GamesRadar - 30 Rules Every RPG Must Follow

These guys love lists but this tongue-in-cheek one isn't bad, even though it's been done before. Obviously based on jRPGs, Games Radar's 30 Rules Every RPG Must Follow still works reasonably well for quite a few CRPGs:

1. You've overslept…And today’s the day of the town's special holiday fair. Luckily, your grandfather woke you up before you missed it. Still, it's sad that your parents weren't around to help him raise you, but they were killed under non-specific circumstances in the Great War that ended once and for all a few years ago.

Despite the rustic, medieval setting, your grandfather is seen as a source of wisdom and experience. Nobody’s noticed his lack of usefulness and apparent unemployment in a village where every other house has a specific purpose. The two of you have lived a quiet life in your one room cabin that is simply “your house.”

Gramps will tell you to go check out the village. You know, see what’s new with the 15 villagers you’ve spent every moment of the first 16 years of your life with.

More information.

That's not far off being the plot of NWN2, and also Jade Empire in parts. Actually eerily similar to the plot of NWN2.

I have to admit I can't stand the fact that after "spending your whole life in a village", the villagers still have no clue what's going on, and the main character doesn't seem to know anything about anyone in the village (asking all sorts of silly questions).

I like the way Gothic starts out - bang, new world, new people, you have no idea who's who and what's what. No need to explain anything. Also, I like PS:Ts start, where you slowly try to figure out who you are, and why the followers stick around (they all have a reason).

Originally Posted by Maylander
I like the way Gothic starts out - bang, new world, new people,

Who greet you by punching you in the face. "Welcome to the colony." Bang. One of the best ways to start a game.

Yeah, when the character should logically know far, far more than the player, it can create some weird situations. Amnesia plots, and Arcanum/Gothic style beginings do work well. I'll be interested to see how Bio handle this in DA. They don't tend to use those kinds of openings, but with the focus on the origin story, you'd think they'd put some effort into making sure it isn't jarring or awkward for the player and avoiding reverse dramatic irony.

Some western RPGs follow the articles' formula, but I have a feeling that the mental backdrop the author pulls his satire from is Japanese RPGs… that, in my opinion, follow the article to a religious degree.

Anyway, funny article, I enjoyed it.

As much as I love RPGs, they do have something generic. It is based much on Japanese ones, but a lot also fits into western RPGs. Eerie, how much one can recognize.

A problem really is that you are supposed to go from level 1 to whatever is the maximum, and a level 1 is not a "veteran who know what they are doing". Thus, the only one who can save the world in a RPG is a nobody with no experience.

Originally Posted by Maylander
I have to admit I can't stand the fact that after "spending your whole life in a village", the villagers still have no clue what's going on, and the main character doesn't seem to know anything about anyone in the village (asking all sorts of silly questions).

Yeah, why do cRPG's do that? Movies don't.

Actually, it's not just RPGs, it's lots of adventure stories. How about Star Wars? Parents killed early, Old Ben gives him his sword…. They did mess with our minds by having the rescued princess turning out to be the hero's sister instead of falling madly in love with the hero (no, Splinter of the Mind's Eye does NOT count) - but she still fell for one of the team. No way does a rescued princess ever give you a thank-you kiss then go leap into the arms of her fiance, who's been waiting back at the castle.

I liked how Xenosaga pretty much dumped you into the middle of a very complex universe. The main character had some rediculous lapses of memory but, for the most part, you had to go look in the included encylopedia to figure out who's who.

Well I'm trying reading this long article but isn't that just sarcastic? I see it closely linked to old lists like The Grand List Of Console Role Playing Game Cliché

EDIT: The real point is to make a really good CRPG the goal would be to have none of those cliché or rules. Well ok quite a challenge but could be interesting.

EDIT2: I checked the first clichés in the pages 1 and 2 and that's ton of console cliché. The 1st scenario of The Sword Lands Trilogy don't match any but half of one and the other half make it quite different.

That is hilarious, and in many ways oh so true. I think my favorite parts were the ones about the "if your best friend is a girl", "if your best friend is a guy" and the part about "the Ancients". I love it, I love it, I love it.