I wonder what's those frustration points for OP.
1. Top down view
If it's related to a lack of top down view, at least in some combats you need integrate yourself the solution through your combat management. Instead of just clicking to get a larger top down view, you need analyze the terrain to identify a position a character could reach to get an overview of the combat and still be well positioned. See it positively it's more challenging than a dumbing down push button to get a magic overview of the combat.
Once you get such position, pause and take your time look all directions with that character, take your tactical conclusions.
2. Reinforcement
Cancel the idea that reinforcement is destroying tactical value. Jagged Alliance series is a high value tactical series using reinforcements, and there's many other examples.
3. Reinforcement that popup from nowhere
Breeze deeply and quote it's a cinematic/realism problem. Replay Icewind Dale, and check all those ambushes with walls opening and enemies that popup right in your back and throw panic in the team. Such ambushes are no way less surprising, it's just they have a much more realistic implementation, it's not changing tactical value. Eventually summoning is classic in Fantasy, if it can help, imagine some summoners close by.
4. Potions stop work during an elapse time
That's not a bad change, that's a very good fix of a DAO design flaw. You just need adapt, the game is tuned for that.
5. Extra speed of most animations
If you was playing DAO by controlling a lot all characters, then for sure and relative speed increase will be bothering. I can't suggest anything because I never played DAO like that. What I can say is I saw video showing players managing it with DA2, et lest it seems possible.
6. Repetitions
DAO is a rather unique beast, with almost every single combat with its own hand crafted tuning and design. Hence combat diversity is totally unique for a RPG, except if you found some OP holes. It makes DA2 look weak on that aspect, but in reality, it's not that repetitive, it only has a few sequences that could turn bad if you did some choices in some orders. The most typical example is in town series of thieves combat, they can occur at very different time, or they can occur almost chained and with many similar aspects. That's unfortunate, but DA2 still has overall less repetitive combats than a ton of RPG.
7. Combats quality
If you think DA2 combats quality is very bad, then not sure you will be able play DAI because it has worse combats. And remind don't play anything Bethesda did, it's pure crap in comparison of DA2 on that aspect.
If DA2 is a weird rush, and in some aspects like an unfinished product. But it's less in combats, more for secondary quests design, areas badly reused (reuse is fine do it that way is absurd), and certainly a decrease in amount of content too significant compared to DAO. For combats, it's more minor, bad visuals/realism for reinforcement animations, some potential repetitions, not much more.
But also you can as well play DAI and skip DA2. Ok DAI has a few more links with DA2 than DAO, but you can as well play DAI and later if you want play DA2.
If you don't mind some DA2 spoilers, I think there's a DLC to simulate a play of DAO and DA2 to use in DAI as if it was an import of a save coming from DAO then DA2. Not sure.