Facebook and others...

[CelticFrost]

I don't use Facebook or any other social media period. Sometimes I think this is odd of me not too when I think back how invest I use to be in computers.

Anyways after JD post which talked about gym and energy drinks.I started to think about my 20 plus years in the gym and how I might after taking a year off miss it.

Long story short a kid I took under my wing for four years and trained to be a body builder. Last June after his first pro show we had a falling out. I stopped training, sold my home gym and stopped talking to him completely.

It was very hard on me because he became like a son to me. He came to my families functions including with my parents and brother and sister families. I spent more time with him some weeks than my wife and children in the gym.

I never use facebook like I said above but my wife has it so I logged into her account to see what he has been up too. It was really odd to me not only his life but so many peoples life's are there. The good the bad whatever they have posted and I just don't get it.

I guess after almost a year I wanted to know he was doing okay. The selfish part of me wanted to know if he still gave me any praise for where he is in his profession.

 

[lackblogger]

There's nothing like the occasional noseybook.

I once went to look up all my school friends from my adolescence. Not one of the people I actually liked I could find, just about every single bully-boy or dropout or father at 16 was represented though… but I didn't really have any reason to nosey them. What a waste of time, indeed.

(no offence to all the folks who use Noseybook for commercial reasons)

 

[CelticFrost]

There's nothing like the occasional noseybook.

I once went to look up all my school friends from my adolescence. Not one of the people I actually liked I could find, just about every single bully-boy or dropout or father at 16 was represented though… but I didn't really have any reason to nosey them. What a waste of time, indeed.

(no offence to all the folks who use Noseybook for commercial reasons)

Ya now I am into a deep conversation with him after almost a year. I am surprised how well I am holding myself in this conversation with him.

I really just want to let lose ...

 

[lackblogger]

Ah, the ol' polite or honest dilemma... I normally start out polite then ruin it all by getting honest. I say ruin it, but the polite part is always more crap than any possible outcome of honesty. Being polite when you want to exchange meaning is like drifting in the void of purgatory, even more depressing than a possible result of never speaking to someone again. At least with full honesty you can feel self-fulfilled and most likely at least garnered respect. It's a well know fact that suppressing emotions can cause all kinds of random rage at obscure unrelated future moments.

 

[GothicGothicness]

It's tough sometimes these days to not use any kind of social network ( which I do not do ) because people will contact everyone they know through there, and they'll invite to events there and so on, so if you are not there you can get kind of left out.

However it is also a great relief to not be in any of those I think this + is bigger than the negatives.

 

[Ripper]

It's tough sometimes these days to not use any kind of social network ( which I do not do ) because people will contact everyone they know through there, and they'll invite to events there and so on, so if you are not there you can get kind of left out.

However it is also a great relief to not be in any of those I think this + is bigger than the negatives.

I agree. I remember when Facebook launched, my instinct was immediately that I wanted no part of it. Social media is brilliant for political organisation, or promoting a band, and stuff like that. But granting a record of my life to a private company to use as they see fit, and the constant pressure of communication with dozens of people? No thanks.

 

[Sacred_Path]

Twitter is the only social media I peruse and am a member of.

It's great for the occasional funny message from your favorite celeb (or game devs in my case ) and sometimes even getting a question answered. It's not per definition an "I put my entire life on display" service like Facebook or other networks, which makes it much more pleasant. Most people, especially those posting under their real name from a responsible position, don't flood it with silly pictures like Instagram and in general since you have to be brief information is concise.

 

[Ripper]

Yes, I have more regard for twitter. It can be useful, and it is clearly meant for public broadcasting, so there is no expectation of privacy. Seems fair enough to me. My biggest beef with it is how everyone seems to love getting up in arms every time someone puts their foot in their mouth.

 

[Kordanor]

The first years I saw Facebook more as a platform for browsergames, which it probably was and I kept my distance.

Today I use it for a couple of reasons:
-I use it to stay in contact with people I worked with. That doesn't mean that I we write each other at all sometimes, but I find it nice to know what happened to certain people
-I mainly use it as news pool /feed, much like an RSS feed. PC Gamer for example did a big overhaul of their page, which now looks like crap. Browsing there is a pain in the ass. However they post the most interesting news on facebook. Other Developers I follow in facebook are inXile, Spiderweb, the Deadstate guys, the Xulima Guys, the Expeditions Conquistador guys and many, many others. So if I scroll through facebook only 30-50% of the posts there are actually from friends. The biggest part is from companies, developers and news pages.
Also as most of my friends share the same interests, they also find and post gaming related news, or maybe just fun finds. And that is also how I contribute myself…most of my postings are actually remarks to kickstarter projects or something similar.

So in the end it's a nice package of keeping in contact with people, staying up to date and being entertained.

I also don't hesitate to hide stuff or people. If someone is just posting pictures of food or he only uses facebook for comments on recent football games, I have no problem with hiding them completely. Same with certain pages or games popping up. It's quite comfortable to just hide them all and leave the rest which is actually interesting to you personally.

In comparison to that Twitter is just a chaotic mess in my eyes. Never became friends with that platform.

For todays standards you are probably the weirdo for not using facebook. And a company might see you as anti-social if you keep your distance to facebook. So I wouldn't search for any advantages in that regards to keep away from it.

