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February 17th, 2020, 16:08
Well purpleblob has left; or at least is threatening to do so. It seems RPGWatch is somewhat cancerous to the female audience. Note I include myself in this. It is easy to get aggressive when posting an argument and this isn't conducive to keeping our more sensitive members happy.

I actually had a talk with a female moderator several years ago. She thought I hated her and I really thought she was great. It's just that our tastes differed and I would disagree with her in many gaming posts. She ended up leaving, but I'm pretty sure we had ironed out our differences. I've tried to change my posts to attacking the subject matter rather than the poster, but the line gets fuzzy sometimes.

I'm trying to think of female members that even bother to post much:
Eye and Zloth are about it. Jaz and GG post on occasion and we could have several female posters who don't out themselves as female. I know I wouldn't if I was a girl.
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February 17th, 2020, 17:02
Many members left for some reasons, but because most of members are male or present themselves as male I can't be sure the site is cancerous for females.

Most probably the sensitiveness you've mentioned is the key. I mean it's an online site with a variety of characters and even more different opinions. It's impossible to remain "unscatched".

What needs to be changed for the better, dunno.
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February 17th, 2020, 17:07
Scaring off? Hardly a good start, nut.
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February 17th, 2020, 17:32
You raise an important issue, 'nut. I'm not sure what to do about it. except for everyone to be a bit critical to their own posts. I try to do that, but I can't guarantee that I always succeed.

It's not always women who suffer from "scaring" posts, of course. But at least some places seem to be more hostile to women that men. That being said, personally I think the watch is among the better sites, but there's still room for improvement.

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February 17th, 2020, 17:34
On the contrary, rpg watch is one of the most "harmless" and well behaved forums I have ever seen. I liked purple blob, a shame to see her go, but just because not everyone shares your opinion or tastes is no reason to leave a forum. Just think how boring this place would be if we were all forced to agree with each other. There would be no point in even posting really. I won't bring up politics except to say, when one side is convinced that any held opinion different than their own must be wrong or even evil, and are convinced that their way is the only way, they are the ones who very likely are actually in the wrong. (just a general comment and it has nothing to do with this situation in particular)

To sum up, its fine to have a different opinion, even one strongly held and passionate such as thinking turn based is superior to real time combat - or vice versa - just don't expect everyone to agree with you.
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February 17th, 2020, 17:35
If this site covered more mobile games it would have more female members..
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February 17th, 2020, 17:37
Well, rudeness has become more of a thing here at the Watch recently. Again, not saying I'm innocent of this either. I can be as snarky as anyone on a given day. I'm thick-skinned though, so if someone disagrees with me I really don't give two fecal deposits. That may not be the case with everyone and perhaps we need to scale it back. Just a thought.

We've lost a ton of regulars in the last 3 years and I don't know if it's attrition/age or something else. Should I change topic title? Losing our regulars perhaps?
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February 17th, 2020, 17:45
ok, fine, new rule says we all must say we love real time combat and anyone who thinks differently and likes turn-based instead is a misogynist pig.
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February 17th, 2020, 17:48
I'm in internet chats/forums since 1990. So I have learnt a few things:
  • respect your discussion partners
  • respect their opinion and arguments
  • try to understand the viewpoint from others
  • exchange arguments in a polite way
  • don't try to overpower discussion partners - if they have a different opinion after exchanging arguments simply agree to disagree
  • don't feed trolls - they only have fun with your anger
  • brace yourself in "holy" discussions like "What is an RPG?"; "turn-based vs. real time vs. RTwP" etc.
  • don't go ad hominem
  • simply leave a discussion when there is nothing more to say
  • last but not least: be friendly and make a joke now and then - it is a hobby not work!
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February 17th, 2020, 18:01
Originally Posted by crpgnut View Post
It seems RPGWatch is somewhat cancerous to the female audience.
Well, I don't see things that way here. Or at least, I wouldn't say that.

Originally Posted by crpgnut View Post
Note I include myself in this.
I know you spoke for yourself but as for me, I don't (include myself in this).
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February 17th, 2020, 18:13
@crpgnut
Afaik @Zloth is a man

I don’t agree this site is scaring off the female members, well, not anymore.
In the old days it seemed to be more of a man’s place, thanks to some remarks that were made by some (a small minority, I think). We have a new TOS now that tries to deal with all those unpleasant things, and I’m very strict seeing everybody acts accordingly.

If a female member complains to me via PM I’ll investigate the matter, with a 100% attention, since I think it is important for this site to have female members. I know I am not alone in this and that all moderators and administrators would act the same.

I don’t know if female members are more sensitive. I doubt that. I can think of some men that are rather touchy. It just depends on your personality, I think.
Apart from that, everybody likes to get a compliment now and then, or the idea (some) people appreciate what you’re saying. Or doing. (With a few exceptions.) It is human.

