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March 6th, 2007, 23:55
I know I have posted this topic over and over again (at least on several forums I frequent/ed), but I don't think we had one like this at the Watch so far… it's all about your most memorable pen and paper roleplaying moments.


I'll start with my very first RPGing experience; my brother had been lured into the roleplaying trap by our cousin, fresh from the States. Because my brother loved RPGing so much, he decided others should participate in the fun as well… but he couldn't get my cousin's RPG at the time and place after he had left for the States again, so he bought the only RPG that was available then and there - Tunnels and Trolls. He studied the rules, asked our mother and me if we wanted to play, and off we went.
It took us over an hour to roll up the characters, and my mom started to get impatient. Finally my brother spoke the magical words…
Brother GM: "Okay. You two great heroes venture into the dungeon. Do you want to go left or right?"
Player Mom (reading the newspaper): "Mhm."
Player Jaz (scratching her head): "Ah, we are great heroes?"
Brother GM: "Er, yes. Left or right?"
Player Jaz (wondering what great heroes wanted to do in a dungeon): "Oh, let's go left."
Brother GM: "Okay. There's a dragon. What do you want to do?"
Player Mom: "Mhm."
Player Jaz (scratches head): "Um, attack it…?"
Brother GM (shrugs): "Okay."
Everybody rolls dice.
Brother GM: "Okay, Jaz and Mom, your heroes are wounded. What do you want to do now?"
Player Jaz: "Um, attack it again?"
Player Mom: (yawns)
Brother GM: "Okay." (rattle rattle). "You two are dead."
Player Jaz: "What? Why?"
Brother GM: "Because the dragon was much stronger than you. You had no chance to win against it."
Player Jaz: "Huh? I thought we were great heroes?"
Brother GM: "But the dragon was 8th level. You were just first level characters."
Player Jaz: "And now?"
Brother GM (shrugs) "That was it. The game is over."
Players Jaz and Mom (look at each other)
Player Mom: "What a stupid game."
Player Jaz: "One hour to create a hero and two minutes to lose the game?" (throws down character sheet) "This was the first and last time I played such an idiotic game."
Brother GM (starts to cry)


Despite the T&T debacle, my cousin finally managed to get me interested in roleplaying after all, and I actually had fun! He was a good GM, he really was, and when he was here for the summer holidays, we played each and every day… AD&D (first edition) at the time.
Unfortunately, though, my cousin *did* have a bad day from time to time… this was his worst by far:

Cousin GM (sitting down): "Today we'll start a new campaign. I prerolled some characters for you so we can jump into the action immediately." (hands us the character sheets) "There's a door in front of you."
Player Jaz (raises a finger after looking at her character sheet): "Sorry, Tim… just two questions: who are we, and why are we here?"
Cousin GM: "Unimportant."
Player Jaz: "You might at least tell us if we're indoors or outside?"
Cousin GM: "Uh… I never thought of that. - Anyway, the door openes, and you see a man."
Player Brother: "What does he look like?"
Cousin GM: "He carries a sword."
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March 7th, 2007, 00:15

Here are some of the more memorable scenes I jotted down back in ’97 during our fabulous Imperial Star Wars RPG campaign (D6). Since those are my notes, my character(s) feature quite prominently. *shrugs*

Participants (I used their online names here):
Universe, the GM: ‘Jellyfish’ Melkart (Imperial Navy); General Kloff (Imperial Army); Imogu City Administrator
VasqueZ: Rose (Imperial Navy), a quiet, pale but gutsy young navigations officer
Fuzzy: Serrin (Imperial Navy), probably the most inventive techie in the Imperial fleet
Spectre: Gorn (Imperial Stormtrooper, SDA 1503), a brownnosing little brat from a good family
SchwarzerBaron: Ortega (Imperial Stormtrooper, SDA 1502), a former farm boy and stormie volunteer who hates his rival for command of the unit – Tarn - with a passion
Jaz: Tarn (Imperial Stormtrooper, SSC 2001), a slightly naïve test tube boy (=clone, by demand of my GM) with proactive tendencies, to use a euphemism; Evril (another stormie, SSC 2018), an individual who was given a list of 21 secret orders by our GM at character creation. I had to memorize these orders, and Evril was expected to follow them at once, if issued, and at all cost.

