare for the amount of combat she actually engages in.

Needless to say (buy I'll say it anyway of course), I was kinda disappointed.

I'm not saying it wasnt a good film at all, it was decent. However, if I go to to Idaho, I want a potato. If I go to Vegas, I want to wake up broke, hungover, and confused in a motel room. And if I rent what is supposedly some influential martial arts film, then I want some of that old kung fu fighting and fancy clashing of melee weapons. This was like drinking non-alchoholic beer, all the pleasure of hoisting a bottle and peeing for hours without getting a buzz.

In that respect, I guess it does resemble the horribly anti-climactic letdown that was The Final Encounter in Kill Bill #2. So I hoist my O'Douls to ya on that one, Quentin.

I'll get to the other two later, it's late and those last two films Zardoz and Dracula's Fiancee had me drinking like a college pledge!
Last edited by xSamhainx; January 27th, 2008 at 10:38.
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