I don't mind the option for romance in rpgs, I mind not being able to control how I roleplay my character. As long as these romance options are flagged as romance options in the conversation tree its not a problem. I still remember with DAO the whole Zevran guy who I thought my character was being buddy buddy with suddenly progressing to a make-out cutscene. Still not sure how that happened lol.
The in-game effects of npc relationships have never been affected by romance. You could get the maximum approval rating with a character (which brought a stat bonus for you in DAO, and unlocked skills for them in DA2) whether or not you romanced them - - it's never made any difference.
Simple - you have made a wrong dialogue choice somewhere. I have played DA:O couple of times and DA2 once and I have never ended up in a romance with somebody I didn't wanted to be in a romance with.
Zevran's dialog is (imho) just buddy friendly all the way up to a sudden … proposition.
Do you like party based RPGs booboo or do you prefer a solitary experience? Because if it's the latter than indeed there is no point to it at all.
I don't like the 'mini-game' that DA:O introduced where I have to inquire about party members lives etc (endlessly…"X wants to talk to you…" What? again?).