*PUN WARNING*
Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage,
a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large
insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then
arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious
dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then
explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse
was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he
wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's
insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept
the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local
Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department
and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands and as the poor
unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor the
manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder
scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol'Artie had no
choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured
by the hidden security cameras and observed by the store's security
guard, who immediately called the police.
Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the
store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed
the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with
the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper,
the headline declared............
(You're going to hate me for this . . )
"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT WAL-MART!"