Got this in a local email. I suppose I could have put it in the P&R forum, but I feel this is more suitable!!
Interesting how various nations view threats differently.
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in
Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A
Bit Cross."
Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all
but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The
last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the
great fire of 1666.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert
level from "Run" to "Hide".
The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender."
The recent rise was precipitated by a fire that last week destroyed France's white
flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat
Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress
in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.." They also have two higher levels: "Invade
a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat
they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These
beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a
really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies,
just in case.
And at a local level...
New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!".
Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty
teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime
Minister's bath),
New Zealand has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Austrulia will come
end riscue us".
In the event of invasion, New Zealanders will be asked to gather together in a
strategic defensive position called "Bondi".
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll
be right, mate".
Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the
barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled".
There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of the final
escalation level.