Return of the Daily Smile

Very well made (by whoever did this) I wouldn't even call this a joke.
Should be in any (A)D&D package.

I'm not sure if this has been posted before.

A couple enter a doctor's office.
"Doctor, please help us. We are having trouble having sex", the man says. To which the doctor replies "Off course. How can I help ? What is wrong ?".
The woman says "Doctor, we aren't sure but something is wrong. Can you please watch us and tell us what's wrong ?". The doctor is startled by the request, but is very curious so assents to their request.

So the couple enter a room at the practice, undress, start having sex in front of the doctor. At the end, the woman asks "Doctor, doctor… did you find out what is wrong with us ?" The doctor, still a bit in shock shakes his head and says "No, no! Everything went fine. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong." The man says "Alright then. I hope you are right doctor. How much do we owe you?". The doctor says "50 dollars". So the man pays and the couple leaves.

A week later, the couple comes back to the doctor's practice. "Doctor, it is happening again. Something is wrong. Please help us.", the man pleads. The doctor nods his head and lets them in a room. The couple undress in front of him and make passionate love in his office. It takes about thirty minutes for the whole thing to be over and the doctor says "Look, there really is nothing wrong from my point of view." The woman looks at him "Doctor, how can you be so sure ? It still doesn't feel right!". The man pays him the 50 bucks and they leave.

Another week passes and the couple is back. The doctor sighs and just lets them into the room. They undress, and work at it in a few different positions in front of the doctor. At the end of the ordeal, the doctor unhappy about the couple coming back all the time says in a loud voice "Look! There is nothing wrong with you. Will you please tell me why you keep coming back here?!". The man, who was counting 50 dollars in his wallet says "Doctor, it's actually quite simple. We just want to have sex, but renting a room at the hotel costs 150 bucks a night, and you only charge 50 dollars." The man pays the doctor and the couple leave.

Some of these may perhaps be slightly NSFW, especially the device on number seven, said to be anatomically contoured.

pibbur who regrets his decision to experimentally live off the income he can expect when he retires (which actually works very well).

PS: One more thing: Click http://www.belch.com/img/combover.JPG for the ultimate Trump. DS.

PS2. Yet another more-thing: Did you know that there is a patent for combovering? You'll know after clicking on this: https://www.google.com/patents/US4022227. AFAIK it's real (but at least partially meant as a joke).DS2

uroclub

A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary hospital. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the Vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Polly has passed
away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room returning a few moments later with beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet led the dog out but returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and also sniffed delicately at the ex-bird. The cat sat back, shook its head, meowed and ran out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry; but like I said, your parrot is most definitely, 100% certifiably …dead."

He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my bird is dead?!"

The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would only have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, what did you expect?"

Originally Posted by Pladio
…
The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would only have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, what did you expect?"

Hilarious!!! And also to the point - in medicine today we perform far too many lab/xray examinations.

This requires of course the comment given below, even if many of you obviously have seen it before:


pibbur who is Norwegian, but doesn't wear any blue clothing.

Originally Posted by pibbur who
pibbur who is Norwegian, but doesn't wear any blue clothing.

…but lives in a totally blue callbox!

Originally Posted by crpgnut
…but lives in a totally blue callbox!

Ouch! Fixed.

pibbur who may want to change the change.

Inspired by JDR's latest windows 10 experience, here's a couple of windows jokes:

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a “great" writer. When asked to define “great" he said “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

Q: What do houses and Microsoft Windows have in common?
A: Bugs come in through open Windows.

Windows, just another pane in the glass.

And of course my all-time favourite:
The only thing that Microsoft could make that didn't suck would be a vacuum cleaner.

pibbur who actually can remember a few very good MS products.

PS. I actually found a few windows 10 jokes:


DS.

The anatomy of songs:




The following link includes my favoutirte, progressive metal: https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/gu…1407578222.png

More anatomy lessons can be found here: https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/gu…1406821897.jpg

pibbur who loves and actually knows a lot about human anatomy.

PS: These pictures were rather big. Should I instead displaying them just have given general verbal links to them?

Yet another music joke:


pibbur who doesnt like any of the alleged two types of music: country and western

Wow, I am funny today.

pibbur who wonders if it has got something to do with Norway's birthday, but doubts it as he doesn't pay much attention to it, spending his time playing FO4

Pictures are great! Better to me than descriptions

@Pibbur

Not feasting on cakes and drinking since breakfast, today?

I've had a piece of something cake alike. And now it's time for strawberries and ice cream. As for drinking - I've had a cup of coffee or two (I don't drink alcohol)

Pibbur who will drink another cup after finishing this post..

Very moderate. Curiously, I drink alcohol but not caffeine.

Originally Posted by Ripper
Very moderate. Curiously, I drink alcohol but not caffeine.

Well, we will both need relatively frequent visits to lavatories if we drink a lot of it.

pibbur who in general doesn't have to visit said rooms very often, which means that his 61 year old prostatic gland still is of manageable size, not obstructing the urinary tract. And that this is perhaps is too much detail for some.

PS. Prostatic cancer is actually extremely common. 80% of 80+ year old men have microscopic signs of malignant growth in the gland, but in most cases it grows veeeery slowly and will not affect their lives. DS.

I don't tend to drink either cafine or alcohol

Originally Posted by lackblogger
I don't tend to drink either caffeine or alcohol

Yes, I also prefer to drink them both at once.

I drink lots of caffeinated drinks. All day long. If not, my heart would probably stop. Alchohol knocks me out too.