Getting older, how does it effect otherss

I have really enjoyed growing older with my best friend and wife. Watching our children grown, getting to know my parents on a more personal level. Everything that goes along with growing.

My question or thought is because like a lot of boys my age we wanted to be Van Halen, Led Zeppelin etc(insert band). I was just watching this concert https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM_y3pHZGHU from four years ago of led zeppelin.

There just seems to be some look or feeling of sadness or … I don't know the word to describe it. Like being God like for your younger age must be harder when you are not.

All the things you missed out on, I mean the stuff that really matters. Well really matters to me. I think back on those days in front of the mirror wanting to be a rock star….I won't give up my life for anything.

BTW they do sound good....

A touch of melancholia?

As a 44 year old that managed to work myself to bad health and burnout in time for summer I have to remind myself with what I have.

I am back at work, step by step. Wife and two daughters at 6 and 8yrs. have good friends. Forced myself back to the dojo and gym and slowly remembering what it felt like.

But I think I understand what your sentiment is.
Sometimes I get the blues, the things I wanted to do, the journeys that I never made, the things I didn't do because I were too afraid or stupid and the girls that I ran from.
Regrets.

Matching the image of that guy in his early twenties, good looking blond tom cruise lookalike with lots of energy and frustration with the tired look in the mirror of a slightly overweight middle aged man with greying hair is not easy

I think it boils down to, we had all this plans, then life happened.
Life turned out to be good.

hangovers are definitely worse though

C

The worst thing is discovering you can no longer do many of the things you used to be able to do. Your body simply refuses to behave and follow your instructions!!

That noise of satisfaction when we sit down after a long day. Or really, anytime.

I went to a doctor a few days back. Reason? I couldn't bare the pain from my ulcer any more. I thought it's an ulcer.
Before that I visited doctor 20 or 30 years ago (earbuzzing excuded). Yea, sorry, can't remember exact time but anyway, I had no health problems in general.
All the time I smoke like a chimney and I drink a lot. I'm not doing heavy drugs, I wish I did, but I'm not a millionaire to afford that stuff so I'm fine with just pot.

Well it's not an ulcer but a bloody huge stone of almost half of chicken egg size in my gullblader. I need to get it removed through some surgery whatnot. The sooner the better doctor says. So I'll go for it if possible in next few weeks.
I have no delusion that it's not caused by losing nerves over DLC scamware. If I was younger however, my body wouldn't have such reaction on that crap.

Trust it works out well joxer.

Regarding getting older, lovely to have deeper relationship with my partner. She and I have no been together longer than apart in our life.

One thing about getting older is now paying for too much sport when young is keeping orthopaedic surgeons in Ferraris and providing a test for all airport metal detectors!!

Hope it works out well for you, joxer.

Joxer - wish you well with the operation, and take it easy.

I had a better time in my 20's but I am happier in my 40's. You do miss certain things though. I would do anything to play soccer or football again. I have to stick to sports like golf, tennis and volleyball now.

10 years of wrestling and running cross country in high school has done a number on my joints. Still, if you have made the right decisions in life then most people will say they do not mind getting older.

joxer said:

I went to a doctor a few days back. Reason? I couldn't bare the pain from my ulcer any more. I thought it's an ulcer.
Before that I visited doctor 20 or 30 years ago (earbuzzing excuded). Yea, sorry, can't remember exact time but anyway, I had no health problems in general.
All the time I smoke like a chimney and I drink a lot. I'm not doing heavy drugs, I wish I did, but I'm not a millionaire to afford that stuff so I'm fine with just pot.

Well it's not an ulcer but a bloody huge stone of almost half of chicken egg size in my gullblader. I need to get it removed through some surgery whatnot. The sooner the better doctor says. So I'll go for it if possible in next few weeks.
I have no delusion that it's not caused by losing nerves over DLC scamware. If I was younger however, my body wouldn't have such reaction on that crap.

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I speedy recovery Mr. Joxer.

Franklin told me I wouldn't age well, now he's dead and I'm only getting better. Take that one, Benny! I missed out on beauty, but age has always been my friend, I'll take my mind being honed over anything else, honestly. Sometimes I do miss those rugby/football days, though!

