Regarding the giving and receiving of sexist offence

[Capt. Huggy Face]

Now, that made me laugh...given a little context.

 

[Myrthos]

I find it rather easy to draw the line. I don't accept what was posted in real life. I don't accept it when it is said to me or others in my presence. I don't accept it when said to my wife or children and don't accept it when it is said at work. in all cases I would respond to the person saying it. I also don't think it is funny for this reason.
I find it strange that I should find it acceptable when it happens online, or am supposed to just not look at it, as if it doesn't happen. I see no reason to lower my standards in that respect.

And intentions don't mean much. Unintentional insults, sexism or whatever are still just that.

Life is too short to be involved with things I don't really like anymore.

 

[Lucky Day]

Is see this is in the P&R forum now. Is there a reason I'm seeing it on the front page?

 

[Ripper]

I find it rather easy to draw the line. I don't accept what was posted in real life. I don't accept it when it is said to me or others in my presence. I don't accept it when said to my wife or children and don't accept it when it is said at work. in all cases I would respond to the person saying it. I also don't think it is funny for this reason.
I find it strange that I should find it acceptable when it happens online, or am supposed to just not look at it, as if it doesn't happen. I see no reason to lower my standards in that respect.

And intentions don't mean much. Unintentional insults, sexism or whatever are still just that.

Life is too short to be involved with things I don't really like anymore.

I don't really understand your distinction of what is posted "in real life". Surely if we put a message in our avatar or signature, it is as much a part of what we're communicating as anything else. It certainly is for me.

What I find strange is that you don't acknowledge what I'm saying about potentially (or clearly) sexist cartoons being OK in some circumstances, where it suits, yet unacceptable in others.

With regard to intent, I didn't wish to involve Mrs. Myrthos except insofar as to say that she posted that which could clearly be construed as sexist, (yet, IMO, should be judged more kindly), but other's posts are to be judged more harshly. And I do think intent matters. If you look at the defence here, and filter out the bits that are about implying my bad intent in lieu of an argument, it's about explaining intent:

FYI, 'chicks rule' was never meant as a joke:

When I first made an entrance at the former RPGWatch site, it was to thank people for donating money, after Myrthos and I payed for it for quite some time. People donated generously and I, like, Myrthos wanted to express my gratitude.
Since nobody knew me, I thought it would be nice to choose an avatar that showed people I was not just anybody, pretending to be the site owner's wife as some sort of joke, but someone who really had an important say in site's matters.
'Chicks rule' made that pretty clear.

 

[Taluntain]

Is see this is in the P&R forum now. Is there a reason I'm seeing it on the front page?

The display on the front page is not properly updating the location of the thread; it's still showing it in Off-topic where it was posted originally and not in the P&R where I moved it. I'll put it on the to-do to fix.

 

[Capt. Huggy Face]

Is see this is in the P&R forum now. Is there a reason I'm seeing it on the front page?

That's pretty funny, too.

 

[MrsMyrthos]

I think you are tiresome Ripper.

You really think 'chicks rule' is a sexist joke? Well, saying THAT is a joke.
I see no 'chicks' ruling anywhere. Do I see women rule? Hardly, it is a men's world.

(Not in my marriage though.)

O, and judging a joke by turning it 180° is not the way to see whether a joke is OK or not. Same goes for jokes being told about minorities or oppressed groups by those minorities/groups themselves. 'Aw those blacks/homosexuals/women are saying .... so I as a white/straight/man can say the exact same thing about them'.

My avatar was NOT a sexist joke. It was challenging authority. Myrthos authority. The joke is: Myrthos is my husband, and I do not want to behead him. 'O geez, really? Who'd have thought?' :/

So why don't you just shut up about me, my intent and my old avatar - using that just hoping to corner Myrthos, again and again.

One more thing.
Stereotypical jokes about blacks, Jews, you think are not ok, "unlikely to be taken in good humour", but hey, when women are concerned (almost?) everything goes as you are concerned? "The women I know can take a joke". You are sure they are not just laughing along with you to avoid the hassle, and not to be the partypooper? And mind you, you KNOW them, they know you. You are on a forum here.
Start telling some demeaning jokes about yourselves, instead of the other. It is easy to piss on others, and it lacks every creativity to piss on those being pissed on already far too often.

 

[MrsMyrthos]

Life is too short to be involved with things I don't really like anymore.

I agree. After seeing that last post in the daily smile thread by some man providing all sorts of superfluous details about his own likes and desires (if I were him with his assumptions I'd look down to check my sex), I think it is time to reconsider precious time.

 

[Ripper]

I think you are tiresome Ripper.

You really think 'chicks rule' is a sexist joke? Well, saying THAT is a joke.
I see no 'chicks' ruling anywhere. Do I see women rule? Hardly, it is a men's world.

(Not in my marriage though.)

