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Default Please somebody help me I am a wreck, something crazy is happening

December 8th, 2017, 15:51
I am at a coffee and beer kawiarenka or small coffee shop slash bar slash restaurant, and this woman is super friendly to me and even smiled to me as she noticed me when walking in. This is the second time Ive seen her here but I thought the first time she didnt care about me or only made eye contact that seemed kinf of cold and distant -- like she was judging me more than admiring me. Well Like I said, she is super friendly and right now I am sitting across from her but across a table and dont know what to do or say. Can anyone help? Im so nervous I keep sipping on a beer I bought on a whim even though I told myself I wont drink for a few days. She looks super hot and older too like in early to mid 40s but like she has super nice body like an ex stripper but kind of intelligent weird mix.

I really dont know what to do or say and feel super nervous. Like why would she even be intereste din me? Last time I was here some other dude was even hitting on her.
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December 8th, 2017, 16:21
I deleted the photo as I assume you have taken this image yourself and I doubt you have implicit or explicit approval from her to make her picture public and as such it is a violation of our Terms of Service.

As an answer to your question, the only advice I can give you is to talk to her. Ask her if she comes here often to start with, or something like that and take it from there. Ask her questions about her, which shows you are interested in what she does and who she is.
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December 8th, 2017, 16:25
I dont need permission if its in plain view, journalists take images of people all the time in public and they never ask for permission. if its in plain view you can take images if you want. Ive seen even fat mezicans in santa cruz take pics of udneraged girls on the beach from the bridge and they didnt seem to ask or care about permissions.
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December 8th, 2017, 16:31
It is not relevant what you think is allowed, it is not allowed on RPGWatch, it is also not allowed by the law of the country where this server is located. According to that law you do need permission to make a picture of a person public, unless there is a compelling reason that is more important than that person’s rights.
Dutch law, which is also applicable to RPGWatch, is less strict, but even under that law it is questionable, as it all boils down to the question if a bar is a public area or not, similar to a street.
In any case you are registered on RPGWatch, so you have to abide with the terms of service we have in place, which you didn’t, as it is simply not allowed according to those terms.

If you feel you are in your right, say to her that you have taken a picture of her without her knowing it and made it public, also without her knowing it. Perhaps she thinks you are awesome because of doing that.
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Last edited by Myrthos; December 8th, 2017 at 16:44.
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December 8th, 2017, 16:37
in usa or california you apparently dont because like i said in santa cruz there are plenty of weird men there taking pics of girls in bikinis.
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December 8th, 2017, 17:06
Irrelevant as that is not where the server is at.
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December 9th, 2017, 12:13
I wouldn't waste your time typing out replies to this.
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December 9th, 2017, 17:03
This guy just makes the best threads!
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December 9th, 2017, 19:11
Yeah, he has a great imagination and he was able to find a hot picture on the internet. Amazing!
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December 9th, 2017, 19:26
So she was nice and smiled at you. Thatís called being polite. Itís not a sign that she wants to be hit on all night. Women are nice and smile at me on a daily basis I donít get all nervous and assume they want me.

And, I definitely donít secretly take their picture and post it to the web. Thatís just creepy.

If she smiles at you and makes eye contact just smile back, say hi, maybe introduce yourself if she continues to make Eye contact. Donít be pushy or desperate. If this is the second time youíve seen her youíll probably see her again. Let something develop naturallyÖ.

Or just show her your post here and Iím sure you wonít have to worry about her smiling at you again.
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December 9th, 2017, 20:28
If you talk to her, I wouldn't mention the time you spent in jail in Australia for crossing borders to solicit a minor.
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December 10th, 2017, 00:05
Originally Posted by Lucky Day View Post
If you talk to her, I wouldn't mention the time you spent in jail in Australia for crossing borders to solicit a minor.
What? I thought that would be his opening line!
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December 10th, 2017, 12:07
It's snowing outside so I'm a bit bored. The discussion about the photo is interesting. I tend to think about these things from a personal viewpoint rather than a legal one, usually. For me the litmus test is if you did it to me what would I think?

If some-one took a "portrait" photo of me and posted it on the internet without my permission I would be happy to use physical violence on them. If some-one took a general photo of the coffee shop and I, along with others, was in the background then I am probably ok with that.

On the important question talk to her - the worse is she blows you off, the best is that you make a connection.
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December 10th, 2017, 12:16
I think, when you take a person's photo it steals their soul.

There - this is now a religious debate. Let's put it in P&R.
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December 10th, 2017, 12:29
Originally Posted by Ripper View Post
I think, when you take a person's photo it steals their soul.

