People rarely REALLY like each other - they just like what they perceive to be good aspects about each other - and then the brain substitutes the rest of the person with similar qualites - that may or may not be complete fantasies.
The more we like those perceived aspects, the more we're willing to overlook in terms of negative traits. Sometimes to the extent that we never recognise them at all.
At other times, however, the people we thought we liked the most end up having some really unfortunate aspects that we end up being unable to ignore.
I guess that's why so many people end up leaving each other these days, as we're no longer terribly dependent on staying together in a practical sense.
We tend to not know each other very well at all, except in those rare cases where we truly understand what goes on behind the surface - which, in my experience, is almost never.
Being connected doesn't mean we understand each other better, it just means we have more people that we don't understand.
But there's a big difference between being exposed to what other people are doing much, much more - and then things being worse.
I actually think things are much better today than they were 50 years ago, and I know statistics will back me up here when it comes to basic needs met and overall "quality of life" parameters.
But that's in terms of the boring "real life" stuff that actually matters - and not in terms of projecting a perfect image of ourselves on Facebook - and measuring up to impossible (and pretty useless) standards.
It's just that this "connection" has brought exposure of what's happening all over the world on a completely new and unprecedented level.
Unfortunately, we're still drawn to misery and disaster - which is nothing new. That was always the case.
Today we have the opportunity to wallow in it if we wish - because there's always a new variety somewhere online. Also, it seems we do wish it.
Of course, I'm not a typical human being - because I'm unusually disconnected from what other people think about me. I was always like that - which means I never felt much pressure in school - or anywhere else. I never particularly doubted myself - and I was never compelled to ingratiate myself to anyone.
When I say other people, I mean people who're not already very close to me and whose opinions I have no particular reason to value.
I understand that this is NOT an easy time to be a young person who's "normal" - meaning, a person who's very concerned about being liked or appreciated by his or her peers. Facebook is most definitely a big part of creating a perceived reality of perfection - because you can present yourself as perfect.
When I say perfect, I really mean "great with just the right amount of trendy flaws" - which is what seems to be the popular image on FB, as far as I can tell.
Unfortunately, since most people really DO care what other people think of them - they will want to present themselves in as positive a light as possible, which means only a minority will be considered "the greats", because the things we perceive to be of value - at least as young people who don't know any better - are rare and hard to achieve.
I don't know how to be a parent - because I never was one. All I know is what my own parents did - and what must have had something to do with me not playing this losing game of always having to be great in social circles.
They loved me - and then they loved me some more. My father also managed to pass on his impenetrable ego to me. My siblings never really got it - for some reason, but I certainly did.
I guess I never felt I really needed anyone outside my family. I had plenty of friends - but, truth be told, I could take them or leave them.
I never invested in the social mechanics in school - or at any place of work. I'm not there to socialise, afterall.
Strangely enough, that kind of attitude got me a lot of unwarranted respect, but I'm not sure that's true for girls. I think girls (and women) are harder on each other when you refuse to play the social game.
I don't know if it's necessarily a good thing - but I do know that I'm very, very happy about not being in the game.
I wish kids were smarter about realising their own worth. As in, I wish they understood that there's no way to measure the value of a human being that holds up - and you could never be better or worse than what you are. We all make mistakes and we're all severely flawed and laughably weak and incompetent - especially when we're young.
But there's no shame in that - and there's no reason to compete unless you're absolutely certain the price is worth the effort, which it rarely is.
Some people never get that - and they strive their entire lives for the approval of others - and that's never quite enough, because the approval they're missing is really their own - and they never give themselves that break.
I'm rambling…. I don't know if any of that made sense