O, and judging a joke by turning it 180° is not the way to see whether a joke is OK or not. Same goes for jokes being told about minorities or oppressed groups by those minorities/groups themselves. 'Aw those blacks/homosexuals/women are saying .... so I as a white/straight/man can say the exact same thing about them'.

My avatar was NOT a sexist joke. It was challenging authority. Myrthos authority. The joke is: Myrthos is my husband, and I do not want to behead him. 'O geez, really? Who'd have thought?' :/

So why don't you just shut up about me, my intent and my old avatar - using that just hoping to corner Myrthos, again and again.

One more thing.
Stereotypical jokes about blacks, Jews, you think are not ok, "unlikely to be taken in good humour", but hey, when women are concerned (almost?) everything goes as you are concerned? "The women I know can take a joke". You are sure they are not just laughing along with you to avoid the hassle, and not to be the partypooper? And mind you, you KNOW hem, they know you. You are on a forum here.
Start telling some demeaning jokes about yourselves, instead of the other. It is easy to piss on others, and it lacks every creativity to piss on those being pissed on already far too often.

Well, if we're having a full and frank exchange of views, I find the self-serving mental porridge of your arguments quite tiresome, too. I do actually quite regularly make self-deprecating jokes here, and when others take the piss out of what might be seen as groups pertinent to me, I think I usually take it with a wink.

With regard to what women think, I don't make sexist and condescending assumptions about truly knowing their minds, same as I wouldn't with anyone else. But, I do have really good female friends that I'm convinced I'm having a genuine laugh with - usually at their behest. When the ladies' rugby team turns up after a win, I can assure you that all outrageous humour is on the table, and the more the better.

And I could give you a small, specific, personal example. I really like cookery. When a female friend of mine contacted me recently to see if I wanted to join them out, I told her I was busy preparing a dinner for guests. She texted me back saying, "Lol. She's got you where she wants you. You need to get that bitch back in the kitchen." Now, out of context that's grossly offensive, but, between friends that are amused to say the un-sayable to each other, that's pretty funny. If you think that her edgy sense of humour was just pandering to me as a male, I think you haven't a clue. And most of my best friends are non-white, or mixed-race. They share all sorts of outrageous jokes, in a similar self-deprecating, don't-take-myself-too-seriously kind of way.

You don't like what I have to say? Cool. The feeling's mutual. I think it's hugely counter-productive when people try to push their self-righteous agenda with the half-assed political arguments you expound here, in which everything you try to pull is just fine, but anything outside of what you approve must be in bad faith. Most people, IMO, are not buying what you're selling.

 

[Corwin]

The problem with humour is that it is intensely personal; what one person finds funny another finds offensive and vice versa. Consider this, we rarely laugh at anything nice. Now I find most American humor (their spelling) pathetic and unfunny while I just love British humour. Can a few hundred million Americans be wrong? Certainly!! However, I don't hold that against them. Our cultures, ethnic origins, environment, etc, all impact us in many ways and humour is just one of those, so it is a delicate topic in an international forum. I agree that there are some areas where it would be TOTALLY unacceptable for people to go, such as jokes pertaining to race, or religion, while other areas such as politics tend to be open slather. (I hate them all) That makes moderating difficult, so even when I am personally offended, I tend to ignore it unless it breaks the clear boundaries we have set.

 

[OverIt]

Well, its starting to be a man's world now.

*introducing conscription for women.
*men being able to have multiple partners without commitment.
*men not having to marry partners who have children.
*women now HAVE to work even if they are in families.
*best athletes in women's sports are transwomen.

Soon to come:
*men not having to pay child support for children they didn't want.

Did I miss anything?

 

[Capt. Huggy Face]

You miss a lot, Overlt. Maybe you should just shut your mouth.

 

[SveNitoR]

You miss a lot, Overlt. Maybe you should just shut your mouth.

Just ignore him. He's a conspiratorial thinker who sees intentional patterns where there are none.

 

[Capt. Huggy Face]

I got banned for a day for telling him to shut his mouth. Funny thing is it worked in a way. He finally started talking a little sense.

 

[Ripper]

I got banned for a day for telling him to shut his mouth. Funny thing is it worked in a way. He finally started talking a little sense.

Lol. So that's where you've been.

 

[Capt. Huggy Face]

Yeah. Y'all mods might get better results if you actually tried talking to people, even if it's not so civilly, instead of pushing your little buttons.

 

[Ripper]

Touché.

 

[Capt. Huggy Face]

I didn't mean you.

The rules are simply a guideline, if they're rules worth their salt. Consider the conext, and think for yourselves.

 

[Ripper]

No worries. Just seemed funny.

 

[Capt. Huggy Face]

I just meant touche (don't know how to do the accent) means my strike was aimed at you, which it wasn't. And I guess this kind of blind, block-headed rule following gets under my skin a little.