Presidential "elections" in Russia

Well, the main part of the performance is over. Polling stations are closed, the candidates have cast their votes, the electoral commission is busy calculating the results. Tomorrow the tantalizing intrigue will end in a flash of revelation. Tomorrow we will find out who won the Russian presidential seat for the next 6 years.

Haha, just kidding, Putin. Preliminary results already give around 60% of the vote to the unchangeable, irreplaceable, unavoidable savior of all Russia, just as I predicted some time ago. Of course, winning isn't really the issue here, real elections have not taken place in Russia for some time now and Putin ran no risk of losing, the issue is making this circus freak show outwardly resemble actual presidential elections they hold in non-dictatorial nations (not Russia). To gain leverage.

The only real intrigue here is whether Putin's rule will end decades from today as the dictator follows Stalin/Mao/Kim Jong-Il and dies of natural causes while being in power to the last day, or some time before that due to an unexpected coup d'etat sweeping away the old rule and paving way to a new dictatorship, which has been the primary mode of development for Russia since, like, forever.


Results, according to the Glyphwright Polling Forecast Agency, will be as follows:

Putin: 60-65%
Communist freak: 10-15%
Nationalist freak: 5-10%
Forgettable freak: 5%
Subservient billionaire: 1%