But I can kinda understand it. Personally I never had a mobile phone or wrote a SMS.

 

[Arkadia7]

I do all my commenting on youtube these days. Politics related videos mostly. And I use my real name too when commenting on youtube. I don't care any more. I used to be paranoid about it, and use anonymous handles, but no longer. What's funny is I am also on Facebook, and don't really use it, but I got a new friend request from someone who I guess really liked one of my comments on a youtube video, they actually went to the trouble of seeing if I was on facebook and then friend requested me. I just thought it was kind of amusing how this sequence of events happened, and surprisingly the person seemed like a really cool person (they are some kind of scientist, or scientific activist involved in diseases research and scientific ethics, not kidding)

Also, I agree that it is best to be utterly honest when dealing with some interpersonal situations, but of course it varies, depending on whether you really want to see or be friendly with the other person again. If you are not concerned about such things, then being truthful in your communication with them is best in my opinion. If they don't like that you are being truthful, then they will not communicate back to you. But if they respect that you are being honest, then they will communicate, and the relationship can continue, on a new and promising ground.

 

[joxer]

Recently I met up with a good friend I haven't seen for more than 15 years. It is a life thing, we just took different paths and don't live close any more.
It was nothing planned, we met basically by an accident but decided to go for a drink. Both of us couldn't believe how fast the time passed and how in fact we missed each other, old topics we didn't have a chance to talk about with anyone were just popping out like crazy.

In the end the question was shall we exchange at least phonenumbers - we both decided not to. If we're destined to meet again after 15 years more to share experiences again, it'll be more fun. More exciting.

Kill the bloody social network. You don't need it now, you won't need it ever. Embrace the life, do not let a social network to dictate your day.

 

[Kordanor]

Nice story but a weird conclusion. It's like saying to your brother "let's not meet for 10 years, so that we can celebrate when we meet again later".

I think the art is to find the right balance.

 

[Sacred_Path]

I have a hard time believing anyone would run into trouble at their job for not having Facebook.

Like with many things, it's not problematic as long as it stays within reason. But when something gets so big people automatically assume they can access information about your private life on the net, it becomes something very unpleasant, and something better not supported.

joxer, I can sympathize. I think a lot of "keeping in touch" can become very superficial very quickly, which is actually worse than not having any contact at all. Let's not forget how infamously overused the word "friend" has become in social media.

 

[Kordanor]

You probably won't get into trouble for not having facebook if you already have the job. I am more thinking about applying to a position, especially if it involves something like press or community. It isn't really news that recruiters from HR also check your name on facebook. If they don't find you there when they are doing their routine check this could cause questions.

The thing about facebook and privacy is also that people assume that strangers or friends can access all the information about you. Thing is, that they won't be as long as you don't share it. If you don't want your co workers know that you are driving tanks in your free time, you should neither mention it to a gossip monger at work, nor post about it on facebook.

 

[Sacred_Path]

Not sure how often this would even occur, but I guess you could easily justify your lack of a Facebook profile with data security concerns. Of course if you're applying as social media commentator, welp, you should have thought about that in the first place

The thing I find more problematic is the very concept of you sharing your life online - I'm well aware that I can make content exclusive. But the expectation is there for you to share. I don't mind people doing it, but I'm staying well away from it.

The peer pressure is real. When my gf was sick and she wanted to be up to date at uni about classes and especially tests, she often had to question people explicitly because the relevant stuff was all posted and share on Facebook.

 

[Kordanor]

The pressure to be on facebook, yes, that one is real I guess. I have a friend at work who isn't using facebook. But in the back of my head I basically assume that he saw everything posted there. So now and then there is a "oh...yeah, sorry, I forgot you couldn't have seen that"-moment.
However there isn't really any pressure to share anything. That might be different in a circle of teen girls or car enthusiasts, but I'd say that's not the normal case.

 

[Ripper]

The problem is that you also share your life with Facebook, for them to exploit as they see fit. I could well imagine risk profiles being drawn up for insurers, employers, colleges, etc.

 

[txa1265]

The positives greatly outweigh the negatives ... things like Facebook are excellent group communications tools, nice ways to keep up with friends and family from across the decades, and much more efficient than email or forums or even calling on the phone for people you cannot see every day.

I have to say that the haters make me smile ... decrying these things while using things that others said the EXACT SAME THINGS about in years past. Take from that what you will ...

 

[sakichop]

I was on Facebook for about a few months before suspending my account.

I think it can be a great tool to keep in touch with people who live far away or reconnect with people.

My problem was too many people I was friends with thought it was their own reality show website. I don't need pics of your breakfast or know that your brushing your teeth, taking a walk or heading to work. Over and over and over. You don't need to document your every movement.

2nd thing is people tagging me or checking me in if I'm with them. I only want people to know what I'm doing if I want them too. I don't need everyone else posting where I am or what I'm doing.

That leads me to the last thing. When I did get together with people there was nothing to talk about. I would start to tell them something and they would say yeah your wife or son or friend already posted that on FB.

Since I no longer have any living relatives that I can't easily commute to I saw no reason to keep up with the endless and useless posts on Facebook.

 

[DArtagnan]

I don't mind FB as a tool, but it reminds me too much of what people are like - so I make sure to use it as little as possible.