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December 29th, 2007, 21:37


Moving on to the new joke for the day.

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX

Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security
sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not
enough to live on!"
_____

LOUD SEX

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've
got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he
lets out this ear
splitting yell."

"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely
natural. I don't see what the
problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "it
wakes me up!"

_____

QUIET SEX

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out
and asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you
never tell me when you
have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and
replied, "You're never home!"
_____

CONFOUNDED SEX

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood"
was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern
medicine could give him
back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't
cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost
would be $3,500 for "small", $6,500 for "medium", $14,000 for "large".

The man was sure he would want a medium or large,
but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any
decision. The man called
his wife on the phone and explained their options.
The doctor came back into
the room, and found the man looking dejected.

"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.

The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the
kitchen."

_____

WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX

My husband came home with a tube of K-Y jelly and
said, "This will make you happy tonight."
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
_____

ELDERLY SEX

One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo
to find her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman She became violent
and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor "assisted
living apartment" killing him instantly.

Brought before the court on charge of murder, the
judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, "Yes, your honor, I figured that at 92,
if he could have sex, he could fly."
--
Bart and Corwin should just admit that when it gets down to it, I will have the final say.
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