Return of the Daily Smile

#8--I think we have the same thing going on in Congress.

Back to back winners on those two posts, dte.
 
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http://www.rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml
There are so many stupid quotes in here I couldn't pick out my favourites without doing a lot of cutting and pasting. I just have a few silly sites like this in my favourites for a laugh when I need one.
 
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There are some real good ones in those list :D
 
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For the win:
* Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
* Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
* Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
* Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
Great site, Kayla. :)
 
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True story I came across today. Gave me a giggle.

Overheard In New York said:
(family stands facing the empire state building)
Tourist son: Mom, which one is the Empire State Building?
Tourist mom: I think it's the one with the circley top. (points to the Chrysler Building)
Tourist dad: No, honey, it's the one way out there, on the water.
Tourist son #2: That's the Statue of Liberty. (to no one in paritcular) I can't believe I'm part of this fucking family.
Click to expand...
 
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Here's one of my favorites from one of my favorite places for random giggles. Voilà, [ http://www.engrish.com/ ].

cheerful-hamster.jpg
 
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magerette said:
For the win:
* Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
* Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
* Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
* Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
Great site, Kayla. :)
Click to expand...


Some sites add to this that the Witness was sued for this remark afterwards.
 
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ow He is great, especially achmed the dead terrorist, that is his best one :D
The first time I saw it, it cranked me up. Just hilarious.
 
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Since folks seem to be enjoying my temporary avatar, here it is in larger size for deeper enjoyment.
 

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dteowner said:
Since folks seem to be enjoying my temporary avatar, here it is in larger size for deeper enjoyment.
Click to expand...

Temporary? You.. pardon, the guy looks like he won't go anywhere soon for quite a while. ^^
 
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Dte, you know the Shoegazers title will make people confused now. I don't think that guy will have a clear look at his shoes. Other stuff, but not the shoes. ;)
 
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I'm stuck with it until they get the power back on at the house. I never sent any of my avatar files here to work. And I'm sure he can see his flip-flops if he gets down to business, since that probably will entail sitting up just a bit.
 
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Some topical humor for a change (via a comment on the Freakonomics blog):

“What is a SuperSenior Credit Default Swap?”
“Having a credit default swap on your balance sheet is like having an egg in your pantry to fall back on when you might miss supper. Just think of a very senior - say 70 year old - egg.”

“Why couldn’t the Bear protect his stern?”
“He was trying to shake the shit off his paws.”

Or one which may be from Switzerland: “AIG - American Innocence and Greed”.

“Goldman’s sacks? He is delivering them at Warren’s place”

“You mean Hardy borrowed that line from Morgan? ‘Another fine mess you’ve got me into, Stanley?’”

“What's the difference between a sack of manure on your lawn, and an investment banker?”
“One's a lying sack of shit, and the other is fertilizer.”

And finally:

“What's a liberal?”
“A conservative who's been mugged by Wall Street.”
 
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I'll see your one economics joke and raise you one political joke and, er...one pair of pants?


s-LOLSUSPENDAGAIN-large.jpg


God forgive me I just couldn't help it. :p
 
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