Cm
Sentinel of Light
These may be hidden here in the archives of pages past, but they did spark a smile so here you go.
Ain't never heard it called that before!
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine.
The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."
Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week."
SMART ASS
Two businessmen were sitting down for a break in their
Soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few
Shelves set up.
One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to
Walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a
Curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice
Asked, "What are you selling' here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "Must be doing well...
Only two left."
Ain't never heard it called that before!
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine.
The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."
Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week."
SMART ASS
Two businessmen were sitting down for a break in their
Soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few
Shelves set up.
One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to
Walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a
Curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice
Asked, "What are you selling' here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "Must be doing well...
Only two left."