I agree completely that Demon's Souls is "fair" - in that it rewards patient and careful observation and study of game mechanics. From there, it's a matter of timing and precision.
However, in the initial stages - during the first 5-10 hours of play - you WILL die endlessly, because everyone takes their time learning a new game with mechanics and gameplay as distinct as in Demon's Souls. Especially these days, as we've been conditioned to games handing everything to us without the slightest effort on our part.
So, there is a large element of trial and error in the beginning - and I think it's during this period that most give up on the game.
But if you persevere, there's a great game waiting for those inclined.
Personally, I stopped playing after ~20 hours or so - because I felt there was not enough variety in the actual mechanics of the game - and I made the mistake of reading up on loot tables and so forth. So there were few surprises left - and the actual levels/bosses (magnificent as they are) did not represent enough for me to want to dedicate myself. It's never a game that you can casually play - and you have to focus 100% when playing. Also, I didn't really care for the PvP implementation, even though it was quite novel. I just knew I had to invest a lot to become a good player, and in the end - the game was just not big enough in scope for me to bother. I'm hoping the sequel will have more variety in terms of loot and character options.