The stormies enter a tavern; they’re looking for their local contact who is supposed to wait for them there. They’re in full armor. Instantly, the patrons fall silent and the band stops playing.
Tarn (to the band): „Play on. Play on!” (via helmet comm to Ortega) “Funny. This happens every time I come into a bar.”

After a short but brutal space battle, damaged Star Destroyer ‘Annihilator’ is adrift in an asteroid field. The highest ranking surviving naval officer - ‘Jellyfish’ Melkart – probably suffers from shock…anyway, he’s acting a bit strange. He has the only remaining navigation officer (Lt. Rose) arrested because the man dares to offer several possible solutions to the ship’s precarious engine problem, and now he’s thirsty.
Melkart (shouting across the navigation pit): “Blast, I need some wine! AT ONCE!”
A pale, trembling crew member hurries over to the acting captain, whips out a hip flask, pours some wine (or whatever is in the flask) into Melkart’s cup… and all across his sleeve. Melkart draws his blaster pistol and shoots the man. The body tumbles into the pit, the flask comes to rest near Melkart’s boot.
Tarn (via helmet comm to Ortega): „We must do something, or we’re all doomed!”
Ortega: „Correct.“ (picks up the hip flask; to Melkart): “Would you like to have some wine, sir?”

After the Annihilator affair (which ended with Tarn blowing a fuse and enacting a provisional execution against Jellyfish Melkart): debriefing by General Kloff, Goroth station commander.
General Kloff (to the stormies): „At ease, men.“ (to the rest, with a brief nod) “Gentlemen. Let’s begin. You uncovered a criminal plot, put down a mutiny, blew up your ship and killed a few pirates. Sounds like a rather peculiar way of executing your original order, which was to escort the old Star Destroyer back to Kuat Drive Yards for scrapping.“

After the debriefing.
General Kloff meets Tarn in one of the station’s corridors, and it’s pretty obvious that the stormie is not very happy.
General Kloff: „What’s up, Commander? You look like you wished yourself back to your tank.”
Tarn: “General Kloff, sir, I didn’t expect a promotion. Actually I expected to be shot.”
General Kloff (with a laugh): “Don’t worry, son, you’ll be shot soon enough.”*

Tarn (addressing his new batch of Storm Commandos): “Gentlemen, we are the good guys. Never forget this!”**

Planet Imogu.
The world’s capital suffers from a major terrorist problem. Because they don’t have any experience with Imperial troops, Imogu City administration expects the commando unit the Empire sent to investigate the problem to cause additional trouble.
The troops are on their way back from the briefing to the spaceport; they don’t know that their ship ‘Raptor’ is in orbit now due to a recent terror alert. Suddenly half the park and a whole civilian housing block nearby explode.
Tarn (via comm, watching shattered trees rain down all around them): „Come in Raptor, here’s Alpha.”
Rose: „Raptor here. What’s the matter?“
Tarn: „Prepare for take-off, Raptor, we’ve been attacked!”
Serrin (aboard the ‘Raptor’, to Rose): „Captain, another target lock. These dirtside terrorists seem to be everywhere at once.”
Rose (to Tarn): „I’ll take care of it.” (to Serrin): “Fire!”**
The second salvo from the ‘Raptor’s laser artillery destroys another city block, killing 381,000.

Several adventures later. Tarn - also known as SSC 2001 or Oh-One - is known for his sporadic murderous rages; after his 'fellow' Ortega finally managed to outmaneuver him (politically), he's thrown into the brig and can be heard clawing and screaming in the background during this scene.
Ortega (via military holonet, to General Kloff): "General Kloff, sir, I'm afraid we have a problem."
Kloff: "Yes?"
Ortega: "Sir, can I have Oh-One exchanged? He's gone nuts, and now we're one commando short for the mission." (points over his shoulder at the brig)
Kloff (raises a brow): "And what do you expect me to do about it?" (based on the fact that they're lightyears apart)
Ortega (pales): "Oh no, sir… don't tell me you lost the receipt!"