Not saying we should turn this place into a ‘make love not war’ area, just saying I can understand people leaving when they got the idea they are alone and on their own - especially when something else is happening irl, that demands (too) much attention, so there is little patience left to deal with the more unpleasant posts on top of that. I have seen over the years this is often the case, that something else is going on. Not saying this is the case with @purpleblob though.
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February 17th, 2020, 18:18
Originally Posted by HiddenX View Post
I'm in internet chats/forums since 1990. So I have learnt a few things:
Also, please add these as well:
  • be aware that everybody knows everything yet nobody knows anything. Fact.
  • always respect that everybody knows better anything than you. Their loss.
  • always be aware that no one understands your greatness. Your loss.
  • remember, that your wisdom is just a bunch of bytes on a server. Meaningless.
  • always laugh hard on the absurdity of the internet
  • laugh harder when you realize that you are part of it
  • switch off now and then and do not forget to walk the dog/kids/husband.
Finally, if in doubt, grab your interstellar traveling towel and:
loading…


/sarcasm
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February 17th, 2020, 18:31
Is this a sausage thread?

[removed, NSFW]
Last edited by Eye; February 17th, 2020 at 18:41. Reason: Removed youtube video. NSFW
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February 17th, 2020, 20:25
Originally Posted by Arkadia7 View Post
but just because not everyone shares your opinion or tastes is no reason to leave a forum.
I agree with your assessment about the Watch being rather tame. Still, at some point, it can become tiring to face nothing but contrary opinions. Even if they are presented in a polite and well-meaning way. Then, it may be time to leave not because the community as such is "bad", but simply because your interests are diverging. At least, that did happen to me in the past.
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February 17th, 2020, 22:32
I never felt the site was overly hostile - its one of the nicer sites by far compared to what I have seen on many other forums. For the most part I feel safe and comfortable here.

The only thing that bothers me are now and then a few folks like to attack people for their game taste (i.e. anyone who likes this game must be a mindless idiot with no taste … as a mild example) which I think does nothing to promote a discussion.

If I get really upset over a thread I just back away and stop posting/visiting for a while. Then return once it has faded. Best not to fuel a fire, let it burn out from lack of attention.
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February 18th, 2020, 00:27
Well… why is she leaving? As far as I know it has nothing to do with her being a woman but of course I don't know for sure.

We have many male posters who have left over the years, and that has never lead to a discussion of male sensitivity, so to me that's a bit far fetched and slightly insulting towards women. I do however realise that female posters will be in a minority and I acknowledge that could be ONE reason for someone to feel out of place, but it feels like generalisation to claim that's what has happened here.

@txa1265 honestly curious, what has been a condescending sexist dismissal in this thread?
Last edited by TomRon; February 18th, 2020 at 12:24.
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February 18th, 2020, 01:37
I would rather lose someone who's harassing our members, be they male or female, rather than the innocent folks. That type of behaviour just doesn't seem like it goes with this site at all. And if someone is harassing a member I would hope they'd bring it to the attention of someone in authority here, rather than leave us. Because if there is one person being attacked, there are likely others as well.
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February 18th, 2020, 02:13
Always liked Purple. Hope she's not leaving.

I hope we don't scare the ladies. I always like having them around. For one year of my schooling, I lived on an all-male dorm floor. Yeah, that really sucked.
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February 18th, 2020, 02:24
I don't claim to follow every conversation or thread here so I agree that if someone is harassing purpleblob or others then that is wrong of course and maybe they should be given a warning or something to stop them from engaging in that behavior.

What I have noticed is there is an occasionally really snarky or insulting comment here, but from what I have seen, it usually comes from people who don't post much and have like under 100 posts or so. Most of the "regulars" seem ok to me, but maybe one or two do seem a bit obnoxious or argumentative at times, but that is just how some people can be on forums. I haven't seen it go over the line but don't read every thread either so maybe I missed something.

Anyway, I think Eye does a superb job as moderator and almost always agree with her takes and comments regarding moderation here.

Lastly, may I dare suggest that rpg gaming is mostly a male hobby and there is nothing wrong with that. Just like there is nothing wrong with certain hobbies that are female oriented and attract mostly females. There are, in fact, many hobbies which attract primarily either males or females and that is just the way it is. It's silly to think all hobbies will have equal amounts of males and females, that isn't the way the world works (thank god)
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February 18th, 2020, 05:44
Originally Posted by crpgnut View Post
I'm trying to think of female members that even bother to post much:
Eye and Zloth are about it. Jaz and GG post on occasion and we could have several female posters who don't out themselves as female. I know I wouldn't if I was a girl.
Oh sweet! Nope, not a gal. Even got a beard. But I think it's cool that you got confused. Gotta love the internet! Now, am I right handed or left handed?

RPGs are more male dominated but I *do* think there's something wrong with that. There should, IMHO, be about as many aimed at women as are aimed at men, with the majority being aimed at both. This tradition of "guys making games for guys" is economically crazy! (I think they need to start aiming at the pensioner/retiree crowd, too, but that's another topic.)
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