There - this is now a religious debate. Let's put it in P&R.
Not only that each photo, reduces a person's life span by 5 minutes. This is what my grandma told me so it must be true!

Having said that she maybe wrong else the current selfie generation would have died out already! Hmm may be i wish its true!
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December 10th, 2017, 13:30
Makes sense if you consider how the rate of selfies drops sharply as people age and mature
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December 10th, 2017, 13:30
Every country has a different set of laws that cover taking pictures of people in public and in private. Street photography would however be impossible without allowing some things, there also being a grey area and doing it illegally.

I invested time in this for mine and my neighboring countries. In Germany you need permission to take someone’s picture and you need permission to make the picture public. It doesn’t matter if the picture is taking in private or in public. There are three exceptions for pictures taken in public. One is about taking pictures of a large crowd (it is undoable to get approval from everyone), the second is about the picture having news value and the third is about photographing public figures. Also if the person is not recognizable it is allowed.
In The Netherlands it is allowed to take pictures in public areas, where public areas is defined broadly and means any area where people can go without being invited or having to pay for access. So next to almost anything outdoors, this includes also shops and bars. However having the right to take a picture does not give you the right to make it public. For that permission is needed.
In Belgium there is no real law for it, however there are former court rulings that determine what is and isn’t allowed, resulting in something between Germany and The Netherlands. Both have the same exceptions as in Germany.

In any case, even if a picture in a bar is allowed, it is not allowed to make it public without approval of that person. And that approval needs to state what it is made public for. If you want to use it for another purpose that is not allowed.
There are more details, but in this case it was not allowed by any law that is applicable to RPGWatch. I am aware that the chance of anything happening because of it is small, but also from an ethical point of view there are issues with it, which combined, is why this is mentioned in the TOS as a no-go area.
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Last edited by Myrthos; December 10th, 2017 at 16:46.
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December 10th, 2017, 13:41
To me, it kinda goes without rules or saying that you don't just post pictures of random strangers and start talking about them behind their backs.

Not that I think I would personally fret about such a thing - but then again, I don't consider it very likely that people would bother in my case.

As for people who have "chosen" to be public and how that's another story - I think it's harmful and rather sickening that we, as a culture, think in that way. I absolutely do not support or understand why anyone should be subject to abuse by the media or the public just because they're so visible in their jobs.

Then again, I also have a lot of trouble understanding why actors or politicians are interesting in terms of their private lives. Why do we care if an actor gets caught with his or her pants down? What, exactly, does that have to do with the work? Nothing at all - and yet we all endorse the media focus on it.

I mean, we can recognise when people are good at what they're doing and appreciate them for that, but why go crazy?

Do we appreciate when the garbage guys take out the trash efficiently like masters? I guess that's not interesting.

It's as if people don't understand that people in the public eye are utterly and completely like everyone else - and it's exclusively our reaction to them that makes them any different on the surface. Sadly, a lot of them seem to buy into it and start seeing themselves as something beyond that.

I understand that it's relevant to some degree for certain fields - but the shame and humiliation aspect goes way, way beyond my understanding.
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December 10th, 2017, 13:54
Originally Posted by sakichop View Post
So she was nice and smiled at you. That’s called being polite. It’s not a sign that she wants to be hit on all night. Women are nice and smile at me on a daily basis I don’t get all nervous and assume they want me.

And, I definitely don’t secretly take their picture and post it to the web. That’s just creepy.

If she smiles at you and makes eye contact just smile back, say hi, maybe introduce yourself if she continues to make Eye contact. Don’t be pushy or desperate. If this is the second time you’ve seen her you’ll probably see her again. Let something develop naturally….

Or just show her your post here and I’m sure you won’t have to worry about her smiling at you again.
Early, rather at the beginning of my sociophobia therapy 7 years ago, I was asked by my therapist, while we were sitting in a smnall cafť, to just talk to another woman sitting over there. It was kind of a test.
I couldn't. I was sitting there, literally shaken with fear, and it was the pure horror to me to notice that there was one superior program - yes, I use the term "program" ! - running inside of me : A program made out of fear that kept me from talking to strangers. I triued to get up, I knew that i could do it, if I was normal, but my program kept me down. Fear to get … what's called "negative reactions" from others. She could have been shoutiung at me, for example, for harassing her. Or she could have beaten me. Or called the police … All valid possibilities in the mind of someone with social phobia.

Some behaviour just isn't "normal".
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December 10th, 2017, 17:00
Weird thread.
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