Coruscant, sewers.
Ten Imperial Storm Commandos speed through the narrow tunnels of Coruscant’s sewage system to get to their mission target, the Imperial Opera House.
Evril is the last man in line. Suddenly his helmet comm chirps – a message via the secret command channel.
Authoritative voice: “SSC 2018, enact order Krill.”
Evril (perplexed): “Krill? Are you sure?”
Authoritative voice: “Absolutely.”
Evril taps the man in front on the shoulder.
Gorn: „What?“
Evril: „Take me, stallion.”

* Well, the General was wrong there, Tarn collided with the pointy part of a vibroblade .
**This speech actually had my co-players in stitches.
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March 7th, 2007, 00:49
Okay here's one from a long time ago (the late 1980's)…

I was DM'ing a 2nd edition campaign in the Forgotten Realms (that I had heavily modified like I always do with off-the-shelf campaigns).

The party of adventurers consisted of a fighter, a thief, and a cleric (can't remember their races - it's just been too long). They were in the dungeon below the castle of an insane wizard who had been causing plenty of nastiness to the surrounding area. They had found a secret way into the dungeon from a natural cavern and they were making their way up to the castle.

The party had been carefully picking its way through the dungeon, making sure to be as stealthy as possible. They came to a door that was neither trapped, nor locked. Upon opening the door they found a simple room that was completely empty except for a pedestal in the center. Floating above the pedestal was a small globe made of an unknown material. The globe was about 2 inches in diameter and it was glowing. The light that it gave off was equivalent to that of a torch.

The group inspected the whole room, then carefully inspected the area around the pedestal and globe. They checked for traps, discussed what it may be, and tried to make a decision as to what they should do. It seemed so innocent, and yet ominous to them.

Finally after probably 15 minutes of actual time the thief of the party had had enough… he grabbed the globe. Nothing happened. It still gave off the glow, but other than that everything seemed fine. So, he put it in his backpack. When he did, everyone noticed that the globe was bright enough that it was shining through the pack. This was not good for a group of people who were trying to sneak around in an enemy's lair.

No matter what they did, they were not able to keep the globe from glowing through the pack, so the thief said "forget it" and placed the globe back on the pedestal. When he did this he learned the folly of his initial action of picking it up in the first place… The globe slowly rose and positioned itself over the head of the thief. No matter where he went it would float harmlessly above his head… harmlessly but annoyingly. This meant that he couldn't hide in shadows… couldn't sneak at all.

They tried everything, but nothing would make the globe stop floating above his head (other than putting it in something like the backpack). What the adventurers didn't know was that the insane wizard had created the globe as a magical torch of sorts. It would follow above the first person to touch it. The only way to make it stop was to intone the magical password, which only the wizard knew. So….

After trying everything that he and his friends could think of the thief was completely frustrated, and in that frustration he said "I stick the stupid thing up my butt".

He meant it as a joke, but I couldn't resist, after all he was "in character" when he said it. So I rolled for it (after coming up with the chances that he could succeed in such an endeavor), and he did it. Everyone had a laugh and thought it was finally over when I said… "Now the thief's butt is glowing"… at which point everyone completely lost it.

One of our players was quite the miniature painter. She came to the game the next week with a thief miniature that was painted in exacting detail. It was a great job, and it depicted the thief perfectly. She said, "That's not all… check this out". She then turned off all the lights in the room… and sure enough the miniature metal thief's butt was glowing (she had used phosphorescent paint).

The guy who played the thief used that mini for all of our games until his job moved him out of state. He then gave the mini to me… and I still have it to this day… and to this day, it still glows in the dark.
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March 7th, 2007, 01:32
And they say that's the place where the sun don't shine!!
If God said it, then that settles it!!

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