Oh, the horrific pain of age, oh, how it slowly crawls over your body wreaking the daily death of a thousand paper cuts, each day without ailment akin to stumbling upon an oasis in the deepest desert.

We are fighters, we are survivors, we force back each assault as if it were an invading army, a pill here, a day of rest there, more exercise, less pleasures, a whole new regime brought about for no other reason than the mere thought of our inevitable and all to impending death.

What was once lean is becoming fat, what was once smooth is becoming wrinkled, what was once a sea of taste is becoming a burnt palette, what was once hairy is becoming bald, what was one bald is becoming hairy.

Is that a spot or is that cancer, is that sunburn or is that cancer, did I just forget my phone or is that dementia, what was that thing I forgot and did it matter, was it dementia setting in, was that just heartburn or was it a palpitation, is my heartbeat regular enough, did it just stop, is this sleep or did I just try to die, why am I waking myself up to check that I'm still alive.

What is it this week, a chesty cough, what was it last week, an aching arm, and the week before, diarrhoea, and before that, constipation, is that a lump on my anus, oh god, not that, anything but that, please, I'd rather the earache and strange pain in an unknown organ, then a look in the mirror and another, more favourite organ, suddenly feels not as it once was.

Have I really been bad with my teeth, or are they falling to pieces because that's what they do, no time to dwell, have to be at the doctors in the morning, hopefully it's nothing, but it's probably cancer, if only I could get to sleep, ah here it comes, sleep, the best part of the day, so cosy, so soft, drifting away, drifting away, drifting away, ACK, wait! No I'm not!

lackblogger said:

what was once bald is becoming hairy.

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Man, I've got an A in anatomy, but never heard of this, seriously.
Could be some sort of biological phenomenon.

Might be a female thing!!

Interestingly enough, becoming older has made me more introverted and less patient. When I used to take the Myers Briggs test, from about 16-32 I was a very solid ENFP. In the past five years or so I've been identifying far more with an INFP personality type, and testing as such. I generally am not as interested in spending my time with people or in large gatherings as much as I am spending quality time with my family. I find myself simply not wanting to waste my time around people unless they're "my tribe" - family or a few close friends.

Socially I'm still extroverted when out in public, but it's forced. It no longer comes naturally.

I had a wicked and miserable youth, and am enjoying middle age much more.

I do notice an involuntary grunting noise these days when I bend over to pick up a dropped die from a board game. I'm a little unhappy about that, but it's manageable.

I'm middle aged, but still feel really young at heart. Make sure you exercise, and try to work on your diet, to eat good food, and its nice to be active and go do things. (and not just play computer games cooped up in the house all day, though I definitely see the appeal of that)... (grin)

Another thing that helps to keep things fresh is to meet new people, because they can bring many new ideas and energy into your life. Also, read books, and try to keep learning as much as you can, you can never stop learning, improving, and reaching new peaks.

BoboTheMighty said:

Man, I've got an A in anatomy, but never heard of this, seriously.
Could be some sort of biological phenomenon.

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Denial wont prevent their growth!

Well, besides gaming (computer and boardgames) I still play volleyball twice a week. However being 43 the small injuries that used to take a few days to recover from now take weeks.

Because of that, last year I was pemanently injured, when my shoulder was ok, my hip joint started to ache. When my hips was ok, my shoulder started again.

I dont mind getting wrinkles and grey hair (even Clooney does not have grey hair like me, ha ha). I do hate the fact that my body does not recover as fast as it used to do.

Even hangovers take longer to recover from....

Im 47 and still play softball twice a week, work out at the gym, and run roughly 3 miles a day a couple times a week. So physically Im still in good shape, although Im certainly not 27 anymore!

I think the thing that has effected me most with age is seeing all of my elder loved ones getting sick and or passing away, and knowing that will be me soon. My father became extremely debilitated due to diabetes and not really taking care of himself, and seeing him whither away like that made me very cynical and jaded. My wife said Im breaking out of that now, but its been very depressing for me lately, even though I have a good job, great marriage, and two great kids.